Comments from Police Car Videotapes.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car videos
around the country.

#15 “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out
after you wear them awhile.”

#14 “Take your hands off the car, and I’ll make your birth certificate a
worthless document.”

#13 “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

#12 “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn’t know,
that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun.”

#11 “So you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?”

#10 “Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it
will help. Oh did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?”

#9 “Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I’m warning you not to do that again
or I’ll give you another ticket.”

#8 “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

#7 “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO.”

#6 “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven.”

#5 “In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.”

#4 “Just how big were those two beers?”

#3 “No sir we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now
we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.”

#2 “I’m glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours.
At least you know someone who can post your bail.”

And… THE BEST ONE !!!

#1 "You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? … You’re right, we
don’t. … Sign here.

2

:: copies and pastes into email to send to a friend who, oddly, became a cop. ::

3

Sounds like they spend a lot of time thinking up snappy one-liners while parked on the side of the road watching the radar display.

4

Isn’t this the same list I read a year ago which was “emailed to my aunt by a friend of hers whos a shift supervisor for one of the stations…all of these were recorded on the radio” … in Canada? :dubious:

5

Here’s one my brother claims was said to him by a Baltimore County cop when his truck was stolen. He asked if there was any chance that the police would find the truck. Cop said “If it rear-ends us at a stoplight we’ll give you a call.”