My girlfriend’s golden retriever, Chloe, died Friday night. She was 13 years old. She was diagnosed with cancer a couple of years ago and while the tumor was surgically removed, the vet told us that it was aggressive and would likely come back. Fortunately, she died in her sleep and suffered no pain.
Her best bud was my girlfriend’s shepherd mix, Alix, who is 14 years old and they’ve been together the past 11 years. Alix just doesn’t know what to do with himself. He’s been pacing, whining, barking, and insisting to go outside just to sniff the air and come back inside. He’s miserable.
Is there anything we can do to ease his loneliness? She bought him a new bed and he seems pleased with that. She also bought him a big bone to keep him occupied but he’s still struggling. Any ideas?
Visit your local dog pound and rescue a puppy to keep him happy.
Of course, that means in a few years that puppy will be grieving the loss of Alix (given that 14 is pretty old for a shepherd type dog).
My two little dogs (feist and Chihuahua/Corgi mix) mourned the loss of their big dog (Lab) friend after his death for a couple of weeks; wouldn’t go in his house etc.
Give lots of petting and love, and some special snugs and treats. They will get by it. In a way dogs are like people. They just want to know that you miss the other dog too. I talked to mine a good bit; some ppl will say that it was more for me than the dogs; but who knows. It helped them, I think.
Aw… poor puppy. When my Pretzel died, her sister Shadow was inconsolable. I was pretty upset myself and Shadow spent a lot of time in my arms as I cried. I think the main thing in her mind was ‘Where the heck is Pretzel?! When is she coming back?! Who will lick my ears?!’. I wish I had known then that there are vets that will come to your house to put a dog to sleep - I think it would have helped Shadow to know what was happening.
At any rate, we too bought a new bed for Shadow and gave her lots of love. She kept wanting to go outside because SURELY that’s where Pretzel was! We would patiently let her out and went for frequent walks too. The exercise seemed to help.
Because the kids are in school all day and we both work, we did get a puppy. One ruined living room carpet, chewed banister, scratched trim around the bay window later, Honey and Shadow are buddies. Looking back I wouldn’t have gotten another dog because of the peeing/destruction that Honey does, but Shadow has a buddy. It took her a couple of weeks to stop looking for her sister, then she lay around mournfully for another week. She was just starting to pull out of it when we brought Honey home.
Shadow promptly went under our bed and wouldn’t come out unless she had to go outside. She was very expressive in the looks she gave me. They ranged from an outraged ‘You’ve got to be kidding me’ to a haunted look of betrayal.
Dogs may not be able to talk but they sure can let us know how they feel with those big brown eyes.
It took almost a week for Shadow to make her way down the stairs. First she would poke her head out from under the bed and sniff the air, retreating if we got close to her cave. Then she would venture completely out and sniff the air, scurrying back under when she heard anyone. After a few days she could be seen in the upstairs hallway, peering down the stairs. She came down one. step. at. a. time. over the next couple of days. We just left her alone. She didn’t want to be touched (unusual) and HATED that new puppy. One day my husband was playing with a toy with Honey and Shadow couldn’t take it any more. She came all the way down the stairs and whined. We opened the gate and she joined in the play, just like that. Honey was overjoyed to have a buddy.
Pretzel was 5 1/2 when she died. When Shadow goes Honey will just be an ‘only dog’. I don’t think a 14 year old and a new puppy would be the most compatible mix. Even now, Honey is much more spirited than Shadow and that sometimes drives Shadow nuts. Honey reminds me of Tigger; always bouncing around.
Our cat grieved when her buddy died. We went out and got her a new kitten within just a few days. It really helped a lot. We’ve gotten a bunch of cats since then, but Echo was the one that pulled Goody Two Shoes out of her sadness.
Oh God, I’m dreading this very thing someday down the road. Our two springer spaniels are inseparable. We brought Dottie home as a pup when Phyllis was 2, and they’ve hardly been apart since then. When one has to go the vet without the other, the one left behind barks frantically when we separate them. But someday down the road there will be only one lonely springer in the house.
