I refuse to name the guilty companies, lest I inadvertently reward their awful tactics:
The toenail fungus ads. Hate them.
The detergent commercial that refers to “body soil”
Dancing about diarrhea
Foods involving creepy kings, or talking babies
Diet pills that are much too powerful for the casual dieter
Diet center commercials involving a Cher song
Glad to hear I’m not the only Chicagoan annoyed by flooring commercials. I may have grown up listening to those godawful things, but I’ve never reached any peace with them.
That HEAD ON ad comes in a few versions. One has a tag from the female announcer at the end, where she tries to say “It works” but ends up saying… “Ih Twerks.” I shit you not. You can actually hear the separataion like that.
And lets not ignore their new product…
Once again, totally serious here…
“Freedom from hemmorhoids? Freedhem hemmorhoid cream.
Freedom from hemmorhoids? Freedhem hemmorhoid cream.
Freedom from hemmorhoids? Freedhem hemmorhoid cream.”
As opposed to: “Freedhem. Apply directly to the asshole who made this commercial.”
I swear to all that is unholy, I will never buy any of these products. EVER.
I used to work with the guy who wrote the line, “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up.” HIM I liked, as he wrote a line that, well, got famous all on its own. THIS crap, on the other hand, needs to be shoved down someone’s gullet after its been wrapped in poison-laced barbed wire.
Robert de Niro’s repulsive Amex spot guaranteed that should I ever want to generate large amounts of unsecured transient debt, I will most certainly not be making the same choice as him.
The one I’ve been hating lately is for (I think) Dairy Queen, or one of those other second-tier fast food joints. As a guy reaches his seat on an airplane, he sets down his ice cream concoction on his tray table long enough to put his carry-on bag in the overhead bin, then turns around to find this smug, smarmy guy eating it. He drops the bag (it lands on the head of the woman in the seat below the bin) to confront the thief, but then turns around when the woman yells at him–whereupon the smarmy guy start shoveling down the first guy’s ice cream again. If that had been me, Smarmy Guy would have been wearing that ice cream. The expression on his face makes me want to paste him one in the jaw. And of course they play it about a hundred times.
Chicago only: radio commercials for Max Madsen car dealerships featuring “the doctor” - an obviously not-Indian guy doing an Indian accent. I can’t decide if the accent is offensive, or if it’s just the horribly written one-sided phone conversations this guy has - it’s the dumbest device for getting out car sales info I can conceive of.
I haven’t heard it in a while now, but there was a radio ad for a product called “Jointritis”. It’s some sort of anti-arthritis cream. The ad was mainly testimonials, and one of them is just this old woman who says, in the most nasal whiney voice ever “jointritis”, over and over. Scarred me for life.
That one used to annoy me, but now it makes me laugh. I was in a doctor’s office a couple of years ago, in the waiting room. There was a radio playing. Another person waiting had her son (of about 2 or 3 years old) waiting with her, and the Luna commercial came on. The kid sang along: “773-202 … tuna!” And now I think about that every time I hear the damned thing.
Oh yes. Oh yes indeed. Everyone involved in that commercial is an idiot. Why didn’t he just say “that guy’s eating my Blizzard!” Or set his bag down in the aisle and call the flight attendant? Or ask someone else to hold it? Or, or, or.
Of course, what kind of an idiot buys some exotic Blizzard concoction just before their flight, parks, carries it in, through security, all the way to the gate, etc, effectively removing one of his hands throughout the entire process? Did he carry it through the metal detector? He had enough time to stop and buy it but not stop and eat it at any point before finding his seat on the plane? BLARGH!!
I’m a bad, bad person. I swore I would never buy a car from Max Madson because of those ads, but I did. I feel so guilty. But I like my car.
I’ll never buy Oust, because I hate that woman who bitches about her kid’s clothes being “smelly and gross.” I know the girl’s not real, but every time I see this commercial, I feel sorry for her.
I think that the atrociously sexist Subway Dinner Theater commercials (ever notice that’s always the wife/mother who is panicking over her Need to Provide to the husband and kids?) are way up on the list for me. I haden’t seen that Folgers commercial before, thank heaven. It pretty much amounts to self-parody, but it’s painful to watch.
I feel so guilty. But I like my car.