T-minus 40 pounds and counting…
“SPOCK! Set phasers on Lipo!”
“Capt’n, the trousers, she canna hold any longer…”
The Mini Cooper convertible radio ads where people from 1-800-TOPDOWN come around to hand out wedgies, titty twisters, and the like to people driving with the tops up.
An insanely stupid commercial to start with, compounded by the fact that they’re running it in the winter.
The Pepto Bismal for children commercial, where the little ballerinas in their pink leotards do that awful pseudo-international sign language to represent “sour stomach” and so on. (Suspiciously, no mention of diarrhea.) And it’s all represented in some awful school play/musical, probably at the Pepto Bismal K-8 Magnet School, complete with applauding parents.
And a special award should go to the marketing company that put the Vince Guaraldi “Linus and Lucy” song in a lame Ford ad. Most people know the Charlie Brown cartoons, especially “A Charlie Brown Christmas”. Does anyone really appreciate having the image of a Ford vying for attention with all of their memories of Charlie Brown cartoons? Yeah, I think not. Nor am I going to buy a Ford just to get an iPod, as if an iPod is some kind of rare commodity no one can find anywhere else.
That’s what Ivylad said to me when I pointed out the error, but dammit, it still irks. It’s just wrong, and when it’s wrong, you get hung up on the wrong so you can’t see the message.
The “Cash Now” or “Cash Fast” or whatever the f*** those commericals with Gary Coleman are for. I think it’s hysterical how they used small set pieces to make him look normal size as if everyone and their mother doesn’t already know know GC is as short as my dick is long.
Kirk: "Scotty! I need more time! Just a… few… seconds… more!
Scotty: “Captain, she’s gonna blow any minute now!”
Kirk: “Bones! What’s her status!?!”
McCoy: “Dammit, Jim! I’m a doctor not a dietician!”
Spock: “Captain, we could attempt the Heimlich Maneuver…”
Kirk: “The Heimlich Maneuver? I remember reading about that back in Starfleet Academy. It’s a dangerous procedure that… could… potentially destroy the entire ship!”
McCoy: “Are you INSANE man!?! Jim, you’re not seriously considering this?!?”
Kirk: “It’s our only option Bones. Spock! Can you do it?”
Spock: “I’ll have to recalibrate the phaser array to compensate for her accerlated lipoid depletion status, but, it can be done…”
Scotty: "She’ll never hold Captain! One miscalculated fat corpuscle and the entire ship will blow!
Kirk: “That’s a chance I’m willing to take Scotty. Spock? Can you make it work?”
Spock: “There is an 87.5329 percent chance of success Captain.”
McCoy: “Damn your odds!”
Kirk: “SPOCK! Do it! Do it now!”
Spock: “Aye Captain. Recalibrating phaser array and initiating sequence… NOW!”
:::cheesy visual effects involving Kirstie Alley shrinking to Kate Olsen proportions:::
Kirstie: (woozy) “Captain?”
Kirk: “You’re all better now. Let me show you to my cabin…”
:::Star Trek make out music ensues:::
I just saw a commercial I don’t like – it’s the Visa commercial in which the ski coach advises the athlete to calm down before a big race by imagining her card was stolen. I don’t care how many protections Visa offers, I’m still going to be irritated and inconvenienced if my card is stolen.
You know what the Peanuts characters did in their first animated appearance? Sold Fords.
I really hate the Campbell’s Soup commercials with John Lithgow running around in his pajamas and socks, singing about how great the soup is.
There’s just something creepy about it.
I think she sounds more like she’s about to go from laughing into hysterics. The commercial just ends before she goes off.
Maniacal laughter, then “David, you ruined my life and now that you are deleted from my cell phone, I’m going to MAKE YOU PAY!”. I think she’s about to wig out.
Yeah, he was #2 on my list. He looks like some bizzare caricature. Not just the hair, but the whole way he rolls his eyes in almost orgasmic delight over the…Dukes of Hazzard theme? WTF?
