DISCLAIMER: I have never paid for sex. This is merely a fantasy.
A man, let’s call him John, aged 27, sees the same prostitute for a while. He has never seen other prostitutes. John is extremely alone and isolated in society due to shyness, introversion and social anxiety. He is an incredibly boring individual and almost every person gets uncomfortable around him. He cannot make woman laugh or even smile. Before meeting his prostitute, he was a kissless virgin. He has never had friends. He is completely harmless and quiet and hates to see anything in pain, yet at the same time fears pain so much that he cannot get out of his comfort zone.
The particular prostitute (aka ‘escort’) John is seeing provides what they call a ‘girlfriend experience’ or GFE. This involves the prostitute pretending to be the client’s girlfriend in any way the client wants. They go to clubs, parties, fancy restaurants or simply for a ‘romantic’ walk in the park. Sex always happens afterwards.
After a year of seeing the prostitute every day, John falls completely in love with her. John confesses his love to her. The woman plays along, but only when he pays her. He ends up paying her insane sums up money. He fears that he might get bankrupt soon. The whore supports him by saying it will be alright. “I am here; I will always love you” she says. She will not budge on the amount of money he has to pay her. Sometimes when they meet and he says that he forgot his wallet, she will say that until he pays, they will not do anything together.
John cannot take it anymore. He starts to feel extreme resentment first towards the whore, then to himself. He is soon going to run out of money. His work productivity has suffered and his supervisor has said to him if he doesn’t shape up, he might be out of a job. He is behind on rent. He feels worthless and pathetic. He is loser who got tricked by a whore. He considers on going a murdering rampage, killing prostitutes by the dozens.
All he ends up doing though is this: he meets up with his ‘soul mate’ in their usual hotel room as so many times before. Right after he passes a wad of cash to her, he starts to cry, as he has done so often before. “I love you! If you don’t love me, push me away! I can’t keep doing this! I’m going to lose everything soon! Why do you hurt me so much?!” he shouts while sobbing. “Honey, I do love you! Come over here. Everything will be ok. There there…” she responds while he cries in her warm sick embrace.
They start to kiss and she slowly starts to unzip his pants. “Hold on, I have to go pee first”, he says. He goes into the bathroom but leaves the door unlocked. He looks into the mirror. He closes his eyes as they start to tear up again. He opens them and takes a deep breath. He looks towards the bathtub with a gas mask inside. A cylinder of gas is next to it. He takes a letter addressed to the prostitute from his pocket and lays it on the floor. He turns on the gas and goes to lie face-up into the bathtub, putting on the gas mask. He passes out and dies.
The prostitute waits on the bed for over 10 minutes, playing on her smart phone. She calls out to John “honey, I’m starting to get lonely out here. Come hold me”. No response. “Honey?”, she gets up and knocks on the bathroom door? “Is something wrong?”, she opens the door. She screams.
A week later, the prostitute is going through the ordeal. “He could have at least done it without getting me involved. Jesus Christ what a loser. I hope he rots in hell. At least I don’t have to fuck that disgusting creep ever again, even if the money was good. God what a chump”.
“Oh well, one less sucker isn’t the end of the world, although it might be hard to find one that would willingly pay such ridiculous amounts”, she thinks when she hears a knock on the hotels room’s door. “Is this the place of worship?”, she hears a man ask. “Come on in”, she replies. An ugly and scruffy-looking middle-aged overweight man opens the door and steps into the room and says “Good to see you”.
“Hi again” she says with a friendly tone.
He comes over to her bead and sits down on it away from her. He starts to softly cry.
“I love you”. He says while burying his face with his hands.
Her mouth turns from a worried frown into a sickening smile. “I love you too”, she replies.
Now the other things that are true about me: I am a 27 year old virgin male. I fantasize about posting the above story to this sub on reddit but I am fucking terrified to do so. Do you think I should? I am accutely suicidal. The fact that I feel that the only way I can get sex is through prostitutes is currently one of the biggest driving forces behind my suicidality right now. Writing about this is fucking hard. Sorry if it makes you upset.
Also I am not in the US and prostitution is legal here. I’d rather die than visit one though. Yes I am totally crazy. So sue me. 