I have been thinking about starting this thread for a long time and haven’t because I’m sure it will raise some ire. But now I’ve decided it’s time.
I want to talk about the sort of petty on going conflicts which seem to litter everyones lives and often fill the pages here on the Dope.
You know the kind. The neighbour leaves their garbage cans out for days after garbage pick up. Office mates who don’t wash up their dishes. People who never refill the tray in the photocopier. Smallish, pettyish ongoing conflicts.
One of these is playing out in my neighbourhood and I am astounded that intelligent, thinking people are so caught up in it.
Where I live it involves the garbage cans being left out, plus garbage spilling out (as it has not been properly managed, admittedly) into the street. Now I don’t think my neighbourhood is any different than any other. It’s urbancore, some single family homes, some multiple unit rentals, a few students/young people etc.
My next door neighbour, and the woman across the street, are constantly in a twist about this ‘horrific’ situation. Now you should know, it’s not human/toxic waste, it’s trash that the animals got into and largely stuff spilled out of overloaded recycling bins.
My neighbour is constantly trying to enlist me onto her team, the ones who every week call city hall and make complaints, and more complaints. And demand that landlords get sent letters etc. They, perhaps rightly, think is doesn’t help that I live right across from the ‘horror’ yet never lodge any complaint.
As she is an intelligent woman I assumed she would soon discover that there is little satisfaction to be had pursuing that path. The phone system is a nightmare, city hall employees are notoriously cranky and the very most they are going to do, no matter how much you complain, is send a harshly worded letter. Who has the time for that week after week? And how are they not able to notice what it’s doing to them as people. They are both turning into a couple of righteous shrews. This fight, which they can never win, people being people after all, is exacting a terrible price on their souls, it is consuming them.
My own approach is much simpler and, I find, much more fulfilling. I pick up the garbage when I walk by, I even bring a pair of gloves and a bag when I head to the variety store for this very purpose. I walk my dog in the neighbourhood so it’s no biggy for me. On windy days I spend half my dog walking time righting peoples garbage cans that have blown into the street. Because I know they are at work, and I’m right there. Well, it turns out this only makes them angrier.
They just got off the phone to city hall, complaining about trash blowing in the street or cans on the curb, and a quick glance out the window reveals the trash is gone and cans are up on the porches. Now they look like fools to the people at city hall who they have demanded drive by to see for themselves. They don’t seem to understand that once it’s blowing in the street city hall really can’t say who’s garbage it is, and so, can really only do what they are doing. Which is listen to them bitch and offer comforting reassurance and then get on with their day.
I just don’t understand the mindset that people should spend so much time and energy and allow it to eat part of their soul away over something so trivial and stupid. If it bothers you that much, shut your mouth and pick up the garbage, wash up the dishes in the sink, put the shopping carts back in the round up, whatever. But for Christ’s sake SHUT UP.
Make your peace with it, and move on. It either bothers you enough to act or it doesn’t, no one wants to hear you complain about it endlessly. People are people, shit is going to happen like this.
You were not put on this earth to ‘teach’ people anything. They had mothers and they are already raised up, get over yourself already. No adult ever learned anything this way. There is a chance they might yet learn from your example but you should understand if you decide to pick up the garbage or wash up the dishes, no one owes you a thank you. You’re doing it for you, it’s extremely important you understand that part.
I guess it comes down to the most effective solution and the path of least resistance. They are selling their souls, winging and bitching, involving countless other people and yet the garbage is still in the street and they are destined to never be happy, because, at the end of the day, people are still people and this kind of crap is not going to disappear from the earth.
I, on the other hand, when I see the garbage (while it doesn’t really bother me, per se, I know it bothers them) I pick it up. Not to teach anyone a lesson, not so I can feel superior, not so I can receive accolades, because I can contribute to making something better. No, I don’t always have the time and no, I don’t always do it.
So, are there any like minded dopers out there?
Do you ever want to say to your office mates, “If it bothers you so much then wash the dishes, if not, then shut up about it!”
