“Some-bod-dy left the gate o-o-o-pen…”
Yeah, clever the first time. Really irritating the 8,457th time.
And, he uses his hands to do it!
That annoying piglet going on adventures and constantly screaming, “Wheeeee!”
The commercial about lung cancer from smoking. There’s many versions of this commercial. It has long, hacking coughs. It sounds like someones coughing their brains out. I hear gasping for air, coughing, so I put it on mute when this crap comes on.
It looks like a sideways vagina with teeth.
“I have a structured settlement and I need cash now!”
Fuck off and die.
There’s a commercial for either the Sleep Number or Tempurpedic bed (I can’t remember which).
Anyway, there’s a young couple featured talking about it, but I swear to Og they look exactly like a brother and sister. Squeeks me right out, every time.
The one for that alarm system that has a video relay. Specifically the one where the stereotypical “bad guys” are scoping out the house in broad daylight and the one guy rings the doorbell. The homeowner is on vacation or something but can see the video on his iPhone, and he goes “CAN I HELP YOU?!” in a super-bitchy voice, which of course scares off the bad guys.
The homeowner seems like such a dick.
You’re just jealous because you don’t have a structured settlement. No worries, I don’t either. 
There are so many…,
The “Allianz” commericials with the snobby college pronunciation of “ollie-onz”, and that stupid slogan about one thing to know about it is that it’s more than one thing.
The Bayer aspirin commercial where a guy complains to a flight attendant about a headache, and she gives him as aspirin, and he says, “No, I’m not having a heart attack. I’m having a headache”. As if he never heard of using aspirin for a headache.
A question about that Pizza Rolls commercial where the kid is looking in the freezer and complaining to his mom on the phone: what is that humanoid- looking thing standing beside him?
Someone is advertising an app to tell you if your garage door is open and allow you to close it remotely. Is that really a big problem? Maybe I’m just a creature of habit, but as I’m pulling down the driveway, I always check to see that the door is down or coming down. And I don’t recall ever wondering, from miles away, if I’d closed the door… or left the iron on, or left the water running, or the oven on…
Not so much a particular commercial as a tendency, at least in my local market, to play a commercial twice in a row or twice in the same break. The first time I saw this, I thought someone goofed, but it’s happened often enough that I’m guessing it’s deliberate. So, in case you didn’t hear me the first time, I’m going to repeat my entire spiel again, right now, so pay attention… :rolleyes:
Do you notice the kid leaves the phone in the freezer when he takes the Pizza Rolls out? That true-to-life depiction of adolescent boydom almost redeems the commercial. Almost.
My latest scorn comes for the Lowes commercial, with the falling paint cans and the tendrils of paint swirling across town. I don’t know, I didn’t hate it at first … but it’s on all. The. Freaking. Time. And the combination of that earwormy tune and the cute little girl in slow motion on the swing with the paint flowing by under her … aaaahhhhh! Please, no more, Lowes!
The best part of that is the scare tactic they use: They show a skunk getting in your garage because you’ve left the door open. But now you can close the door remotely – trapping the skunk in your garage! Just what you had in mind!
“Worried about accidentally leaving your garage door up? We can help! Come down to our laboratory and we’ll give you a case of OCD. You’ll never forget from now on when you quintuple check!”
[hijack]: This item, which is not relevant to this thread, happened to me. I drove, in a downpour, to Adelaide; she lived about 7 miles away. When I got there and parked in her covered carport, she told me I had a nail (actually a long bolt) in one tire, and insisted on calling the Auto Club for me. I shrugged and let her see my card. The guy came and I felt sorry for him having to change a wheel in the pouring rain, when I knew I could do it all by myself.[/hijack]
The A&W commercial where the woman is singing “Take My Breath Away” to the Sirloin Uncle Burger.
Huh? Did you move the car out of the covered carport just so he could change the tire in the pouring rain? That’s kind of a dickish thing to do…
“It’s MY money, I want it NOW!”
No, bitch it ain’t your money. You agreed to a PAYMENT SCHEDULE! Or you won THE LOTTERY! If you had wanted a lump sum, you should have taken it from the lottery commission, or settled your court case for a lesser lump sum. It’s only your money when you get paid, if you want it now, pay through the nose, moron.
Joe
There is some POS exercise equipment that Elizabeth Hasselbeck is hawking on late-night TV called the “3 Minute Abs”. The big claim of this product is that "3 minutes on the 3 minute Abs is equivalent to the calorie-burning effect of 100 sit-ups! :eek:
Except, how long does it actually take to do 100 situps? 2 minutes? Maybe 3? So the “big claim” for this exercise machine is that 3 minutes on it is (at best) equivalent to the calorie-burning effect of 3 minutes without it. You could get the calorie-burning effects of 100 situps in LESS than 3 minutes; if you just did the fuckin’ sit ups.