Wow, that’s early to start piling on society’s gender role constraints.
i agree with avoid pink and blue - i am a girl and I detest pastels, anything pink and frilly is even worse. I am not a frilly type girl. And I have a collection of pocket knives =)
they had a baby cup that had a cross engraved on it on google shopping …
This is a bizarre concept to me - like marking the day you picked your wedding DJ - but how about a book? Like, a Bible or something?
A dagger can function as a pocket knife and a cross. Just sayin’.
We were surprised by my first- it sure annoyed everybody that we didn’t want to know! My favorite memory of delivery was my husband shouting out not “it’s a boy” but “it’s an Aaron”, since that was the boy name we chose.
We did find out the gender for our second. My son (2.5 yo) was so convinced it was a girl that he had a name and everything picked out. He completely rejected the idea it could be a boy. I decided I needed to know if he was right. And he was! 
I assume the notion is to give the child an heirloom, something they can treasure when they are old enough to appreciate it.
My father gave me his father’s compass, that he used to navagate up north with - a sturdy 1940s model. I have a son, to whom I intend, in turn, to pass it on. I’d have also passed it on to a daughter, had I had a daughter - a compass is an equal-opportunity sort of item.
Count me in with the crowd that’s confused by this concept. I’ve never ever heard of a gift marking this occasion.
One more chiming in to say: you may wind up buying the “wrong” gift anyway. The doctor was certain I was going to be a boy, right up until the moment we first met. My mother, of course, likes to say she always knew better.
So I like **Malthus’s **suggestion…
I’d never heard of it either, but I’m a sucker for traditions and sentimentality. Whether or not it’s a new or old custom, or whether it inappropriately reinforces gender roles (?) is irrelevant. Not everything is sacred, of course, and you’re not bringing up a little hoarder, but I think this is a neat idea.
Should perform, Hal. You meant to write should there.
I was nineteen before I was given my first pocketknife (I had bought them for myself before) and was thrilled. I am a girl. Buy your girl a knife. Better yet, buy her a baby blanket.
I think this is kind of a neat idea - I have a couple of Christmas ornaments that were bought for me when my mom was pregnant with me (I was born in February). They were engraved with the in-utero nickname my folks had for me (which was gender-neutral, since this was before the days of routine ultrasounds). It’s neat to have a tangible reminder how loved and anticipated I was even before I was born.
And when I was pregnant with my son, I was sure he was going to be a girl - so sure that, after the “it’s a boy!” ultrasound, it took me a little bit to adjust to the idea of a son and not a daughter. I remember the first thing I bought that was specifically for HIM, and even though it was only a blanket, it’s special to me.
I get that it’s not a “pocketknives are for boys only” thing - it’s a commemoration item. And of COURSE it may not be to their taste as they get older, for gender or other reasons - they didn’t pick it out, and you didn’t actually know them or their taste when you bought it. It doesn’t really matter whether they use it or not; what’s important is the story of “We found out you were going to be a girl, and I was so excited that I bought this for you, because I loved you before you were born and I couldn’t wait to get you something to show that.”
That said, I don’t have a lot of ideas for you! Maybe a nice silver or crystal vase for a girl, and a pocketwatch for a boy? Otherwise, I like the idea of a different pocketknife or a different cross necklace.
Frankinsence for a boy; Myrrh for a girl. . .
It might bite her!
Maybe some kind of ornament? Like a china dog for a boy and a fairy for a girl or something.
The reason that no one has ever heard of this tradition is because it is something that I made up spontaneously when I was driving from the doctor’s office to work on the day of our sonogram in which we found out the sex of our first child.
We are a very sentimental family. My son plays with the hard hat that my grandfather wore to work when he first came to this country. He also wears daily a beaded bracelet that his mother made in girl scouts. My daughter puts her jewelry in a porcelin bowl that my grandmother put her jewelry in every night. She also wears the denim jacket that my older brother and I shared when we were in school. I could go on for a couple of paragraphs on stuff like this in my family.
As far as forcing a kid into a gender role by a baby gift? That is taking it a little far. Any kid who spends one afternoon in my house would get a good example of division of labor and interaction that is based on parent personality, interest, and skills, rather than traditional gender roles. Giving my daughter a beautiful piece of jewelry is not going to make her into a lil’ delicate man fearing wilting flower, not with my wife and me as parents! It will simply make her a girl who has a beautiful piece of jewelry.
I am absolutely intrigued by the book and compass ideas. We are a family who enjoys reading. But now I got to think of what book would be great as an heirloom. I don’t got much time!
I think it’s much more important to have a gift to celebrate the actual BIRTH, not a lab result that may or may not be accurate. I’ve had friends whose grandchild was confirmed to be a girl up to 24 hours before birth, and popped out a boy. If that happened, I don’t think you’d want to remind the child forever that you were so giddy when you thought you were having a girl, but hey, we still love you as a boy…here’s a locket we bought for you!
And don’t get me started on push presents.
But as to an heirloom-type gift, I think to avoid future resentment, stick to the same gift you gave the other child of the same sex. otherwise twenty years down the road, at the Thanksgiving table, you’ll be hearing about “you gave older brother that cool pocketknife, and all I got was a crummy book that got lost when we moved.”
Bourbon if it’s a boy, gin if it’s a girl.
The most important part of it is the story that goes with it. Because it isn’t about the pocketknife or the necklace or the compass or the book. It’s all about, “This was what we did at this stage of your life. We didn’t know you yet, but we were happy to find out more about you, and getting excited to meet you.” And if it turns out that the girl is actually a boy, well, that’s part of the story, too. It’s part of that child’s personal history.
Parents give their children commemorative gifts sometimes, even when the child is too young to care. I don’t see that this is really any different.
And if, heaven forbid, something does go wrong between now and the birth, the existence of one less reminder isn’t going to make things any easier, and it might be one personal thing to hold onto.
This being at least the second mention in the thread, and me having never heard of it, I googled it.
WOW. “I will trade you this baby for that bracelet!”"
WTF?
Also, what does “does not believe in jewelry” even mean? Like, he thinks it does not exist and is a figment of her imagination or something?
On topic, I’m another one who can’t really imagine buying a present for a fetus which I intend to give him/her at some distant future date, so I am of little help. If you’ve got a name picked out, maybe get it something like a plaque that describes the origin and meaning or whatever?
Edit: Wow, I should have kept reading that article: “'I wouldn’t necessarily say the gift was from me,” said Bruce Owen, 35, of Oakland, Calif. “[My wife] picked it out. She bought it. It was more as if I didn’t have a choice.'” Honestly, WTF is wrong with people and what’s the deal with the men who put up with it? “Uhh, no, you know what? You wanted this baby just as much as I did or you wouldn’t have opened your legs. No $1000 necklace for you.” And where’s the guys’ presents for putting up with all the hormonal bullshit for more than THREE QUARTERS OF A YEAR?
That whole concept pisses me off. And I’m a woman!
Edit the second: Have a link. 'Push Presents' Expected From Expectant Fathers | Fox News