Did you grow up being showered with compliments about something specific? Your hair? Your eyes? Your sense of humor? Anything, really…
Then, did they suddenly just STOP being given and wonder why?
I was posting in this thread when this thought came to me.
Ever since I can remember, I have always been told how big my eyes are and how pretty they were. Relatives, teachers, friends, and complete strangers would go out of their way to let me know. However, ever since I moved to Seattle two years ago…nothing, not one comment…not ONE.
I never thought it affected me that much, but it really does. I miss the attention - I miss that specific attention on my eyes. I feel like people don’t really look at me here, or something changed. My eyes couldn’t have changed, and I know its not my glasses because pre-Seattle and I would get comments even when I was wearing them. I’m even wearing contacts now and STILL nothing.
This sort of upsets me and that makes me feel kind of silly and shallow for letting something like that get to me. It also contributes for my own view of myself physically, which is stupid. But not getting that positive reinforcement has made me feel less pretty lately (among other things), and it sucks.
Nothing specific, but in general I used to get hit on or flattered a lot by men while I was out and about. Since I’ve had the kiddos I get jack. I haven’t changed much, so likely it’s the kids presence that puts guys off but it still stings. I never really took those comments sereiously, but they were still a nice ego boost.
I’m fascinated with women with beautiful eyes. The compliments you received (the other thread) made me feel I want to meet you. What about Thursday, 8-p.m., corner Main & Southwest ? My flight arrives at 6 p.m.
And I swear I’ll keep telling you how beautiful your eyes are.
Jeez, I would never hit on a woman out with her kids. Not because I was “put off”, but out of respect. Of course once I saw this really attractive, young woman with her 12 year old kid and said “wow, you must have had her when you were 14”. She said “I did.” That put a damper on the conversation.
I used to get compliments on my eyes. I have even had people ask me if they were colored contacts. There was even an old guy at my church who called me blue eyes. But I don’t think anyone has mentioned them (well, except my wife) in the last couple of years.
I used to get a lot of compliments on my hair color. It’s red and gets pretty lighter streaks in the summer. People would stop me in the street and ask me where I had it colored and be so disappointed when I told them it was natural and old ladies woudl tell me all about how their hair color had been the exact same color when they were younger.
But I don’t get that anymore. I don’t think my color’s changed, I just think I must give off a vibe that says “don’t talk to me” or something.
For me it was always my writing ability. In elementary school I just couldn’t understand why the teachers fawned over my writing, and it embarassed me. It continued up through high school, with teachers saying “I can’t wait to read your first novel” to me over and over, but now that I’ve reached college it’s (thankfully) stopped. I like the constructive criticism I’m actually getting now, and the occasional praise means more to me than compliments did before.
I can’t really think of anything physically I’ve stopped getting compliments on though. I don’t think anything about me really stands out to get compliments like others in theis thread are speaking of.
I used to always get complements on my hair. It’s very long, and used to be so shiny that you could almost see your face in it. But I moved someplace with nasty municipal water, and it’s not shiny anymore. sigh