When the late great Miss Emily’s sleeping buddy B.J. died, she just about wanted to climb down Mr. S’s shirt. I still remember that day vividly; her eyes were all watery and desperate-looking too. After that she became Mr. S’s Bestest Buddy Ever. She had never been that clingy and devoted to him before; I guessed she transferred her adoration of B.J. onto him.
None of our elderly dogs have been particularly happy to have a boisterous puppy around. For that reason we keep our 13-year-old arthritic shepherd/lab mix, Scout, mostly separated from the springers; (1) we don’t want them slamming into her poor old achy body, and (2) it lessens the chance of a fight.
Used to have an beagle and German shepherd back in the day. The German shepherd kicked the bucket around the time the dog show came on tv. The beagle watched the dog show until she saw the German shepherd. She thought the shepherd on tv was the one that just died. She licked the tv screen (just a little lick) and looked behind the monitor to see where he was.
When I was a teenager the family dog died, and the cat (who had been her surrogate child) was inconsolable. Wandering around, meowing, looking in vain for the dog; it was pitiful. We started spending extra time with him, and the companionship seemed to snap him out of it after about a week. He went from being generally standoffish to a total lap cat, though, so beware!
I think a puppy would be a bad move, too bouncy for an elderly dog, but perhaps this would be a perfect time to look for a mellower adult dog to join the household? There are scads of grown dogs needing homes all over Petfinder and giving a harder to place grown dog a home would be good karma all around. A 14 year old dog doesn’t have long to go, and having another dog around to lessen the blow when she goes would be a help too, seems to me. Then, with a middle aged adult dog in the house who’s accustomed to change, would be the right time to get a puppy.
I would suggest adding a little flavoring to the dog’s food to encourage him to eat. Sometimes, grieving dogs refuse food and in elderly pets or those with health problems, this could be a very bad thing.
This is going to sound crazy (mostly cuz it is crazy), but when one of my sister’s dogs died a few years back, she brought the remains back from the vet for the surviving dog to sniff. According to her, Bear came out to the truck and took a sniff at the dead doggie and looked up at Sis as if to say, “Huh. Dead. Okay.”.
He seemed to understand that Oso wasn’t coming back, and although he obviously missed her, he didn’t go around looking for her - he knew she was gone forever.
Ruby, I know it’s too late now to try this, and probably not too practical anyway. I agree with what you’ve done so far and with the other posters who recommend more attention and special treats for the lonely dog. And my condolences on the loss of a good friend.
We’re not likely to go the puppy route. Although I’ve heard lots of stories where this has worked well for both the pet and pet owners, Alix is elderly and not at the peak of health. I believe a new puppy would annoy the crap out of him.
Actually, no, it’s not too late for this. We took Chloe to the vet Monday morning for a private cremation. We’ll have her ashes back next week. We will certainly let Alix sniff it and maybe that will help him let her go.
Alix wouldn’t go near her body. He has since been sniffing the area on the porch where she was so hopefully that will help.
Thanks everyone. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the help.
Since you’ve said that another puppy isn’t practical, I would suggest keeping your dog as busy as possible. Buy him some new toys, and give him edible, yummy treats which take a long time to consume.
When Bobbie died, Joplin was a little lost for a few weeks. He looked for her some, but not obsessively. If anything, he wanted to be left alone more than usual – maybe he just needed time to sort things out. In time, he came back to himself.
Definitely let Alix sniff the ashes, it may help. Joplin ran from Bobbie’s ashes – put his ears back and backed away from them. The box that holds her ashes is in the living room and if I take it out to dust or something, he averts his eyes. Of course, he’s a little weird.
I talked to mine a good bit; some ppl will say that it was more for me than the dogs; but who knows. It helped them, I think.
When my Pretzel died, her sister Shadow was inconsolable. I was pretty upset myself and Shadow spent a lot of time in my arms as I cried. I think the main thing in her mind was ‘Where the heck is Pretzel?! When is she coming back?! Who will lick my ears?!’. I wish I had known then that there are vets that will come to your house to put a dog to sleep - I think it would have helped Shadow to know what was happening.