Stayfree Maxi Pads. “Have a happy period!”
Bite me.
Let’s not forget the 3rd Nokia commercial, with the overdramatic anorexic girl rambling about how her awesome incrediable music would be lost forever if it were not for her phone.
I hate them all. I must never buy any Nokia product again for the transgressions.
-
The Pepto Bismol commercial where a bunch of people dance around to a song about various intestinal ailments sends me diving for the mute button every time.
-
There’s some commercial for some sort of Cajun spice that you can shake on your food. The man and woman in the commercial are WAY too excited about it.
-
The Burger King commercials. They’re giving me night terrors.
-
Another mention for the AOL commercials. “With a high-speed connection, hackers can come at you even faster!”. Bwuh?
-
Anti-aging products that create new “elements”. “New Oil of Olay, now with 80% more Youngium!” Secondary to that are the ads where some woman, who claims to be 96 years old, and who has very obviously been touched up in post production with very powerful software, claims that it’s all from using some product. Which invariable is infused with 38% more Elastium Sphericals.
-
Another vote for the Nokia girl and her breaking up ritual. That chick just sounds off balance. I think David is breathing a great big sigh of relief. And what the hell is the purpose of that ad? “Nokia phones. You can delete people from your auto dial.” Wow. I’ll take two.
-
The “What happens in Vegas” ads vaguely annoy me, but the woman who keeps giving out fake names is very hot.
-
OXYCLEAN!! WHICH YOU HAVE TO BUY NOW!! IT HAS THE CLEANING POWER OF OXYGEN!! I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVEN’T EXPIRED OF A MASSIVE CORONARY EVENT YET!!
-
Pretty much any commercial where young, dirty-looking, supposedly hip people are being used to selll something. I’m not buying anything from you! Take a shower, ferluvapete!
-
Some fast food chain (McDonalds?) has one where people (resembling those in #9) are holding their pinkie finger a certain way to indicate they want to eat at said place. There must have been a miscommunication at that ad agency. When a suggestion for a commercial is presented, and the guy in charge takes the presentation off the easel, puts it in the middle of the conference table and takes a big giant soft-ice cream style dump on it, that doesn’t mean “Make this commercial, for I have enjoyed the presentation greatly and feel it is innovative and fresh.”
Oh, and the Radio Shack ad where the high-maintenance pit-woofie with her “man” sits down and proceeds to tell mom what to get her, or else she’ll just make daddy get it for her? Yeah, hate that one REEEEALLY alot.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!
And that ad for Michaelina’s frozen dinners where they use the Macarena. A full DECADE after everyone got tired of it.
This is my new favorite thread…
Yeah, that TGI Fridays commercial is pretty bad. You almost expect him to honor kill her or something.
My hatin’ commercial is from one of those online stock trading companies. One features a guy in a marathon noticing that everyone is wearing one brand of shoe, and the other one has a daughter asking her dad for money to buy shoes ‘that everyone is wearing’. Both epiphanies prompt the main character to logon and buy stock in the companies immediately. Way to make sure you stay behind the curve. Buy stocks after everyone but you has clued in.
“Fitness Made Simple” with John Basedow. It gets played over and over. I can’t take it anymore!! Great, now I’ve succeeded in getting the freakin’ theme song going in my head. Arghh!
I like that one - she’s giving out the names of characters from various sitcoms “Hi, I’m Monica/I’m Phoebe/I’m Rachel” (the girls from Friends) or “Hi, I’m Carrie/Charlotte/Miranda/Samantha” (the girls from Sex and the City). Guess you have to know the shows. Since she rattles them off in order, it’s pretty funny.
I hate this one, too. I think it’s that fake pretentious thing; holding your pinky finger up makes you snobby and pretentious, so eating at McDonald’s is pretentious. :rolleyes: It just looks stupid to me. How the hell really eats with their fingers like that?
I really loved the penguins & polar bears commercial. I love almost anything with penguins in it. :o