Computer Nazi

Justify your job.

“I facilitated the use of new technologies, software, and utilities throughout the district, as well as upgrading the computers and software of all existing computer systems throughout the service area.”

Hahahahahaha. True enough. He did that. Good nazi. You did your job.

They warned us about this, towards the end of the school year, right before summer break. They told us they’d be upgrading, installing new software, and we were warned: *make backups of your data. Don’t * count on finding it on your hard drive when you come back for the new school year.

They were right, of course. Naturally, a couple people ignored the warnings, and screamed bloody murder when their files were gone on their return.

But I was clever. I made backups of everything, all my files and data, and even duped a couple of programs that I routinely use to do my job. Hahahaha. I wasn’t counting on finding my tools available when I got back, you see.

The computers are the same – one at my desk, one in the class for student use. Two computers. Same ones. Both upgraded to Windows XP, now, new motherboards, even.

And usernames. And passwords.

Hahahahaha. They promised to upgrade everything. Nothing was said of access. :smiley:

We had people who couldn’t get into their own computers weeks after school started. What? Post a list of usernames and passwords? At the SCHOOL? No, no, no, the place for all this is at the district office, where everything is safe. You can call us, and in a couple of weeks, we might get back to you.

How about we just email you your password and username? Oh? You need the password and username to get into your district email account? Hm. I guess we’ll just have to schedule someone to come by and speak to you. In a week or two. We’re very busy, up here at District, you see.

I was lucky. They didn’t change my access codes. They did alter the procedure for entering them, which balked me for a couple of hours, until the secretary clued me in, but they didn’t change my codes. I was one of the lucky ones. I could access my computer on the first day of school.

I will never cease to wonder where school secretaries get their information. Every one of them I’ve ever met is like an avatar of the gods when it comes to answering questions.

Unfortunately, they also installed a username and password on the other computer, the ones the *students * use. It didn’t have one originally. It does now. And I have no idea how to access the thing. Now my students don’t have computer access until the district computer nazi gets back to me, and tells me the top secret username and password.

I looked over the new toys. Hm. They reinstalled the IEP generator; that’s good, I need that to do my job. A few new programs. Some websites that the district has paid subscription fees for. Hey, where’s my printer?

Ah. Someone disconnected my printer and hooked it up to the kids’ computer. I removed it and hooked it back up to mine, and

NEW HARDWARE DETECTED>>YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO INSTALL THIS DEVICE>> CONTACT DISTRICT IMMEDIATELY FOR PERMISSION TO INSTALL>>

Ah, yes. We all know the world would collapse, and Chaos himself would return to rule, if teachers were allowed to install peripherals on their computers, all willy-nilly. Hm. How am I going to print anything? Ah, here we go – the default printer thingy says I’m connected to the laser printer in the workroom. Let’s try it…

PRINTER NOT RECOGNIZED>>CANNOT FIND PRINTER

Ah. Well. So there’s a printer in the workroom that I’m connected to, but cannot use. Now I see why they said that this would be cheaper – after all, it can never run out of toner if no one ever uses it, right? Say, what happens if I just reset the default to my original printer…?

NEW HARDWARE DETECTED>>YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO INSTALL THIS DEVICE>> CONTACT DISTRICT IMMEDIATELY FOR PERMISSION TO INSTALL>>READY TO PRINT

Ready to print? Curiously, I try printing… yes, it works. The computer recognizes my old printer, and permits it to work, all the while informing me that I have no permission to do this, and should contact the district immediately!

I am very lucky. I can access my machine, and I can print documents. There are many teachers in the building who are not so fortunate.

Oooookay, printer works. Say, what about these websites and new programs? What do they do?

**USERNAME______________________________

PASSWORD______________________________**

Ah. And my username and password that gets me onto the server don’t seem to work for any of these. Well. Good thing I don’t need them… oh, wait, what about the IEP generator?

**USERNAME______________________________

PASSWORD______________________________**

Oh, this isn’t good… and they’ve changed the username and password from last year. Damn! And I have meetings this week. Howthehell am I going to generate IEPs for my kids? Maybe the one from last year… saved on my flash drive…

NEW SOFTWARE DETECTED>>YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO INSTALL THIS PROGRAM>> CONTACT DISTRICT IMMEDIATELY FOR PERMISSION TO INSTALL

Mm-hm. Bite me. Say, the computer does seem to recognize my flash drive… can I just run it off the flash drive, without installing?

GOOD MORNING MASTER WANG-KA.
GENERATE/EDIT IEPs? STUDENT LIST? SUBJECT LIST?

Mm-hm. And my copy of the old program still has all my old students in it, and still runs on the old password.

It’s a hell of a note when I have to outsmart the District Computer Nazi just to do my damn job…

[spoiler]WANG-KA…

YOU ARE THE ONE… [].[/spoiler]

Keep your eye open for the upset [del]agents[/del] computer nazis.

Open for 'em? I think I work for 'em…

At the old job, they were in the opposite situation. A year after upgrades to a new operating system, the security was too lax. Most of the employees were unable to run the programs they needed to run due to their level of training, but a few knew just enough to screw shit up. I would come to work and find the data collection and analysis programs messed up. I was sick of it and showed the owners, that anybody not an idiot, could browse the network, and open bids, comtracts, and other highly sensitive documents. Security suddenly took on a priority.

