Oh, and Mikey.
(No. Not THAT Mikey)
Here in Cleveland we have a pitchman for home replacement windows. His typical commercial features the usual beautiful babes, while he fills us in on his energy saving windows. His final line is the one that makes me want to climb through the TV and choke the life outta the guy:
“I’m gonna save you a l-o-o-o-o-o-o-tta money!”
:mad: ARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! :mad:
Commercials I hate… hmm…
How about those Amnesty ones on the radio? Now I am not complaining about the group… they do good work and are trying to change the world. But I do not see how a commercial about a man with his head up his ass is going to help anyone? It goes on about how this guy has a full head of brown hair and pretty eyes and such but no one ever sees it because he has his head up his ass. Basically they are saying anyone who doesn’t help them, by association, also has their head up their butt.
Then there are those really dumb Ranier Beer commercials (Ranier Rainbeer!) which basically take sound bites of porn and voiceover certain parts for their commercial… such as…
[commercial]
Woman: Honey I’m so glad you decided to come up to the cabin with me and the girls.
Man: No problem honey I wasn’t doing anything else.
Woman: Your going to love this weekend. I told them all about your big [voiceover] cooler of mountain fresh Ranier beer [/voiceover] and they can’t wait to meet you.
[/commercial]
God… if I wanted stuff like that I’d go to the adult store then to the liquor store and come home to drink beer and watch porn!
When I hear these I just want to scream and tear my ears off!
There are too many to mention, but one that has earned wrath in my house is The Union Plumbers. I don’t know if this is a nationwide campaign, or only in the Bay Area, but it’s played constantly during Giants games. The Union Plumbers are obviously at a ballgame, comparing themselves to a ballplayer, and say “We’h just a cwuple’a UNION PLUMMAS!” in these ridiculous accents that make them sound like rejects from the Sopranos. Also, they say “He had a great training camp!” Baseball players have spring training, training camp is for football! Couldn’t they have done a wee bit of research before playing the ad a thousand times a day for baseball fans?
Baseball games bring out some weird commercials. Best is the one Mike Krukow, former Giants and Cubs pitcher, and current Giants color guy, does for aluminum siding. Krukow yells “Aluminum siding! Where would we be without it?!?!?!” It’s so pleasantly surreal.
Oops, forgot to mention that those are radio commercials. The only amusing TV commercials are for ESPN and Jack in the Box. You can assume I absolutely hate all the rest.
Oy, thought of another one. It’s one of the unavoidable ones for the local technical college, who evidently have bought up 23hrs per day of commercial time. Its opening salvo is a guy down in the corner of the screen saying, “What is ‘I.T.’? Is it a drink? Ha-ha, NO! It’s Information Technology!” Blah, blah, blah, go to college here, etc. Behind him is a huge laptop screen displaying a cup of coffee being filled.
Now, I don’t mean to go off on a rant here (especially whilst channelling Dennis Miller), but if you are going to draw a comparison between a computer term and a cup of coffee, wouldn’t you say something like “What is java?” On the other hand, if you want a beverage that superficially resembles the term “I.T.”, wouldn’t you have a glass of iced tea? Despite that and the fact that he’s on my TV about a thousand times a day, I refuse to make the gratuitous slam that he resembles Bob Costas coming off an afternoon of chasing parked cars. I would, but I’m not like that. But if I were, I would. He’s that annoying.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Dragonblink *
Am I the only one who sees the “College Girls Gone Wild” video commercial four THOUSAND times a night? The one that starts off with an Adult Material Not Suitable For Children disclaimer (as opposed to the adult material that IS suitable for children)? I hated that ad the first time I saw it and it’s just gotten more irritating through repetition. Honestly, if I wanted a video tape of girls flashing the camera I’d go to my group of community college buds with a camera and say “Hey, everyone flash me!”
I HATE that commercial. These sorts of things need to stop. And what the hell is up with those chicks? When I get drunk I’m not overwhelmed with an urge to scream “woooooooooo!” and take off my shirt. How did those “women” even get accepted into college? By taking off their shirts and screaming wooooooooo?
I also suspect these sorts of videos can only encourage the sort of rare idiot that makes hissing noises or kissy sounds in the direction of strange women. Or encourage the sort of freak that starts whispering “you are so sexy, girl” over and over at a person as they wait to cross the straight.
And if these students really were just drunk and having a good time, and not put up to it by the porno producers behind the videos, how do they feel when they see themselves drunk, naked, moving in a clumsy way (not a sexy way-they all look like they have motor skills impairment)?
There are commercials on the radio here in Baltimore for some dentist. They start off with this horrible sound and then the dentist says, “That’s what you sound like, but I can help.” Then it plays the horrible teeth grinding sound again, and he starts talking about how he helped some guy who’d been banished from his bedroom because of teeth-grinding. Then it plays the horrible sound again.
There was a tv ad a few years ago where a woman was getting ready for work, but her kids wanted to go to the beach. She said that she had an important appointment with a client, and one of the kids said, “Mommy, when can I be a client.” So she skips work, goes to the beach, and uses a cell phone to talk to her client. “Girls just wanna have fun” plays while they go to the beach. I hate this commercial. It’s sexist and stupid.
I do like the Britney commercial though. The http://www.onion.com did an article this week about a guy who wishes the long form of his favorite commercial played more often. I feel that way about the Britney ad.
oops, that should be http://www.theonion.com
Are you referring to the Shane Company? Diamonds and jewelry and the like? “Hi, I’m Tom Shane…?” Yeah, those are annoying.
