Coming Soon - Sex in Space!

Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports
1

Straight Dope regulars are familiar with Cecil’s efforts to determine if anyone has ever had sex in space.

This just in: the Russian space agency is offering the deal of a lifetime. For a mere $40 million, you and your sweetie can honeymoon on the International Space Station. While officials aren’t guaranteeing that you’ll get lucky, neither are they saying that sex will be forbidden.

With the spirit of Christmas upon me, I offer a proposal to the Teeming Millions: as a token of our appreciation, let’s put our nickels together and buy Unca Cecil and the missus that second honeymoon they’ve always wanted. Here’s my five cents. Only $39,999,999.95 to go.

Assuming Cecil is amenable, of course.

2

And assuming that the Missus thinks eight to ten months of training and being blasted off at multi-g’s would be worth one zero-g act of intercourse.*

Not to mention finding a place to “do it” away from the watchful eyes of the professional minder.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/031222/323/ehlpc.html

  • or maybe two. Depends on Cece.
3

Mrs. Evil Captor would do it in zero-gee in a trice, I’m sure, just for the chance to get into space. And I suppose we’d have to make videos for, um, science reasons. THAT she might not go for.

4

Um, just for the record, that would be with Mr. Evil Captor, not Cecil. It might take her two or three trices to make a decision like that.

5

Umm… has anyone given any consideration to the actual mechanics of the act? Have you and your SO tried it in a pool, for example? It might be fun for Kama Sutra fans but it doesn’t sound like something the inexperienced should attempt.

6

We did it in a pool a couple of time,s and iin the ocean, it was very nice. Don’t think that translates directly into weightlessness, though.

7

Y’know, sometimes I think that the Russian Space Agency does stuff like this just to watch the people in NASA tear out their hair… or as a means of extortion :wink: (“Give us 40 million or we launch Paris Hilton!”)

8

Oh, “Inside Desiree Cousteau” (a porn flick) has some underwater scenes of Desiree doing it in a swimming pool with her video swain of the moment, for those interested in researching this burning topic. But they were in the shallow end with at least one of them soundly braced agaisnt the side of the pool. Then again, bracing oneself against the side of things is possible in space, too.

Science is wonderful.

9

Has anyone tried ringing NASA and saying “I’m calling regarding the masturbation experiement amongst astronauts…yes I’ll hold…no I’m not from Chicago…”

10

JRDelerious, shouldn’t that be “Give us 40 million or we <i>don’t</i> launch Paris Hilton!”?

11

Well, if Cecil is willing to accept third-hand, unsubstantiated, one-step-above-rumor information: the daughter of a former astronaut told me that her father was instructed to masturbate on at least one mission and had done so. Presumably the other astronauts were instructed (and did) likewise.

12

Here’s an article from The Times of India which suggests that some research has been done on the subject.

I suspect that sixty-nine, difficult to achieve with real comfort for both parties in standard gravity, might actually be easier in orbit.