Fogarty probably isn’t getting much (if any) money from the commercial, since Fantasy Records owns the rights to his CCR songs. The weirdest result of this situation was the mid-1980’s lawsuit in which Fantasy Records sued John Fogarty on the grounds that Fogarty’s solo hit song “Old Man Down the Road” plagiarized Fogarty’s CCR-era hit “Run Through the Jungle.” Fantasy lost the suit.
Subway’s Jared… And his army, may they in one year, be mocked in the streets. What am I talking about? I’m sure they are now… Hey, look, its Jared from those Subway commercials!!! ((runs over and beats Jared on head with blunt Sub)) Go away you wretch!
Any of the fast cash places… Specifically, for me, The Check into Cash. Need money before payday? ((screams)) Stop trying to shove that up there!!! Its an exit only!!
I second the DeBeers ads. Very sleek, great production values, but so slimy. “Hey guys! All women care about is how much money you spend on a rock. Buy one today and get laid tonight.”
I actually buy jewelery for women I date. But I go out of my way to avoid diamonds. The only reason they are expensive is the DeBeers monopoly, and I think emeralds look better anyway.
I really, really hate the one where the little girl and her father are buying rabbits at the pet store, and it takes so long for his check to be verified that the rabbits reproduce times 1000 while they stand there.
I second the commercials for any prescription medication. Especially the new pill you can take for yeast infections, so you can “kiss those messy creams goodbye.” Yeah, thanks for that image.
Aboslute Worst, Stomach-Churning, Gag-Inducing Commercial That Makes You Want to Scratch Your Eyes Out to Relieve the Ungodly Pain: “HEY YOU!!! DO YOU WANT FREE MONEY FROM GOVERNMENT PROGRAMS?! YOU CAN GET THE MONEY!!!” I don’t care how against the second amendment you are, that man is living proof that owning guns is worth something; maybe not necessarily to hunt him down and kill him (although many times I’d like to do just that), but at least to shoot the television. Repeatedly.
However, I do not wish that commercial had never existed because then Andy Dick wouldn’t have done his parody of it. “Off the coast of China, there’s a whole island that’ll have SEX with YOU - FOR FREE!!!”
-
Carl’s Jr. They’ve stopped drooling and slobbering crap all over themselves, but they’re still disgusting.
-
The entire series of Holiday Inn commercials, with the slacker being humiliated by his family (“whaddya think this is? A Holiday Inn!?? hooohahhhhaahaa…”). I feel sorry for the poor schlub.
-
The urge to herbal campaign. We get it. Orgasmic /organic. Ha ha. (They even had the gall to have the man with the premature organic experience. God, they’re clever.)
However, I pretty much love all Jack in the Box commercials, I enjoyed the wassup series (and loved the yuppie “Chad! Pick up the cordless!”), and even kinda like the ‘zoom zoom’ song.
I can’t stand the commercial with one of Ronald Reagan’s sons holding a county-by-county map of the results of the election. “This is the map the media doesn’t want you to see”, he says. Sure. This is the same map that was displayed every day for a month on every network and cable news show in the country, on the home page of every news web site, and was shown in every news magazine and newspaper. It’s still very easy to find in the internet with any search engine.
He goes on to say that the map proves that Bush won “big time”. He seems to think that elections are decided by who wins the most counties. I guess the popular perception that Bush barely eeked out a win is proof of the media conspiracy.
This commercial is new, I think. I’ve only seen it three or four times, thus setting a new record for annoying me the fastest (except for Steve the Dell guy…ugh…).
Anyway, it’s a Clairol commercial that just has two women screaming in a restaurant, motioning at their hair and pulling bottles of shampoo out of their purses. At the very end, a third woman joins in, screaming and pointing at her hair. I guess they’re ecstatic cries of joy, but I could be wrong.
And they could at least have the decency to make the screams sound realistic. Oh, no. They’re the obviously fake variety on the exact pitch that rubs against my eardrums like fingernails on a chalkboard.
This is the only commercial that I will go out of my way to mute. I will even watch the Dell commercials hours at a time as long as I don’t have to see this evil piece of marketing.
jessica
Someone mentioned “Check Into Cash” commercials… a few years ago here in my town there was a commercial where a guy is looking for some cash and is cleaning out his garage. He discovers a lamp and rubs it, and out pops a genie to grant him a wish. The guy wishes for money, so the genie TAKES HIM TO TITLE LOAN.
Wow what a great genie! If I’d wished for a beautiful woman, would you have taken me to a whorehouse?
Barq’s commercials… they’re back… the same ones… may God have mercy on us all… (well, me anyways) “Johnnie?! Johnnie?!” [tongue flipping in and out like a snake while pouring] - makes me feel like ripping that stupid-looking chin patch off with a pair of vise-grips.
The microwave pizza commercial (don’t even remember what company it’s for). “dude, no way - yes way - uh ahh - uh huh… alright it worked, don’t act like you invented it” If that kid said that to me, he’d be wearing the pizza.