Drug commercials where everything is vague and non-specific except for the 37 listed ways this drug can harm/kill you (Lipotor comes to mind, as well as that “purple pill” commercial (Noxium?).)
Mann Slaughter: Yes!
I see that one all the time!
Leisuretime Warehouse gets me too…
I don’t watch too much TV, and I usually try to zone out during commercials to avoid being brainwashed. The one I have to say I hate above all is this terrible local used-car lot ad with a jingle so obnoxious I want to fire-bomb the place for it’s crimes against humanity.
Also, those idiotic commercials about that polar ice gum, or whatever it’s called. You know the ones; a couple guys are standing around and then one of them shows off a piece of their anatomy covered with polar bear fur. What the hell? There isn’t even a freakin’ punchline!
Any Skittles ad: Are they written by Tim Burton or what?
Aallllllll those commercials out nowadays plugging these - what I can only call experimental drugs. The ones that say you’ll feel better after taking them, but you might die from it? Are the guys at the FDA hung over and putting their stamp of approval on anything?
You say that like it’s a bad thing. 
Hey Netbrian-
I just went to visit my parents in Roswell GA after having
moved away 10 years ago. I had mercifully forgotten ALL
ABOUT the Tom Shang ads. What an unpleasant blast from
the past! How has someone not put a hit out
on this guy by now? NEVER in my life have I hated an
ad sequence more. Except that singing bellybutton crap.
YUCK. I want to copy this whole thread and send it to that
company. Problem is I have no idea what those damn
bellybuttons are selling.
The ones that are sooo effing stupid I almost laugh is the Mentos commercials. They have some weak-assed scene where no logic is followed and then give you a big smile and a thumbs up. Me thinks the thumb is up their ass.
Another is that silly Shatner fool singing on the priceline.com stage. What right does that lightweight piece of space crap have to act pompous?
Finally, I would knock that battery off headBob Conrad’s shoulder right into a cattle prod and run it far enough up his butt to give the gerbil company.
Any of the “As Seen on TV” brand of commercials. Of COURSE, they’re “As Seen on TV”
Any advertisement for a CD collection of “hits”. What they really mean is… songs we couldn’t give away in the K-Mart bargain bin.
Any psychic-hotline commercial. It’s astounding that there are people dumb enough to succumb to this form of advertising.
Any sex-hotline commercial. Heck, I could have someone killed for $4.99 a minute.
All car commercials. Every one. When was the last time anyone bought a car based on a car commercial? The deals they pretend to offer depend on your ability to read 80 lines of fine print at resolutions that would cause an amoeba to squint.
Any of those vague pharmaceutical commercials for a magical pill that will change your life. The narrator then proceeds to list all of the dire side-effects from this pill: skin failure (props to Dr. Nick), liver failure, explosive diarrhea, uncontrollable urination, sudden falling down-syndrome, death. No thanks, I’d rather be a depressed, alcoholic loner who’s allergic pollen.
That riddler-wannabe who’s trying to sell me free information about governmet programs that only nazi lesbian eskimos would qualify for. Hey, buddy! Ever hear of Pueblo, Colorado?
By the way, that belly-button commrecial gives me the creeps. Overall, those Gap commercials are weird enough that I don’t mind them at all, until I’ve seen them about 100 times.
…all the Gap and Old Navy commercials. can we say stupid??? Very good, I knew you could.
My Bitching of the day.
Any commercial by Gateway Toyota of Toms River N.J. makes me change radio stations or turn off the radio. It always has a shouty yelling guy who sounds like he is simultaneously doing shots of sulfuric acid, while trying to excrete all of the broken glass he ate the day before. That and the issue that I became aware of when I was in small claims court that day, has tarnished them permanently.
That evil/overexcited/obnoxious guy who did Toyota commercials in the late eighties. He’s back, and I can’t stand him. I’m sure if I met him in a social situation where he wasn’t on a combination of crack, methadone, heroin, LSD, BHT, and slimjims, I’d probably like him as a person, but his commercial persona- Echh! I will probably never buy a Toyota because of his commercials, I imagine they are nice cars but I’d hate to contribute to a company that advertizes like that.
Any herbal supplement or drug that makes me happier/less anxious/hornier/a better lover/hairier/less hairy/thinnner/stronger/sleepier/awaker.
That Miss Cleo.
Dell commercials. Thet’re good computers. Why have a stoner say so?
Diet program commercials, debt consolidation commercials, bad credit solution commercials, condom commercials, paternity determination and heroin detox billboards (popular in the Philly area). I don’t have any serious bad habits, credit problems, debt, and I’m thin and celibate. I feel so out of place sometimes.
I hate that Sprite commercial with the big Redman puppet or whatever and the kids giving out the Sprite cards…
I like some of the ones people mentioned with songs though…
All I wanna do is to thank you
even though I don’t know who you are
you let me change lanes
while I was driving in my car
my 2 cents:
most of my top 10 hated are already listed, but these need repeating.
carls jr. (always gets muted or changed)
girls gone wild (we got the point after the first 100,000 viewings)
the bear shitting in the woods one (that is creepy)
the overly long hair removal products ads (why are these on during formula one on speedvision? are they targeting a specific audience…?)
oxy-clean (what is this shit?)
and…
the electocution device being hawked by some slut that is supposed to slim your abs with no exercise ( you know the one, it starts off with poor editing and bad voice over “Hi, I’m Jacinta, a personal fitness traineer…”. is that what you call it nowadays? my wife and i figure she is some golddigging whore/frustrated actress with a sugar daddy who says “sure, i’ll put you on TV”. man, this commercial is LAME!!