My GF has a strong objection to the commercials for Swiffer and other like products that seem to be implying that women have some sort of weird intimate relationship with their cleaning implements.
I don’t know what the point of the bitch of a wife AT&T commercial is. It isn’t funny; it reeks of some kind of abuse on the husband. I just feel sorry for the guy and I start wishing for the greenhouse to collapse on wifey. So AT&T, thanks for letting me know my wife will say nasty things about me if I get your plan.
I’m in a good place commercial-wise; nothing bothers me much besides the beer commercials which are pretty much aimed at morons. Everybody already knows what beer to buy. I’m particularly irked with the Corona commercials where douchebags sit around in swimwear doing fuck all. There’s a Budweiser one with the tag line “here we go” said by a variety of annoying people. Ugh.
This! The falcon lady. She stares ahead expressionless. That idiot husband should run very far away. Come on, dude, you can do better than that.
I always want him to instead say something really hideous like, “It’s also a great day for watching the little woman doing some housework!”
A mattress store (I think it’s local, not sure) has bought a LOT of ad time on one of my favorite radio stations. And the owner is always in the commercial. Her voice is incredibly high and annoying, with many irritating features. I think that she writes the commercials, too.
What I don’t get is the lawyers who narrate their own commercials, and who have obviously written the ads. You’d think that a lawyer would know about people who try to do a professional job when they aren’t a member of that profession.
All of them. Except that one with the cute chicks.
I used to bitch about the first run of Swiffer commercials, so I’m amused by the progression.
Original: Mop or broom is replaced by Swiffer and is heartbroken. Tries desperately to regain the love of its owner who continually dismisses its emotions in favor of the Swiffer’s cleaning powers.
Middle: Mop or broom is replaced by Swiffer and placed in some storage area (shed, garage, attic) where it meets up with some other object (box of wigs, etc) that looks vaguely like it and falls in love. Owner gives it somewhat perplexed and slightly disgusted looks and leaves it there.
Today: Bits of debris are heartbroken and lonely but the Swiffer brings love and happiness into their life.
They’ve gone from “Buy a Swiffer and you can crush the emotions and spirit of your current cleaning tools” to “Swiffer brings your house love and happiness!”
Good one!
I’ve got another bitch wife commercial, sorry, I don’t even know what they’re selling. There is a woman standing in her driveway with her husband, saying how they saved money by teaching the five year old to slam dunk. In the background, the little kid leaps up to the basketball hoop and hangs from the rim. Wife says, “Yay, scholarship!” then she and husband just stare at the camera with their Stepford smiles for a moment, then she says, “Go get him, Steve”. Dumb ass Steve scurries to do as he’s told, while Bitch keeps up her creepy eye contact with us.
Good thing Steve was there to rescue the kid. Mom would have let him hang up there all day because she has important staring to do !
Along the same line, there was a commercial where Mom is using her laptop (the product being advertised) in the kitchen and finds a recipe for paella which she decides to make for dinner, then uses the computer to send messages to the family letting them know what they’re having for dinner. Teenaged son messages back, “I don’t know what ‘pie-ella’ is, but I’m not eating it”. The mother’s response? She uses the computer to order a pizza for the brat.
I also saw a commercial where the family is all dressed up to go out for dinner, except for the youngest son who refuses to change out of some weird outfit. So instead of making him get dressed, the family stays home and eats some sort of ready-in-ten-minutes meal.
When I was a kid, we ate whatever Mom fixed for dinner. Not eating it was not an option, nor was complaining about it. And when Dad said change your clothes, we changed them.
There’s a radio commercial that annoys the crap out of me lately. Husband and wife are talking to someone at, I dunno, a backyard barbecue or something, and wife has to do all the talking to the neighbor because all the husband will say is “doublemyspeed.com” really fast. She patiently explains that ever since he visited that site he’s been so impressed that all he can say is “doublemyspeed.com” and he sent out emails to everyone he knows. Then other people show up to the barbecue and are all saying “doublemyspeed.com” really fast 'cause they’re all so impressed. (it’s supposed to speed up your internet connection or something like that.)