There’s this commercial about learning how to trade in foreign currencies…“limit your risks while letting your profits soar!!” - Bullshit; can we say contradiction? The content ain’t that bad, I just glaze over when I see investment commercials anyways - the real annoying part is that the guy who’s doing the announcing has a very dumb sounding lisp: “Invesfffp in ffforeign currenthies!, get thhhe charths, thhhe grafffths, …” AARGH!!, let ME tell YOU what to get: an announcer who doesn’t need speech-therapy!!
Sometimes I wonder how some commercials even get thought up, let alone put on the air… I mean the people who make 'em spend years in school learning how do make succesful commercials, and companies spend millions on these peices of crap; makes no sense to me - don’t they ever review these things before they use them? who does the reviewing? Probably a bunch of chimps who spend their time probing each other with their thumbs instead of looking at the screen.
Was I the only one who understood this ad as a parody of what Budwiser’s ad agency thinks Heineken would do if they created the Wassup series? (Probably payback for Heineken poking fun at Wassup in some of their ads)
Speaking of Heineken…I love theirs, with the couple having a romantic dinner, and the man switches their beers 'cuz his is shorter. His smile after the switch just cracks me up every time.
I usually don’t let commercials affect my buying decisions one way or the other. However, I wouldn’t eat a Carl’s Jr. if they were giving them away, just because of their commercials. Who’s bright idea to record someone chewing their food, loudly.
Carl’s Jr commercials always remind me of MST3K–whenever a slob character in one of their movies is shown eating, we’re treated by the 'bots to a chorus of smack gulp smack belch smack fart gulp smack…
I add my vote to the Epil-Stop ads. Can anyone tell me why it’s called Epil-Stop AND Spray? That is SOOO stupid.
The bear taking a dump in the woods and the talking TP ads–I hate 'em. They really gross me out.
And I can’t stand the ones for that Raisin Bran Crunch (or whatever it’s called) where you see guys who look like they haven’t seen a bar of soap since grade school all chowing down on this cereal. Then it says, “Breakfast is back.” I loathe it–those guys make me want to GAG.
All the Tampax commercials, but especially the one where the marching band is out on the football field and you see the drill team dancing, with lots of pelvic thrusts and close-up crotch shots to demonstrate that their product is not bulky and doesn’t leak. Absolutely sickening.
The one from Ex-Lax where the one sister snoops in the other’s medicine cabinet and notices that she has switched laxatives. Sister #2 answers that she did so because one is all chemicals and Ex-Lax works “with natural senna.” Sis #1 says something like, “Very effectively, too,” to which Sis #2 replies, with a little knowing smile, “You tried it!” In other word Sis #1 is telling Sis #2, “You should just SEE the size of that rope I coiled up in your bathroom this morning!” This is REALLY something I’d rather not know! 
Yeah, but you have to admit, this would have made a hell of a better line than what they used. I’d buy their product if they used more rope coiling metaphors.
I hate the one for previcide, the one with at heartburn hotel…uuugggggg. The adds for ESPN’s 2 minute drill, clips of people being asked sports related questions and the contestant looking like he is trying to save the world or something…“who had the highest era in 1952 on the american leage?” and the answer is…WHO CARES!!!
any of the feed the children comercials, lets send our money overseas (after lining our pockets) to feed these kids who live in the desert (or is that dessert? LOL) I send my money to CONDEMS FOR THE CONDEMLESS, stops that problem before it begins.
The ads - both of them - for the Chevy Avalanche (?), a new SUV/Pick Up thingee. In one two guys are off-roadin’ and passenger asks if they could switch, so driver gets out and switches car from one mode to another. (Couldn’t passenger just slide over? - thanx PlanWife) In the other, chevy guy steals a dollar from some poor shmo on the street - guy, trying to feed parking meter, asks “change for a buck?” so idiot boy changes from SUV to truck (or whatever) and takes parking meter guys dollar.
BTW - if the ad didn’t JUST run, I wouldn’t have known the name of the car.
And from these ads I’m supposed to WANT one of these things?
There’s a late-night ad for a collection of contemporary-Christian music that really gives me the creeps. All of the songs (and I do mean all) have this incredibly vacuous, completely emotionless choir.
“Lord, I love to sing your praises…” They sure as hell don’t sound like it. They have all the soul of a mid-80s Bank of Manhatten commercial.
The Holiday Inn Express commercials - all of them. The one I’ve seen lately has a bunch of suits in a boardroom, waiting for some dumba** to make his presentation that he’s obviously unprepared for, and he blurts out “Well, I stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last nigth!”. So we’re supposed to want to stay at a place that caters to morons? Not to mention that the name “Express” would tend to suggest something faster, perhaps -I envision Holiday Inn Express as sort of a chain of pay-by-the-hour no-tell motels.