Not only do they feel entitled to gifts but feel entitled to demand certain types of gifts.
What ever your feeling about the issues of having a child, I REFUSE to be told what type of gift I HAVE to get. The gift they want is money, or things easily converted to money. They are not needing any (yes I do know something about their finances). If I give a gift I will decide what type.
OK with that out of the way.
I was thinking about getting a coin, like the commemorative $10 platinum coin (which I think goes for $170) , and a nice box. So each year I can get another coin. This would be something the child will appreciate in time, having a complete set since he was born (unless he spends it for $10, which I guess is possible with children). I want to know other such options, more of a collectible that can appreciate in value as opposed to giving them cash.
Also if anyone knows how much a $10 platinum coin costs and other options coin or otherwise.
What about savings bonds? They can be converted into cash, but not very easily. I got a whole bunch of savings bonds when I was born, baptized, first Communion, etc., and they paid for my first year of college.
People give cash to parents of newborns? Really? I know that the grandparents sometimes do–but I had no idea that friends did that!
The coin is a nice idea. Just be careful that you don’t rope yourself into the expectation of getting a coin every dang year until the child is 18.
If I don’t know what to get, I generally hit Target and get a bunch of baby things: diapers, baby wash, lotion, shampoo, diaper ointment, etc. Then I put it in a nice basket and arrange it so it looks pretty. Not easily converted to cash though.
Well, this is just me, but since I don’t respond well to being told what to do, my reaction would be to get them nothing. Yeah, I think I’m onto something here - get nothing for the parents, but get something sentimental for the baby. Maybe frame a newspaper from the day he was born or something.
I just received an invitation to a baby shower from a distant relative. Enclosed is an envelope for those who wish to send money (“please send cheque or money order”).
Also provided is a link to a Baby Gift Registry. Grrrmph. Most of my supplies when my son was born were hand-me-downs, and they were handed down to other relatives or friends later. What’s with this 1000s of dollars’ worth of gifts in this registry?
All of this spontaneity made me decide not to attend the shower, in fact I’d rather regrout my bathroom tiles. I’ll be sending a cheque, and thanks for the invitation.
That’s what I did when my friend had her baby last year. Five of us got together and bought tons and tons of baby things for her - diapers, wipes, butt cream, and all the essential things. With our giant baskets, she was fully stocked for a few months and was able to spend her own money on fun baby outfits and toys she chose herself.
I also know of parents who set up a college fund in their kid’s name, and people can give to that, knowing that only the kid will ever be able to touch it, and only for school. I’m not sure exactly how that works, though.
Baby gifts are usually to make the parents’ lives easier. The baby isn’t going to know what you’re giving. Although, if it’s family, like a new niece or nephew, maybe a sentimental gift would be nice. Something they can show him/her later and say “look what kanicbird got you when you were born!” Maybe pay for a professional photo session?
Out of curiosity: how did they make their wishes known? DId they tell you that they wanted cash? Or, like **MoodIndigo/b]'s rude relative, did they put their shake-down demand in writing on the baby shower invitation or baby announcement? Rude, rude, rude!
If you want to be nice, go ahead and send the coin (or a savings bond, which might be more practical and would certainly be cheaper). I also like Shirley Ujest’s suggestion of a share of stock.
But if it were me, I would ignore their extortion and buy a nice generic baby present. One of my favorite baby gifts is a package of onsies (if the baby was born in the Spring or summer) or a package of stretch terry creepers (if the baby was born in the Fall or Winter); one or two receiving blankets (can’t have too many of those); and a package of Pampers (even if they are using cloth diapers or a diaper service, it’s handy to have a few disposables on hand for short trips).
Rude people shouldn’t be rewarded and a platinum coin (or savings bond or stock certificate) sounds too close to cash. If they feel like the shakedown worked then they’ll continue it with subsequent children and celebrations.
I’m a fan of savings bonds, myself. My parents and grandparents gave my daughter bonds over the years, and now that she’s getting ready to start college, they’re reaching maturity.
Of course, I never demanded them, or any other gifts. I may be tacky at times, but not that tacky.
In the general sense, I like the ideas of one share of a kid-friendly stock, or a savings bond (usually US series EE or series I).
In this particular case, since the parents are demanding cash or resalable goods, I’d give them at most a container of baby wipes – which ain’t for the newborn, mind you.
A demand for gifts is rude, regardless of the demandor’s financial condition, and is properly answered with “Thanks but no thanks.”
Here’s another idea: Set up – but do not fund – a tuition savings plan for the newborn. Make the gift be all the paperwork, filled out and ready for the parents to sign, long term investments already selected.
Just a note… a recent discussion on another board yielded the information that a whole bunch of new mothers had friends who did this for them at their baby showers - the problem was that all of their friends did it, and they ended up with more baby products than they’d ever be able to use. Meanwhile, the larger items on their shower registries were never purchased, even though their friends could have bought them for what they spent on the baby gift baskets. The mother of a child who is now over two said she still hadn’t used up all the wipes she’d been given!
Wow. You’re thinking of getting a $170 gift because you’re pissed? Will you be my friend? Just kidding. Sounds like you’re a generous person and get annoyed when people make assumptions and demands regarding that.
I like the idea of stock or a bond. I think that’s preferable to a coin, unless the family is into coin collecting.
Along the lines of “baskets of useful baby stuff”–they sell kits of baby stuff already assembled. We got a grooming kit and a kit of medical stuff like a thermometor and medicine dropper. That kind of stuff is handy for new parents because they don’t know what they’re going to need, and it’s nice to have a selection. Plus, they came in handy zippered containers. J&J puts out a kit with a bunch of medications. We took that as a shopping list, and got one of each medication and a bottle of Pedialyte. We didn’t use some of the things, but it was certainly nice to know they were there if we needed them.
The utilitarian type of baby clothes are a good choice. As Jess said, things like onesies, creepers, and receiving blankets are in constant use. And bibs. Here–I’ll make sure everyone sees it:
BIBS
Bibs get really grungy and gross, so they’re hard to get on hand-me-down or the thrift shop. Unless they’re fancy bibs, which often don’t get used because they’re hard to clean! So, ordinary, utilitarian bibs are a great choice.
And if all else fails, just get some toys or books. Board books and bathtub toys are always good.
I’d write a $XX.XX check. Checks are easily converted into cash.
For the parents, I’d get gift certificates for a local pizza joint. There will be plenty of times when they just won’t have the time or even feel like cooking a meal. That or a book on etiquette.