I remember a car commercial from years ago, showing a car very gracefully sliding around on a hockey rink like a figure skater. I know they were showing how graceful and elegent the car was, but all it told me was that the car can handle itself at all on ice. Come to think of I think another similar commercial just resurfaced. This thread makes me think of the new geico commercials. The ones that start out looking like one of those pointless jeans or hair product commercials but then turn into an insurance commercial.
There’s a bizarre series of ads now for, I think, McDonalds—some crappy fast-food chain, anyway. One spot has a guy showering in the kitchen (I thought he just lived in an old-fashioned railroad flat, like some of my NY friends). Voice-over says, “Showering in the kitchen is one way to save money—another is eating at McDonalds.”
Another spot has an answering machine with abour a dozen roommates’ names on it. “Roommates—one way of saving money. Another is eating at McDonalds.”
Soooo . . . only the truly poor and desperate will lower themselves to eating at McDonalds. “Sigh. It’s either that or scrounge through the Dumpster, I guess . . .”
Around here we have a bunch of commercials for Optimum Voice, which is the VoIP service of Optimum Online, a cable ISP.
They are truly awful. They’re staged to make it seem like the telephone is a brand-new invention, and the guy on the commercial is showing you how to use it. All the while, he’s speaking in this horribly exaggerated instructor’s voice, pausing before each new term and over-enunciating them as if all the viewers were retarded.
“This is a “telephone”. To use one, you need a “phone jack”. Funny name, isn’t it? But if you have one, you’re in business.”
“What if we want to call “Ramon”, in Costa Rica? Surely that’s too far. But with the new “telephone”, all you have to do is…”
They don’t say anything about the advantages of VoIP, or their service in particular. All they do is blather on about how wonderful the telephone is, and tell you how to use it. They’ve only been around for a century or so, we get it already!
We’ll have to agree to disagree on that one. I hate that commercial so much, that if I ever actually needed the medicine I’d go to great lengths to get an alternative (different drug, generic, whatever) just so I wouldn’t be supporting them. They TORTURE us mercilessly.
This thread is making me feel very out of place, because I understand – and even endorse – many of these concepts you are writing off as stupid.
The Optimum Voice commercial is explaining that the new-fangled scary concept of getting rid of your phone and going with the cable company will not be a problem, because it works exactly the same as if you stayed with the phone company. If I made the commercial, I would have emphasized – or at least mentioned – the 911 deal. (Unless, of course, they haven’t worked out all the kinks yet, which is what I suspect is the reason there is no mention of it.)
Regarding the Pepsi/Coke commercials, it is well known that #1 never mentions #2, whereas #2 will almost invariably mention #1. Any taste test, comparison, or ridicule of a competitor is always coming from #2. Miller vs Bud? That’s a Miller commercial. Coke vs Pepsi? Pepsi commercial every time. Who compared flame broiling to frying? #2, Burger King. That commercial annoys me as well, though. I think the message is that Coke is frantically throwing countless new ideas at the wall to see if one will finally stick and become more popular than Pepsi. The problem is that Coke is already more popular than Pepsi, so it doesn’t make any sense.
Sloppy eating is a sign that the food is just so damn good that you can’t eat it in less than a brutish manner. Gross, yes, but gets the point across nicely. Nobody lets gross food spill all over themselves.
Live animals? I see a chicken and I think “yummy”. Ditto with cows. People who are skeeved out by the thought that meat comes from animals should probably listen to their inner compass and become vegetarian proper. Us meat eaters, in general, are very comfortable with the concept of meat being animal flesh. (That’s what makes it good.)
The McDonald’s ads are kinda funny, IMO. All they point out is that you can eat for little money. Where is the hate for Taco Bell and their “we’re cheap” marketing strategy? I guess it’s only bad when McDonald’s uses that tact.
Ugh.
Enjoy commercials while you can. We’re not far away from DVR taking over, and with FFWD involved, commercials will soon be replaced by ever-present logos in the corners of the screen. Think about how annoying the promos that take up screen space and make noise during a program are. That will likely be how all television advertising works in the future.
