Confessions of a whoremonger

[kayaker]

@joecool1983

Several times in that period she texted/called and had me buy drugs in Baltimore and then I transported the drugs across state lines to West Virginia.

You realize the “it’s for a friend” defense pretty much never works, right?

[Helena330]

@panaccione

Not that I disagree with you, but your making this girl out to be a demon or robot or something. Don’t get me wrong, I highly doubt this situation will end well, but she is still human. Do you really think she is incapable of having any feelings for this guy?

I do. Certainly she’s fond of his money, but a junkie’s first love is and always will be getting high. There are no “feelings” here beyond advancing her drug habit, not for the OP, not for her boyfriend, not for anything but the drugs.

[Helena330]

I’m getting the feeling this is a troll thread.

[Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension]

?

Street-walking trolls?

Apparently this guy is posting from Ankh-Morpork.

[Prof.Pepperwinkle]

@Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension

?

Street-walking trolls?

Apparently this guy is posting from Ankh-Morpork.

This is your brain. This is your brain on scrape.

[Missy2U]

@Crazyhorse

Hey, don’t be such a doubter.

I knew an imaginary hooker once. She called herself Minnie. She had a heart of gold, but she would also cut you with a razor blade just as soon as look at you. She was funny like that. She was one in a million though. She did it to pay her tuition while she studied Herpetology. (Yes, she had herpes, but that’s not what this is - it’s the study of reptiles) Her dream was to one day own and operate a red salamander sanctuary, but that’s another story.

I’m not going to lie. One time I thought we had a date but she made me sit in the car behind a 7-11 while she and her girlfriend went in for a quickie with some guy waiting in the bathroom. They came out later with two big gulps and some nachos. But they walked right past the car and forgot about me. Hah. Can you imagine? Talk about short attention spans. Later I realized I lost my wallet somewhere that night. Those were some of the best days of my life.

I tried to imagine her again several times over the year, but ever since that night her boyfriend’s uncle’s phone goes straight to voicemail and her ad on streetwalkinjunkies.com has been permanently removed. I hope she’s out there somewhere, raising those big, fightin’ salamanders, and maybe still thinks of me from time to time. Here’s to you Minnie.

But I digress - my question: OP - when you guys get together for your special evenings has she ever asked you to write a review about her on some of these prostitution review sites like the one you linked to, or does she prefer to remain anonymous? I know a lot of working gals actually want to have reviews online so other Johns know they are legit. You have a gift for the written word and I’m sure your endorsement would go a long way in helping others decide if she could actually be for real, or if it’s just too good to be true. Thanks.

Oh SNORT.

Well done!

[Tracijo67]

@billfish678

Well, I’ll be damned.

Sometimes the needs of the many do outweigh the needs of the few.

This thread surely has restored my faith in humanity.

My guy never buys my drugs for me or sits patiently (albeit with a glassy-eyed sort of sociopathic vacancy) while I blow a line-up of filthy johns for our evening’s pharma. I’m getting a little misty, just thinking of what I’ve missed out on.

OP: a serious question. At this point, I assume that your stories are more fictional than real (one can hope) but if you really do have sex with prostitutes, how do they make themselves ready for you? I doubt that they are in the least bit aroused, and most women are dry as the Sahara unless induced otherwise. Nobody in polite circles ever talks about it, so I have to assume there must be some liberal application of K-Y before any action commences. Amirite? And doesn’t that ever dampen your own enthusiasm?

[Gretel_burps]

i am not gonna lie, but I am gonna be pretty mad if the OP is being truthful. This just shoudn’t happen on any rational people.

[twickster]

@Helena330

I’m getting the feeling this is a troll thread.

Please don’t make accusations of trolling outside the Pit.

That said, I’m going to close this thread because of a lack of confidence in the sincerity of the OP.