In China I get comments that would be eyebrow-raising back home but don’t bother me much. There’s a small corner store where I go to buy cigarettes and beer every now and then. The people are really nice so I frequent their store. As soon as I walk in, though, I get the “Wow, isn’t he so white?/Isn’t his nose so big?/Aren’t his arms so hairy?” comments (about me but directed to other customers in the store). When people find out I’m a Jew they say “Wow, you must be good with money” or something like that. I never get angry about it. It’s just ignorance of other cultures, I guess. Different from the other incidents mentioned in this thread.
What I can’t stand is, when back home, I hear someone say “nr" and then write it off with "to me a 'nr’ is a black person who doesn’t respect themselves, not all black people.” That’s such a self-serving cop-out. If you want to mention people like that, why not just call them “fools” or “jerks?” Why do you have to use one of the most offensive words in the entire language, one with such a huge, malignant historical weight to it? Methinks more than a few people are racists and just wont admit it to themselves.
ETA: I should mention that “back home” means back in the US. No one in my actual home or family has said something like that in my presence, but I have heard friends and acquaintances say that.
This thread is really eye-opening. It makes me wonder what I’d be privy to if I were a white person.
Not that I’ve never heard a blow-away comment before. There was the time an Indian guy who I was giving a ride to commented on all the “niggers” who lived in Newark, right after he had asked if I was black and I said yes.
There was the time my father said he didn’t look like a “dirty Jew” after I told him he looked like Gabe Kaplan when he was younger.
Then there was the time my mother said all white people were going to go to hell unless they repented for their oppression against black people.
Years ago (1990-ish) I worked in the billing department of a major Detroit hospital. During that time, I was in the minority of the employees - a Single White Female. One day a whole group of us were having lunch in the cafeteria, and an older woman (also white) made a comment into one of those silences that crop up:
“Well, if I had to be black, I’d want my skin to look like hers” (pointing to a fairly pale skinned black woman) “rather than hers” (pointing to a dark complected co-worker).
We all just kind of sat there in silence, but I’m not sure she ever quite got how awkward that statement was…
Yes, my aunt does know my culture and religion. I didn’t say anything because I was too stunned but eventually she remembered that I was Jewish and apologized.
A few years ago I was at the wedding of an old university friend of mine. He’s Irish and his bride is Russian and they live in Moscow. The wedding was in Ireland and his mother has always been extremely vocal about immigrants
Extremely.
She doesn’t like Catholics or black people or gay people or Jewish people or Indians or The English, either. She’s an all round hating machine. But on this occasion, she outdid even herself.
At this wedding, she was wittering on yet again about how it was a disgrace that all these immigrants were coming over here and stealing the jobs and marrying good honest Irish people. Someone pointed out to her that where her son lived, he was the job stealing, local-marrying immigrant.
She sat in silence for a good five minutes before she said
“My David’s not an immigrant, he’s an ex-pat. And the only thing worse than an immigrant is a third world bride. Nothing short of gold digging hoors, the lot of them”