Hi everyone. I just made a thread a few days ago about my cat, Shadow, dying. I just can’t deal with this crap anymore. I have a weird feeling that something in the house is killing the animals, but I guess it’s unlikely. My dog, Missy, was breathing very strangely tonight and my mom said she went into the bathroom and had a heart attack. She was 11 years old. It’s so hard to deal with 2 animals dying within 11 days of each other. How does someone cope with this. I made an appointment with a psychiatrist for January. I’m a person who’s never had an animal die to having two animals die withing 11 days of each other. It’s been very hard on me. I took the cat to the vert offcie to be disposed of for $50 dollars, but I think my parents want to bury the dog in the backyard. I hope they do it by tonight because it’s supposed to rain in Southern California by Saturday. I’m too upset to stay here so I’m going to a friends house for 2 days and hope they bury the dog by then. That’s what I did when Shadow died. Both my parents have to work today and won’t be home until 6pm so the dog will stay in the house all day covered in a blanket. It’s ironic we used the same animal bed to put Shadow in and now the dog. I really want to throw that bed away now. I only have one cat left named Green eyes and shes almost 11. I hope this cat doesn’t die. We also adopted some stray cat named Mr. Bear, but he stays in the backyard a lot and I didn’t feel as comfortable as I did with my “real” animals. Mr. Bear is probably 10 years old too (the vet guessed his age). I’ve always wanted an orange cat so I guess I’ll be looking. How soon is too soon to get another animal? What am I supposed to do with all this dog food, 6 bags of Puperoni sticks, pig ears, and a soup bone we have for the dog, plus a dog leash and collar? I was thinking of giving it to the 2 neighbors who have dogs. We just went shopping yesterday for all this pet stuff and now it feels sad to have it in our house. I bought my dog when I was 11 and now I’m 22 so I feel that the dog is a part of the family and grew up with me. Why do I feel like I can’t cry with the dog’s death, but was upset when my cat died?I cried a little with the dog, but was bawling with the cat, even thinking about going to the emergency room. Maybe because the cat was only 4 and still young. I thought my dog would live at least until maybe 13? She was an 11 year old Pomeranian. I thought small dogs lived longer. I feel like I’m being punished. God hates me or something because why would he let 2 of my animals die within days? Now I feel scared to be around the other cat for fear it might die too. Please give me comforting words or tell me about your loss of animals so I’ll feel better.
Does anyone know of a number I can call to talk to someone about the death of a pet? Are there special hotlines for this?
So sorry to hear about your animals dying. Two of them in such a short time span, that’s quite harsh.
God isn’t trying to punish you, though. We outlive out pets (well, most, anyway): it’s the natural way of things. I know you’re overwhelmed about it now, but it’ll be better in a few weeks, I’m sure.
If you don’t mind me asking: have you experienced the loss of a relative before?
PrehensileRectum, I’ve found that writing a letter to your pet helps a great deal. As you’ve asked us to share stories of our own losses, here’s my letter.
I am so sorry to hear your news. Sending supporting thoughts your way.
The Veterinary School at UC-Davis has a grief counciler on staff. I know that’s a long way away from Southern California - but they might be able to give you the name of somebody closer to where you live. You might consider calling the the small animal hospital and asking about it.
Here’s a link to pet loss support hotlines.
I’m very sorry about your loss.
July 4th weekend, 2004, we lost our beloved cockatiel hen Dottie to egg-binding. Took her in for emergencey surgery but she passed while under anesthesia. Went to visit friends that evening so we wouldn’t have to think about Dottie, and got home to find that the fish tank (which was still cycling) had spiked in nitrites that day (went from minimal reading the previous evening to off the chart), killing our oldest and largest fish. Two other fish had died in the preceding weeks from illness contracted before we realized the tank needed to cycle before it would be safe.
The fish were our fault for being ignorant, and Dottie was only trying to lay eggs because she felt safe and happy in our house.
I felt bad for a long time. Grief for pets is real.
We do love our other animals though, so that helps.
Hope you feel better soon.
Sailboat
I am so , so sorry. There are no words that can ease your pain, I know this only too well . As has been said above, the grief we feel with the loss of a pet is real. They are a part of our family and our lives. We love them , and they love us in return.
Normally small dogs do live longer, but unfortumately , some breeds have genetic health problems. And Poms are known to have heart problems. My mom had a sweet little Pom named Daisy that had an enlarged heart and passed away at age 6.
When is the right time to get another dog? When it FEELS right to you. I usually like to wait a couple months, but then, I also have multiple dogs. I don’t think I could live in a dogless house. And when I lost my beloved Fancy to cancer this past July, I got a puppy less than 2 weeks later, although I already had made the plans to buy him weeks before I lost Fancy. If it feels right t you , there is nothing wong with getting another puppy right away. Look on it as a tribute to your dog.
((((hugs))))
For pure cathartic relief, I recommend The Thurber Carnival, so you can read “Snapshot of a Dog” and “The Dog That Bit People.” Read 'em both, read 'em alone, cry all you need to, and then you’ll feel better.
My dog, long ago, was a dimwitted and often destructive Alaskan Husky named Fritz, who caused us no end of trouble. I wish I’d treated him better.
I keep going to Missy by the bed and telling her to wake up. It’s so hard to see my beloved dog dead. I was crying so loud the other cat, Mr. Bear, came over and started rubbing his head on me and licked my hand. I have a fear now that if I get another animal it will die. I hope my animals weren’t poisoned because this is so coincidental. Now I want to check my yard and see if there are poisonous treats maybe tossed over the wall.
