The Target woman skeeves me so much, with her pinched, tortured face, too-thin body and manic movements. It’s traumatizing. Give the woman her medication and a cookie for og’s sake.
The one commercial I’ve not seen mentioned is for adult gummy vitamins. Most of it is just run of the mill crap, but there’s one scene where this infuriatingly vacuous turd of a human is shown chewing on his gummies, demonstrating less intelligence than a lobotomized cow with it’s cud.
My hatred of it is shockingly visceral and I finally understand the term ‘stabby.’ I can’t think of it for more than a few seconds or I start to lose the power of speech and look around for a convenient knife. Or atom bomb. Gaaahhhh!
Me, too, especially anything with the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies, and anything that mangles the lyrics of the song to make it a shill for the product or service.
That DiGiorno pizza ad where the extremely nerdy white kid tapes over the brand name on the box and writes “PIZZA” on his shirt with a Sharpie, all so he can crash a party–I really hate this one.
One–no matter how good the pizza is, NO ONE invites the delivery person in to a party. He delivers the pizza, gets the money, and LEAVES.
Two–assuming that pizza WAS ordered, you’d never fool anyone by showing up to a house filled with hungry people with only ONE pizza, and a small one at that. I can’t help imagining them cutting up the pie into about 50 half inch squares.
I hate all the commercials for rice krispies showing the moms/grandmoms and little kids making rice krispie treats. The kids are always handling the treats as much as possible, sticking some in their mouths, handling the treats some more, sometimes they feed some to mom and their hands go back in the mix. They stick their fingers on one and say “this if for daddy”, well I hope daddy enjoys the diarrhea.
Little kids are germ carriers and not known for washing their hands prior to handling food or after picking their noses. They simply do not understand cross-contamination and foodborne illness. These commercials make me nauseous and I may never eat rice krispie treats again…
Very lame commercial. Why bother with DiGiorno for that? Just call the real delivery guy, intercept him at the door, then get in with that pizza. It makes no sense to spend time at home baking your own pizza in this scenerio, assuming that even would work to get you in.
Anyway, the commercials I hate the most are anything Hallmark has run for the last year or so.
[Thing] is NOT for [whatever it is that thing actually totally is for]…
it’s for [incredibly sappy version of whatever it is that thing is for]
GRRRR…
There’s also some laundry detergent commercial with some annoying lady doing the voice over with something like.
We all want cleaner clothes
We ALL want fewer chemicals
Speak for yourself, bitch. Chemicals are not some automatically bad thing that should be feared like some sort of bogeyman.
Thing is, it is a product I would probably use otherwise, I mean, I do prefer to use detergents without stuff like dyes and perfumes in it, but you know what, that only means there are some specific chemicals I don’t want in there. Hypothetically, if they have to add 5 other chemicals in there to take the one stinky one I don’t like out, I’m okay with that. I don’t give the slightest shit at how many chemicals there are, just which specific chemicals there are.
It looks like a restaurant or bar or something, and only the two cartoon women are wearing the bathing suits. It’s a weird animation. I think the music is the most annoying part.
Hell, have the pizza delivered to your own house, show up and say “I brought pizza!” You don’t have to be the pizza guy to be the guy that brought pizza. Especially if you bring a couple larges, no one lame ass small.
Virtually all ads drive me up the wall, but some in particular just make me want to strap on heavy boots and stomp on ad executives:
This damn Binyon’s ad where the dude is trying on glasses and a little cartoon dude says “Whoa. I’m just gonna put this out there, but those just took you from Stephan… To StePHAN!” and then goes on to say that it’s all about “the emPHAsis”. Goddamn thing just came on as I was writing this, too. I HATE with the intensity of unstable nuclear piles ads that warp pronunciations and/or perfectly innocent grammar to sell me things I don’t want.
Ads that use perfectly fine music that I like and have in several formats and then use it in some crass way that is completely inappropriate to the music’s theme or lyrics. Microsoft, for instance, has a (actually rather catchy) cover of The Pixies’ Where is My Mind shilling the Kinect. To be honest, I’m trying to work out my feelings on this one, because it IS a nice cover, but… WHY??? You’re a big grown up company, surely you can afford to have someone write original music for your ads.
Victoria’s Secret. What the fuck happened there? I seem to recall them being almost classy at one point. Now it’s just Angel This and Angel That and it all looks sleazy and has anyone else noticed they don’t have any Asian models? Irritates me, that.
There’s a Folger’s commercial running right now that is supposed to feature a brother returning home from a trip to Africa just in time for Christmas morning. He’s greeted at the door by his sister…except their interactions give off a very strong girlfriend/boyfriend vibe (to me, anyway). That commercial always creeps me out.
You’re not imagining things, I get weirded out every time I see that commercial. She is totally making bedroom eyes at him; and he gets flustered! Good thing their parents walk in right before they make out…
I have a new one I hate. It’s for Totino’s Pizza Rolls, and it has these two idiot teenage boys calling their mom on her cell phone as they stare into the fridge:
“MOM! We’re dying!”
“You’re not dying. You’re just hungry. Have some Totino’s Pizza Rolls.”
“We don’t HAVE any!” (mind you, the big bag is RIGHT in front of them).
And then Mom has to guide these useless kids to look up and to the left (the perspective of the camera is from inside the fridge) so they can manage to feed themselves.
Yeah. You do NOT taunt Santa, bitch. He does keep a list, you know.
Another Christmas commercial that really makes me cringe is for WalMart and their price match guarantee. (It’s one of the series of the shopper wishing for some great store offer while the WalMart employee is trying to turn their attention to the banner that touts the very offer the shopper is whining about.) Well, the lady going, “Ringading, ringading, ringading, ring me up!” and “This is going to be a great Christmas!” just has the kind of voice that makes baby elves weep with pain. I mean, I hated the layaway one with the Mom who said “Awesooooome!” but this is a billion times worse.