So when did the computer guys invade Poland and start killing Jews?

You haven’t seen what they did to Accounting yet…

This is the reason the secretaries and IT guys at my school get jars of bourboned cherries the day before school starts. New phone system? Guess who got the extended cable so the phone can sit on his desk, not across the room? :smiley:

Mid-1940s, IIRC.

Or you could just reset/change the password yourself.

Then when they did finally get around to making your computers useable, you could always feign ignorance…

The teachers in our school can access the IEP website, Yay, but they can’t actually print from their computers. Despite repeated visits from their IT guys.

So…since the school part of where I work is actually separate from our IT department (they are the school district and we are the county), I let the teachers print their IEPs from my computer. In fact, if they need any kind of web access at all, they come up to me (and my office worker).

OUR IT department is pretty good, but we can’t even remove icons from our desktop without getting the “You do not have the privilege to perform that function” message.

We can’t even adjust our clocks. That’s okay, they run fast.

Not being in education, I have to ask: what is an IEP generator? Infidel Execution Program? Idiot Expansion Pod?

Individual (indivualized?) Education Plan. They’re either for kids who have some sort of problem with traditional schooling (disability of some sort, mental problems, and so on) and thus need help or changes in the curriculm so that they can be mainstreamed or (like it was for me) they’re for kids that the system classes as gifted and it justifies taking either replacement classes or doing other things during classtime (exactly what form it took depended on how old I was and what level of education. It meant more in elementary school than it did in middle or high school, although it got me out of an odious communications class in high school and into a much more interesting Great Books-style class.)

Evidently, the district IT staff (what are we talking about here, anyway? A lone 23 year old guy with a fresh Microsoft cert in Java programming, or a staff of fifty with certifications ranging from the lowly MCDST to the various CompTIA things like Security+ and Networking+ and a couple wizards with CISSPs?) is either clueless on how to secure things properly, or someone got a bee in their bonnet and decided to lock down everything so badly that nobody can do anything. Putting everone into the “Restricted User” group is a very common mistake.

Buddy up to an IT guy and offer them something nice in exchange for the PC’s admin password.

Once you’re logged in as Administrator, you can then set up a normal daily-use ID for yourself in what Microsoft calls the “Power Users” group - this should be enough to run and install applications as well as use things like printers and jump drives. If anything does pop up that wants to be done by an administrator, you can right-click its icon, select Run As…, then select “The Following User” and enter the admin ID/password.

That’s about the size of it. I teach special ed, so ALL my kids have “Individual Education Plans.”

The law requires us to go over them at least once a year, determine mastery levels, and update and upgrade everything… so each and every kid I teach, I get to rewrite his IEP(s) at least once a year, based on what has been learned or accomplished.

That’s a lot of IEPs… and our district doesn’t write 'em by hand. We’re supposed to use the computer-generated versions.

Which is difficult when they don’t give us the fraggin’ usernames or passwords… but like I said, I saw this coming. They didn’t change the software; they just reinstalled the same program after they reformatted and reworked and upgraded everything.

And then, instead of using the same stinkin’ username and password EVERY IEP GENERATOR IN THE DISTRICT USES, they decided to change them. After all, we can’t have just ANYONE logging on and creating IEPs, now, can we? Who KNOWS what kind of trouble might be caused if…

No, no, no, I’m being a dick. Truth is, a LOT of information about a LOT of kids is stashed in those programs, and theoretically, the wrong person getting hold of them could (at best) violate the kids’ privacy, and (at worst) could generate a lot of trouble and open us up to all kinds of lawsuits. The kids’ privacy is sacred, and guaranteed by law. I may talk about 'em, but you’ll never hear ANY of their real names out of me.

Of course, making sure WE can’t use the software either kind of defeats the purpose…

This may work in some areas of actual business; I mean, business that’s in business to simply make money. Education? I don’t know. Education is a crazy business on the best of days.

I don’t know the tech people in the district where I now work; they’re miles from where I actually work, and I never actually see or meet them. However, one district where I worked previously, the tech crew was WEIRD, very drunk with power and apparently had nothing better to do than log your keystrokes and suddenly open chat boxes in the middle of your screen, freeze your computer, and demand to know what you’re doing right now and what it has to do with the education of the children? I had that happen to me once while I was surfing CNN.com… on my lunch hour. Another teacher damn near lost her job, because she never USED her computer; she got tired of the Computer Nazi interfering with her, and began using her own laptop with a Bluetooth rig, and the Computer Nazi, upon discovering that he could no longer monitor her internet use, quite naturally assumed she was surfing porn, selling heroin on Ebay, or any number of other things, and blew many whistles…

And this is why I don’t log on to the Dope while I’m at work. Ghod knows what the bastards might do here if they got my passwords…

Heh, I doubt that. :slight_smile:

IT guy checking in.

At least you show the proper reverence to the school secretaries. You see, when we visit schools, they are our key contacts. So we sweet-talk them, we give them premium service. Especially if their daughters are hot. So you simply (bribes help) need to ask them to contact the IT guy who came to your school. You’ll get an answer by return.

I wish. She just gives me the phone number for District tech support…

I really don’t see any problems that removing the hard drive and replacing it with one bearing contents more to your liking wouldn’t solve.