The only other loss besides my cat and dog was my grandmother and I know this very harsh, but I cried and grieved more for my animals. Thank you, everyone for sending warm thoughts my way. 
Hey PR, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve certainly had pets that I mourned for more than I did for family members. It’s tough losing a pet because unlike the aunt or grandma that you only see once every couple months, the pets were always around. I know how hard it is losing one, let alone two pets, but hang in there.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Time does heal, and eventually the pain will subside and you will be left with happy memories of how you loved them and the love they gave you in return. Since you asked for stories, I’ll tell you mine.
A couple of years ago I had my first experience with losing a pet. My long-haired grey cat Muffins had to be put to sleep because she had been having seizures that she couldn’t come out of. She had a brain tumour and there was nothing to be done for her but to let her sleep. There were feelings of guilt on my part because I wonder if there were signs I should have been seeing…maybe I would have treasured more of the last moments with her if I had known she was dying. I don’t know.
The first few days were so rough. In the morning, still groggy from sleep I put food in her dish and called to her before remembering that she wouldn’t be eating breakfast today. When I returned from work and she wasn’t in the window I completely fell apart sobbing on the floor. I was glad no one else was around to see me like that. After that, I sometimes swore that I could hear the “thump thump” sound of her coming down the hardwood stairs. She was loud. She liked to make an entrance. Also, sometimes I’d glimpse grey movement out of the corner of my eye and turn my head expecting to see her.
Before long, I was able to make peace with the idea that she is gone. I loved that cat very much and she loved me too. It does get easier, but it’s okay to grieve.
{{{{{PrehensileRectum}}}}}
Here are some pet-loss hotlines and support groups in California.
If they are unopened/unused, you might want to donate them to a local animal shelter or dog rescue group in memory of Missy.
Who saw me through some tough times. It was very unexpected. My little doggie was in his prime. I see you are in the LA area. For what it is worth, I buried Pokey in the Pet Cemetary in Calabasas.
They are very nice there, and it runs about $650 for a plot for a smaller animal like yours. Markers are a different story that I have yet to address. If you want a memorial for the animal this is preferable to a backyard burial that could be disrupted in the future and is probably illegal (what a world we live in).
Do not let the vet dispose of your pet. Just a good idea.
As an agnostic, I cannot comment on doctrinal spiritual matters, but it has been my observation that life kicks you in the tender spot on a periodic basis.
As far is the dog food and paraphanelia, any animal shelter would be more than happy to take a donation. In this way you can help some other animals, and make a good contact at the shelter. Dog food needs to be consumed just like people food, but you might want to save some toys or whatever for a new animal.
Yes it is too early to go get a pet. I lost Pokey a month ago and I still lose it emotionally on a regular basis. I am not ready, so you aren’t either. These next few days are going to be tough, and you won’t be thinking clearly so the best thing to do is camp out in your house, or, alternatively, go to a hotel for a few days if there are too many memories. I had a lot of trouble doing simple things like driving for a little while. Talk to friends. I never called the hotline, so I don’t know about that. I just cried a lot.If you have a freind who can stock up for you on kleenex and household stuff that would be good.
I am in LA, so if you want to e-mail me it should be in my profile soon.
Very sorry about your loss.
Oh sweetie, I’m so very sorry.
Grief is always different. You may not cry as much this time, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t feeling it.
You’re not cursed, and it’s not your fault. Good luck in seeking counseling.
hugs
When my cat Achmed died (he was killed by a dog), I thought I would die too. Went through all the self-blame, the feeling ridiculous for being so completely devastated by the death of a pet, and feelings of emptiness that sent me back to therapy. Your feelings are totally normal right now, and all I can say is, you didn’t do anything wrong. You are not to blame here.
I’ll tell you what became my mantra, which isn’t very eloquent but it is true: “This isn’t a punishment. This isn’t your fault. It’s just some bad shit that happened.” The timing is horrible, you feel terrible, but each day that passes, you will feel, not exactly better, but more interested in life and able to be happy. That’s the grieving process for you-- laborious, seemingly endless, but most definitely happening a little bit each day.
Hang in there. You will be OK.
There is no easy way to deal with a pet’s death, and two so close together is extra-hard. I’m so sorry, PrehensileRectum. I had a beloved cat we got when I was 6 years old who lived until I was 28, and I still cry when I think about her death.
But since then I’ve come to realize that the love I’ve shared with each pet in my life just multiplies as I get the next pet, and each one holds a special and unique place in my heart. There’s no replacing a lost pet, but there’s creating new memories with a new pet and sharing your love with another animal who needs a home.
It’s not you; you’re not cursed, your animals weren’t poisoned, you just feel awful right now. No one can tell you how soon to get another pet; you have to decide for yourself. I’m one of the “the house is painfully empty without a creature in it to love” people who goes right out and finds another animal to love; I find that keeping busy with a new animal helps the time pass more quickly until my grief for my old animal isn’t quite so raw. That’s a decision only you can make.
Just echoing what everyone esle said–this isn’t your fault, it is ok to grieve for a pet, and you will feel better, but it will take a while. I think it is great that Anne Neville and calliope found you some hotlines. Please call them.
You are a teenager, right? You sound like me when I was a teenager. I was a very emotionally intense person; everything seemed emotionally overwhelming. My experience was that it gets better. I am still pretty emotional, but not like I was when I was younger. I hope that happens for you, too. Hang in there.
I am so sorry. Even though I haven’t had two pets die in such a short bit of time, I can relate, somewhat. When my cat (She’d been with me for 18 years) had to be put down because of kidney disease I felt so bad. I still think of her often. Get another pet when you feel right about it, and don’t feel silly because “it was just a pet”. Animals can be such good friends.