Ok, but that’s a product that was overtaken by events. AIDS just came along and ruined a perfectly stupid product.
“What can brown do for you” seems intentionally designed to make people think of poo or other gross things. And what the hell does poo have to do with shipping?
Sherwin Williams. Their “Cover The Earth” slogan, along with the paint just dumping all over the globe, always brings the word “Superfund” to mind.
It was Carl’s Jr.
It’s four blocks down the alphabet?
The Nicholas Meyer pastiche of the Sherlock Holmes stories, The Seven Percent Solution, had an ad blurb: “Sherlock Holmes and Sigmund Freud: together again for the first time”.
Ouch.
Good book, though.
It’s more the logo that ruins the slogan, but: The 3rd Gear: Business Engineering. I’d wager they forgot to clear this with their engineers.
When the Woolworths chain went out of business in the UK, one of the stores reopened independently, but with the same look and feel - they called it ‘Wellworths’, and it’s a fantastic place, because Woolies is very sorely missed.
But their slogan is “Well worth the money”, which just implies that the prices aren’t really as low as might be expected, but they’re still worth it.
I hate the Sears commercial where the two guys are delivering the refrigerator on time the next day. The “lady of the house” (from what I gather) is all pleased with the next day delivery. Then the pizza boy shows up late and I hate what she says and how she says it. “You’re late. Ugh.” It’s so poorly delivered. It’s trite and hackneyed and annoying. I can’t stand that line.
Any butcher shop that ever used the slogan “Nobody beats our meat”.
I remember my college roommate and I laughing hard at the ridiculous slogan for Mr. Pibb
“Put it in your head!”? Really?
Even better was the extremely mid-90s “xtreme/urban/funky” art on the can. This was the early 2000s.
Some fast-food restaurant here has a billboard with the motto, “Feed Your Game Face!” presumably to attract people on their way to UK football games. It just grosses me out. “Cram our fried greasy muck into your gaping hole!” is what I think when I see it.
How about Denny’s? A good place to sit and eat. And yet it still fails to deliver.
I still don’t get “With a name like Smuckers, it has to be good.” Is it because Smuckers is such a stupid-sounding name, they’d better make up for it with a good product? Why not just change the name?
They made light bulbs, refrigerators and nuclear warheads.
No, it’s still shite.
Kansas’ tourism slogan: Kansas: As Big As You Think!
Which was promptly co-opted after same-sex marriage was voted town to become Kansas: As Bigoted As You Think!
Was it McDonald’s that had a brief flirtation with “I’d hit that” or “I’d hit it,” or some such?
How about the U.S. Army: “An army of one.”
Uh, no thanks. When the action starts, I’d kinda want some guys around me who are on my side.
“Every time you give Milk-Bone…”
You think you’re too big for an indefinite article? Fuck you. Kleenex isn’t that big!
A number of years ago, there was some clothing store of which I forget the name that ran some ads with the tagline, “Uptown quality at downtown prices!”
I guess the ad people were thinking of New York. But this is Chicago. Uptown is slummy now and was even worse back then. Downtown is the realm of the Magnificent Mile shopping district.
So what they were saying was “Thrift store quality at designer boutique prices!”
Pretty damn funny, I thought.
Last time I was in the US, Tyson’s Corner mall in Northern VA had a slogan which I think was “Where the stores are.” If it wasn’t exactly that, it was pretty close.
Really? There are stores in shopping malls now? I would never have guessed.
