This thread and my own near-obsessive behavior with a certain game that I will not name has prompted me to start a thread on the matter. How much is too much? Is it weird to have a computer game be your primary hobby? How does one differentiate between a hobby you really like and spend a lot of time at versus an obsession?
Gaming is different than a lot of traditional hobbies - not many hobbies can be done just about whenever you want in the comfort of your own home. I think that ease of access makes people go overboard at times. However, I also think that a lot of people just think gaming is “weird” and as such, think that people who spend too much time at it are strange. I know that I tend not to discuss it much with people other than close relatives and friends.
Here’s my own unofficial “rules”:
pretty much if something real life comes up, like the hubby wants to go out/watch a movie/someone calls/etc. I go ahead and do that. The one situation where I might not is when I have something game related planned - ie, I told Jane my in-game friend that I’d help her complete quest X at 3:00 on Saturday, or my guild is going to dungeon Y on Thursday night and I’ve been planning on going. Hell, even in those situations if something more exciting comes up I’ll blow it off. These situations typically come up maybe 1-2 times a month.
I try to be aware of when I’ve been playing a lot, and limit it somewhat. Yeah, I might not have anything planned all weekend, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s healthy to sit in front of the computer for 12 hours a day
I make sure I get all my work done on schedule, and won’t let the game interfere. (I work at home and set my own hours, so I can basically stop working and log on whenever I want).
I try to do my housely duties and not blow them off. IE, the hubby works full time, I work anywhere from half to full time. As such, I try to get groceries, make dinners, do house stuff, etc. more than the hubby does because I have the time to do it and he doesn’t. This doesn’t always get done - face it, given the choice between cleaning the kitchen and playing the game/looking at the SDMB/browsing the Web, the kitchen stays dirty at times.
Given all that, I know at times I still play too much, and sometimes the hubby gets a little perturbed. However, I do maintain that the following is OK:
if the house is more or less clean & we have food in the fridge and I’m pretty well caught up on work, it’s OK to play for a couple hours in the afternoon
if hubby is off doing HIS hobbies, I’m free to do mine
if hubby is watching sports, I’m free to play
if we don’t have specific plans for the night, I’m free to play. By “specific plans” I don’t just mean stuff like “we’re going to the opera tonight” - just hanging out together counts as “specific plans.” Hubby and I are together just about all the time (we both work at home) and there are nights where we both want to just do our own thing.
if he’s tired and goes to bed early and I’m not, I might stay up and play. This doesn’t happen a whole lot - maybe once a week or so.
So that’s my take on the whole thing. What do you all think? Evil unhealthy obsession or simply a hobby?
In your case, it seems healthy. There is a line, however, when it comes to relationships. My ex spent over seven hours playing a videogame once. When I was over. From another time zone. At his behest. Via plane. I couldn’t go do something else; I didn’t have my car with me, didn’t know anyone in the area, and didn’t even have my laptop. I was stuck watching him play.
…then, when I smacked him upside the head after three hours (meaning he got four hours play with no bitching whatsoever) of hints ranging from subtle to not-so-subtle to makes-a-two-by-four-look-subtle-freaking-obvious, he had the stones to get pissed off.
I was not a happy camper.
As long as the games aren’t inhibiting your “real” life (or aren’t causing otherwise pacifistic significant others to resort to violence), s’cool.
My husband is a PC Game hobbyist – I think its the greatest thing in the world.
He is in the office playing games - if I need to run to the store, need help with the kids, just want to go do my own thing - he is at home. (Not only that, but his gaming has been instrumental in his success at his lucrative, challenging and fun job that he loves).
I have friends who’s husbands hunt and fish. Weekends, they aren’t home. Friends who’s husbands play role playing games, they aren’t home either. Friends who’s husbands play softball, not home. Friends whose husband’s golf obsessively - not only not home, but spending $200 a weekend.
Lots of hobbies can be done whenever you want in the comfort of your own home - the Dope for instance. Quilting. Painting. Woodworking (OK, generally the garage, but still). Hobby trains. Model Building. Watching sports on television. Indulging your passion for movies (on home video). Reading - I can be obsessive about a book. Working out. Recreational alcohol use. The problem is when any hobby becomes something where you ignore the wails of your hurt kid cause you need to watch the last few minutes of the auction on e-bay - where you never have clean underwear because you were too busy playing SimCity - where you haven’t spoken to spouse in two days because its playoff baseball. Where you skip work because you were up until three in the morning finishing a book. There isn’t anything unique about computer games.
Computer games are no more or less legitimate hobbies than reading, knitting, watching tv, playing sports, etc. They can be very compelling, which makes it easy to spend long periods of time playing them, but really they’re just another fun way to spend one’s free time. I’ve been just as sucked into books as I have into games, neglecting household duties and staying too late finishing stories that I was really involved with.
I think they’re easier to get obsessed with than other hobbies, mainly because the typical game will last far longer than the typical book, tv show or movie, so you spend more time with the urgency to see how it ends. But in the end, any obsessive behavior really is the fault of the gamer – if I have other obligations, I budget my game playing time. I don’t start playing a game ten minutes before I’m supposed to start making dinner any more than I start watching a movie. I think gamers make the mistake of pretending they can only play for a few minutes without getting drawn in.
I’ve heard claims that computers games are themselves inherently addictive, and I think that’s a copout. Computer games can be very interesting, and people like to do things they’re interested in. If they neglect other parts of their life in the process, they’re making bad choices.
Well, regardless of my lost links, thanks everyone for the replies. My gut feeling says these types of games (massively multiplayer online games) are going to be BIG business over the next 10 years or so… they’re going more mainstream all the time. Interesting stuff!
You’re right, Athena, regarding your last post. More and more, I hear about people who “don’t play computer games” but are addicted to Everquest, The Sims Online, etc. I don’t personally like MMOGs, but that’s just me. I’ve been plenty addicted to computer games for short time periods, and my lack of a computer for the last week and a half has been driving me bonkers. I’ve been trying out RealArcade demos to keep me satiated.
Anything is a legitimate hobby if you enjoy doing it. And anything can be an addiction if it interferes with life.