My reaction? “Oh noes, I should never go to THAT site because I don’t want to end up sounding like a fucking moron!” :rolleyes:
another ‘notvote’ for the greenhouse bitch. seriously. that woman makes me want to do bodily harm on her. not only do i not understand the thinking behind it, because of my focus on the bitch, i couldn’t even tell you what it is they’re hawking. so not good marketing when the consumer can’t remember the product!
the nationwise commercials. jeebus. that one has me scrambling at ftl speed for either the fast-forward or mute button, dependng on whether or not i’d recorded the tv program it’s embedded in. much hate for those.
more locally, there are two indianapolis market car commercials that also have me running for the remote: ray skillman and andy mohr. those of you from the indy area will know exactly what i’m talking about.
seriously, who told these guys it was a good idea to do their own commercials??? it would have killed them to rent a professional announcer??? their voices have to be the worst i’ve ever heard. deeply-annoying regional accents (i’m guessing one of them hails from somewhere south of the mason/dixon line originally), bad diction, and more. buy a car from these yoyos? hell will freeze over first just because of their voices!
She says that Sundays are only for watching football. What if she should --gasp!-- want him to go to church? (Which is usually scheduled at the same time as football, IIRC.)
Another vote for Greenhouse Bitch.
The one I hate even more than that, though, is the one for some sort of wireless headphones (it plays a lot on the Game Show channel in the late evening, along with the catheter commercials and diabetes-aid commercials–yeah, I watch old people TV while getting ready for bed. Sue me. :D)
Anyway, the point of these headphones is that they’re supposed to block outside sounds so you can watch your TV show in peace. So here’s this dude sitting in a chair blissfully watching his show, while on either side of him two children that they clearly dug up from the Home For The Most Horrible Child “Actors” Ever, yelling at each other back and forth. Their deathless dialog? And I quote:
“Dinosaur!”
“Ball!”
“Dinosaur!”
“Ball!”
Mind you, it gets worse–this is one of those commercials that often seem to play on off channels (I haven’t seen too much of this offense lately on the networks) where they jack up the volume to like twice the volume of the actual show. So the commercial is yelling at you in the first place, and then you have these two moronic monotone children screaming “Dinosaur!” “Ball!” at each other…it’s enough to make you want to pop their little heads off.
“Dinosaur!” “Ball!” has now become the spouse’s and my code for anything loud and inane.
Oh–here’s the commercial. Be warned, it’s really awful.
Nah. The first game doesn’t start until 1 PM (10 AM for you weird west coasters). If not missing the first game is that important, there’s always an earlier mass somewhere.
I for one am really sick of Jennifer Whatsername from American Idol and the weight watchers commercial. But then I hate that style of singing. How many notes can you squeeze out of a one syllable word? I have grown to hate that song now, too.
Nothing new, but I realized what a deep, intense hatred I have for the frickin’ e*trade baby the other day while watching the Yankees game.
I also realized how much I love my TiVo…
My favorite part is where Grandpa is OK with Grandma talking on the phone right next to him b/c he has his headphones on. The cordless phone. I guess she’s just a bitch who refuses to leave the room when she gets a call.
Along those lines there was one for a radio with earpiece that was basically a hearing aid. First they discussed using it to hear better and not turning the TV up. Then they showed a scene of some busybody using it to eavesdrop on the neighbors across the street.
But the best part was when they showed a guy at a football game using it to hear the conversation in the huddle. Uh…I didn’t see a parabolic mic on that thing - I would love for them to explain how you could hear the huddle and not just ten times the volume of noise from everything around you in the stadium.
ETA: Found it
I just remembered another one that makes me stabby - at least one little part. It’s the US Post Office advertising do-your-own-postage-in-the-office service. I have no problem with that. But the ad features a bunch of people talking about why going to the post office is such a pain during work hours. The one I want to kick in the head is the guy who says “There’s nothing worse than standing in line at the post office.”
Nothing?
That’s the worst thing in your life?
Die, you moron!!! :mad:
I hate that commercial!
Thats what a we call a “First World Problem” 
Nothing to do with commercials, but I hate when I’m in line at a shop and the guy in front of me pulls out the credit card for <$5 purchases. Really bro? You don’t keep a couple three dollars on you?
The little brat who refuses to eat the fish sticks out of minced fish (I think that’s how they worded it) and demands ones made out of whole fillets.
Radio: “1-800-CARSFORKIDS…C-A-R-S cars for kids!” AAAAAGH!
Oh it made it into a “clickie” - too funny.