It would be cool if you were because
BAND NAME!
My entry for this category is a Walmart ad which (in my area) shows after 11:30 pm. Employees are happily stocking shelves, running cash registers, etc, to the sound of Harvest King’s Dancing in the Moonlight http://youtube.com/watch?v=-j_D8qZKlIM.
Why do I hate this ad? First, I work 2nd shift at a Walmart superstore. I leave work after 11:00 pm. Half-an-hour later, at home, I turn on the tv & see the ad. I just left there. I want to forget where I work for a little while, ok?
Second, “Dancing in the Moonlight” was a favorite dance/good time song for me back in the day. Why’d they have to mess with it?
Thanks for letting me vent.
Love, Phil
No, not at all. But if you’d ever had a cat in your house that peed on things in appropriately, you’d understand. The point is that cat piss has its own special brand of perpetual stink, and for my cat to be having problems locating the litterbox is definitely not a good thing. Because some cats would piss on your DVD collection, instead. And ten years later, some of your DVDs would still smell faintly of cat piss.
RE: the pantywaist fop Gecko. Is it me or didn’t there used to be a much cooler Gecko out there? The one that won the awards, that people in the commercial were in awe of… something like that. Isn’t the new soft-spoken Gecko a replacement? Have the good folks from CSI or Law & Order looked into the mysterious replacement?
RE: Cover songs. I agree that the makers of the Target/Luvs/whatever ads should be trapped in a Musak-enabled elevator for days (with a greasy slob who put on too much Axe that morning).
The one that really gets to me is for some new-fangled birth control pill. They use/abominate a Twisted Sister song. Oh, my poor inner 80s head-banger! And We’re Not Gonna Take It redone as some super-sugary-crappy girl-band? EEEEEEEAAAAAAAA! I know the band was tongue-and-cheek and all, but … but … EAAAAHhhh! I think one of the greatest injustices of the ad is that it soiled one of the all-time greatest music videos (loving Animal House is a prerequisite).
//nitpick//King Harvest//nitpick
What I find funny about this commercial is that they say something like, “Did you know that there’s a pill that will keep you from turning into a werewolf just before your period?” and immediately you hear women singing, “We’re not gonna take it!”
I asked my husband, “Don’t they even listen to what they’re saying?”
Somehow managed to catch two of these in a row recently. The PC in the self-help group and, well, don’t quite know what the other one was; I think it had to do with college. The self-help group was somewhat amusing but hardly accurate.
Actually, that pill commercial infuriates me for a different reason–because the claims they’re making about that pill can be made for any standard birth control pill on the market. Given that your doctor prescribes for you a pill that’s the right hormonal balance for your body, they all alleviate symptoms of PMS. They all give you shorter and lighter periods. Any monophasic pill can be used to skip or extend the length of time between periods, though some are better for that purpose than others.
But! *This one *has a stupid but hip-sounding name, appears in a commercial with bad cover versions of 80’s hair metal songs, and costs four-to-ten times as much out of pocket! Hooray!
The wife narrates the commercial in a voiceover, and the video is her buying the steaks at W-M, unpacking them at home, while the husband looks on nervously. At the end, they’re sitting together eating, he takes a bite, obviously enjoying it, then takes a look at her and stops smiling, The whole voiceover is her gloating over how she KNOWS he’s wondering why she bought the steaks, and what important occasion he’s forgotten.
I HATE those stupid free credit report dot com commericals with that idiotic shlub singing about how much his life sucks just because he didn’t check his credit report. Not because his credit’s bad, mind you, but because he didn’t check first.
At least they quickly dropped the one where he implied he would’ve dumped his wife rather than marry her if he’d checked her credit report first. That one was annoying AND tasteless.
Every cybersecurity ad I’ve ever seen, no matter how odious it tries to make the hackers or infothieves appear, makes me sympathize with them against the corporation that purportedly needs protection from them.
Its not the worst ad on the TV, but that “paying with visa versus paying by cash” ad really bugs me because of the sheer Orwellian 1984 “There are five fingers” aspect to it.
Its trying to convince you that paying with cash is somehow slower than paying with Visa, whereas anyone who has ever tried to pay with credit/debit card knows its almost always significantly slower than paying with cash. That really bugs me, as they must know that, yet are trying to convince people to the contrary anyway. Theres something really creepy about that IMO.
That said you don’t see those particular ads much anymore so its possible they’ve seen sense.
Not to mention the fact that they are REQUIRED BY LAW to give you your credit report FOR FREE (and correct any errors). Without signing up for any stupidly expensive “protection plans”.
I’ll second the Ashton Kutcher camera/party commercial mentioned upstream. My wife says that the implication is that the girls were taking naughty photos of their bits but the commerical itself just shows them photographing their faces. Maybe if they showed a girl enter a closet or something with the camera. Anyway, as is, it just looks as though Mr. Kutcher is shocked and scandalized to see some smiling twenty-three year old chippy in his photos.
Try having your 5 year old say it. At church.
My daughter has memorized the song, and insists on singing it all the time.
Speaking from a long line of cut-ups, I’d give the kid a cookie for that.
This is my latest hate. Although there are so many that I hate, this one stands out.
Now, I when I watch a commercial I don’t expect to see any award winning acting or groundbreaking directing, but I do have my limits- Arby’s!
The commercial where the guy relays an order from his phone to the cashier, after the order he say’s “I love you”, presumably to who ever was on the other end of the line, but Arby’s girl mistakenly thinks he is talking to her. Ha-fucking-ha, right? What really gets me though, is that the guy is suppose to be saying “I love you” on the phone, but that is kind of hard to do when the phone is closed and half way back into his pocket. His delivery is wretched too, wooden and forced.
Arby’s is not exactly the cheapest of all fast food places, I think they could have afforded to do at least one more take; I refuse to believe that was the best one.
Arg! That reminds me of another one.
Soccer mom is driving along, every so often checking her kid in the rear view mirror. And then, horrors! The kid has somehow undid the seatbelt and is now roaming free in the back seat! And what does mom do? She panics, and starts swerving the car around into oncoming traffic, screeching tires and brakes, until she finally, somehow manages to pull over to the side of the road and buckle li’l Timmy in more securely.
Y’know, if you notice your kid is not buckled in correctly, wouldn’t it be better to, you know, not panic and crash your fucking car? Your kid is perfectly safe, as long as you DON’T CRASH YOUR FUCKING CAR. Crashing your fucking car is bad, m’kay, especially if li’l Timmy isn’t buckled in. If you just go “Hmmm, li’l Timmy isn’t buckled in. I’ll just pull over as soon as it’s safe, and buckle him in, and continue on my way,” then there’s no reason to worry.
It just pissed me off to see this parent take a situation where the danger has increased by 1% and panic and turn it into a situation where the danger has increase by 5000%. I think they were trying to sell brakes, or insurance, or some crap like that, but all they did is make me angry at this mom, and my anger has lasted years. YEARS.