It’s even worse. It’s “Eat chikin,” with a backwards “K.”
Almost all of them.
There were these Subway commercials on a while ago that showed a Subway sandwich overflowing with colorful fresh vegetables next to a Big Mac while Jared told us how a Big Mac had X times as much fat and Y times as many calories as a delicious, fresh, made-to-order Subway sandwich.
I will totally agree that the Subway sandwich looks bigger and better than the Big Mac, and their nutritional argument was 100% sound, but that commercial always left me thinking, “My God, I would kill for a Big Mac right about now.” I guess that just goes to show that Ronald McDonald has his white-gloved hands wrapped tightly around my brainstem. (Lucky for me, MacDonalds is 'way over on the other side of town, and I haven’t had a Big Mac in about 10 years, FWIW, but still . . . )
The Brick furniture stores periodically hold a “midnight madness” sale. The ads promoting it show footage of how packed their stores get during this sale while the voice-over tells the viewer about the sale. The store is so congested that the people can only walk at a snail’s pace; they don’t look particularly impressed with the furniture, either. It’s as if they’re saying: “Come to the sale! Fight the crowds! Be part of the herd!”. Ugh.
…“If you can find a better car… buy it.”
Thanks for the advice Lee… I think I will.
Those darn commercials for the Toyota Matrix. “It just passed me… He’s driving a silver… I don’t know what!”
It’s a station wagon, you morons.
Thanks to the advertisment, I almost didn’t buy one. Great car. I use it to eat BMWs on the highway. The other day I surprised the heck out of a Kawasai Ninja by staying on his tail to 130 MPH.
Also, I can fit thirteen monitors in it, in boxes.
Yeah, this commercial bugs me for all of the above.
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Pepsi makes just as many varieties of cola as Coke
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And they do it after Coke does it
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Yet they criticize Coke for doing it, all the while giving Coke and its various varieties & logos a bunch of free air time
Oh… kay. 
You’re scaring me.
My husband steadfastedly refused to look at Mazdas as our next car based solely on their Zub-Zub kid. (He later relented after a good friend told him how great the Mazda they tried performed. I think he was very relieved when I test-drove a Mazda and it was not one bit better than a similar Toyota.) I’m trying to think if I have any of these; probably. I’m more likely to just yell something at the tv, though - “You just made that up! How stupid do you think we are?”
Those “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin” commercials with Mr. Whipple that were first broadcast in the '60’s and lasted almost to the '90’s are so offensively stupid that I have* never ever * bought Charmin and never will.
“There is no Japanese word for pickup truck” – Chevy truck ad
This commercial tells me two things:
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Chevy’s marketing dept. actually thinks I’m stupid enough to believe that.
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Trucks by Japanese manufacturers are so much better than Chevy’s (which seems to be borne out by industry reviewers) that they have to resort to subtle racism to compete.
I know what trucks are at the top of my list to look at next time I need to buy.
Almost all the Pepsi ads annoy the hell out of me. It seems thaey fall into two pathetic categories: trying to be unbearbaly hip and cool, or two trying desperately to call out Coke in ways that no one believes. I don’t doubt some people coose Pepsi over coke, but their ads always make it seem like it is always the case.
That reminds of that ridiculous anti-drug spot from the 80s with the egg in the frying pan, and the voiceover saying “This is drugs. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?” Apparently the geniuses that produced that ad didn’t know that, at least in mid-80s pothead slang, getting “fried” was good thing!
I associate Mountain Dew with the ages of 11 to 15 or so. I’m 17 now and I still drink it pretty frequently, but I don’t think of the Dew as X-TREME or “adult” in any way, despite the ads. If anything, I would say Coke or anything the same color as Coke is more “adult.”
I give up, what’s the Japanese word for “pickup truck”? I can’t think of one.
…ummm… Well, they quite possibly did know… And if you’re doing an ANTI-drug ad… You probably realize that people who USE drugs think drugs in general are a good thing… So the point of the ad is “This is is your brain, a nice calm egg… this is your brain freaking out, broken and getting fried… Does that look like something you want to do to your brain?”