Trump will be in office for the next 4 years at a minimum. If you stay with him, you will not have a sympathetic ear whenever Trump throws another one of his winks and nods to his racist misogynistic fanboys. You will be gaslighted, belittled, or ignored…at best. At worse, you will watch him go to amazing lengths to defend Trump, and you will feel all the love you have for him disappear with each stupid word he utters. And you will mourn the time you’ve lost being with him.
He doesn’t see you as “only white”, by the way. More correctly he sees you as “white enough”. As in, white enough to sleep with and possibly white enough to marry. You’ve been watching him try to sell himself on the idea of having a family with you. That’s why he’s saying the stuff about your future kids calling themselves Mexican to get ahead. All he’s trying to do is find the silver lining.
You wouldn’t have started this thread if you knew this guy meant well. So heed your instincts.
So Mexicans get a free ride all the way through college? Wow, that’s fucking awesome! Except why on God’s Green Earth would you believe it to be true? Because it’s kind of ridiculously false.
Oh boy where do I sign my kid up for this free ride?
Seriously, the guy is a hypocrite if nothing else. He gripes about other people getting bennies and then says when you have kids he’ll take advantage of those bennies too. Bennies that don’t really exist. He’s gonna be disappointed when he can’t get that free minority money or any of those huge Mexican-only grants and scholarships.
And take TV with a grain of salt. They will “exaggerate” things like racism, violence, mass murderers, etc… Have you thinking it is not safe to walk out your door or to touch a shopping cart handle!
The REALITY is there are a LOT of nice, mentally healthy, non-racist people living in this country and in your area. Every area has mostly good people living there.
I’m sure you know plenty of people in your area who are friendly toward you? As for myself, I did not vote for Trump and he does not represent my views. Mexicans are no different than anyone else (except they can make some awesome food!)
Anyway most people I know have no problem with Mexicans living here… Or Italians, or Muslims, or Germans, or whatever!
I apologize for these idiots in our country who have offended so many people from other cultures!
Whether he’s serious or joking (not funny) with his comments, he should’ve put a lid on them when you expressed how they make you feel. Very insensitive, you shouldn’t have to deal with that.
I think it’s Maya Angelou who said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
The most telling part to me is that he told you not to take it personally because he views you as “white only.” The implication is that if he did not view you as white only, he’d have a problem with you, too.
There are too many genuinely decent potential partners out there for anyone to settle for someone who has to add a caveat to exclude you from their prejudice toward others. It seems a pretty sad relationship to contemplate. What if, as ethnic diversity increases, at some point he changes his mind about you being “only white”? What if that happens AFTER you have a kid or two with him?
This country is very unlikely to ever again be majority white, a development I and lots of others consider positive. Your boyfriend will probably grow more and more dissatisfied and possibly angry as demographics continue changing. I mean it’s your life, do what you want, but I don’t really see why this is even a serious question. I see no “pro” to staying with such a person.
If he’s serious, you can find better. If he’s not serious tell him you find that sort of conversation offensive. A significant other should be respectful about reasonable requests.
I know of no general law saying what % of your ancestry has to be of groups granted ‘racial’ preferences in school admission or hiring in order to claim those preferences.
In some cases native tribes have specified a % of heritage necessary for example to claim payments related to casino earnings due to members, but in general there’s no such requirement.
And the ambiguity of ‘Hispanic’ to begin with is why IMO ‘race’ preferences for Hispanics are an even worse idea than they are for African Americans, and perhaps Native Americans. I think they’ve become counterproductive in general, but in the case of blacks there’s at least a long social history of identifying anyone partly black as black, subject to a bright line of discrimination which was very socially debilitating for a long time.
There’s been plenty of discrimination against Hispanics, but also against Asians who don’t get preferences, and Italians and Irish for that matter at one time. And even when discrimination against Hispanics was more accepted it didn’t necessarily apply to people of Caucasian appearance. So why is a person of Mexican origin and almost purely Caucasian heritage and appearance not cheating to accept a Hispanic race preference when a person with 1/4 pure ‘indio’ Hispanic background and 3/4 non Hispanic Caucasian heritage cheating to accept it? So besides there being no law, I don’t even see a reasonable basis to judge who should ‘self-regulate’ to refuse such preferences. Again I’d say the preferences’ existence is the problem.
This is a different issue. This might be an unhealthy attitude or simply one where the guy would be better off with a ‘white’ partner where they could quietly share this view rather than it causing tension in the relationship. It depends how serious the guy is.
This person does not fundamentally respect you, or your cultural identity. Love, chemistry, passion, desire and timing can overcome a lot, but I don’t believe it can overcome a basic lack of respect for who and what you are as a person.
Staying with this person will only diminish your sense of self worth, and damage your dignity as a human being.
In my humble opinion you should flee like your hair is on fire. Good Luck!
Consider what your life will be like in 2,5,10 years if you stay with him.
Do you want to listen to this shit every day for the rest of your life? Do you want to fight this battle over and over, think that maybe, just maybe, you finally have it won only to have it resurface at a bar or restaurant because of some friend of his being there and the two of them going full racist in front of you?
Stop. Think about it. This is your life, your future and potentially, your children. Do you want them to be fathered by a man who will obviously think less of them because they are part Mexican? Who will very clearly, at some point, let them know this? Do you want your kids to hear from their own father’s mouth that he thinks less of them because they’re part Mexican, or not completely white?
Hopefully, if you have any dignity and self-respect, the answer is no.
In which case you should dump the fucker and move on. It may be hard, you may feel remorse. Just keep thinking about the above, because THAT is where the road with him travels.
The racism as such isn’t the main issue here for you. Plenty of men and women are racist to some degree, but they keep it under wraps for social and professional reasons. The main issue you have is that you have a guy who will tell you this stuff to your face even after you have told him it bothers you.
This is a guy who may “love” you and care about you, hell I’d bet he’d be willing to fight and die for you, but does not (really) respect you or your opinion intellectually. People make relationship bargains on those terms all day long in the real world and lots of women are perfectly OK with mildly sexist and racist men if they don’t cheat, provide economically and behave themselves otherwise. If you stick with him because he’s hardworking, great in bed etc. that’s your decision, but his thinking your opinions on the issue has merit and needs to be intellectually respected to is not going to be part of that deal. Make your bargain.