It’s like being a Japanese messy boy just with vomit.
I didn’t click but I know…
Assuming the OP is not making all of this up, I’d have been dealing with it a lot sooner.
Just a little clarification.
Working at home is a pain because my home laptop is much slower than work, I don’t have access to the work printer if I need to print out something, and I don’t have remote access to the hospital systems to get records. It’s just more efficient at work.
The problem is not continuous. If it was I would have said something. However, it is completely random . Sometimes I hear in at noon, sometimes at midnight. Sometimes it goes on for five minutes and sometimes it is once or twice. I don’t need to point it out because there is no way he is not aware of it ( as someone said upthtead, it would be by like pointing out that someone is fat).
I don’t know if it is just the way he clears his throat but it sounds like retching. Regardless, it is not my place to say something. He has to be aware of it.
@psychobunny , something is unclear here. You say you hear it while you eat lunch, and after you finish seeing patients, sometimes at midnight, and at 2 AM.
Do you ever hear this while you’re with a patient? That would affect your business, grossing out your customer as well as you.
Your response should be:
BANG BANG BANG
I CAN HEAR YOU!
Did anyone notice this from the “Annoy Your Neighbors” thread about a year ago?
I’m gonna drive my work neighbor crazy! What do you think of this PrankPuke™Audioplayer, can it be set to random times?
I’d like to capitalize on this brief, yet appropriately gross, diversion to bring George Carlin into this:
That’s not the biggest insult. The biggest insult however, is the, uh, …the fake vomit. Imagine that- artificial vomit, wow. Some people can’t scrape real vomit together, man. Guys are ordering three dozen vomit on the phone, man. I’ve seen a couple different brand names on that. One of 'em’s called “Glop”. Another one is “Whoops!” Isn’t that great- ‘whoops!’ Tells you where to use it, too. They have little hints on a piece of cardboard. It’s stapled to a piece of cardboard and it tells you where to use it. “On the car seat” …There’s a good one. “On the sidewalk”, naturally. “Bathroom floor” they suggest there. The one that knocks me out is “near the refrigerator”. It’s so strange 'cause some, some grown person had to think of that! Some guy was at work one day and said, “Hey, Phil! I got another one! ‘Near the refrigerator’, huh?” “Beautiful, Charley! Lemme call the printer. Hey!” Near the refrigerator…wow. Fake vomit.
Lenny Bruce once said the reason the artificial vomit sells is because the artificial dog crap sold so well. I grew up watching the dog crap in the window, boy. I always thought…first, I thought a doggie had gotten in the window and done it there, y’know. It was always next to the false teeth that you wind up and let go, right? Good ol’ plaster of Paris dog crap, wow. Sure is strange. How do ya ask for that, y’know? Whaddaya say to the guy? “I’d like to see something in a dog crap, please.” “Well, what did you want to spend on that?” “Money’s no object. It’s for a very good friend. I rather fancy that beige number in the window.” “That’s not beige. That’s champagne gold! It’s our ‘Breed Of The Month’- bulldog. You buy bulldog, we throw in a fox terrier free.” Yeah. I imagine there’d be collectors, y’know, guys that had every breed. “Hey, ya got any St. Bernard?” “Yes, but there’s no room in the window for that. We, uh…” The doberman pinscher- you’d always know the authentic doberman pinscher would be the one with the little pieces of buttons and clothing in it, right? “I’d like to include a card with that, please. ‘Love to all, Dan.’ Put that on my Diner’s Club. You mind gift wrapping it for me?” I dunno. Sure is strange.
Meh, that just looks like a bad Spanish omelette.
There are other things that can cause people to retch and gag, and such actions are actually quite common webcam material. Perhaps the “massage parlor” has given up on the subterfuge and it’s just straight-up sex acts and cam shows now.
Not having remote access to a hospital computer system as a physician seems extremely unlikely to me.
mmm
To clarify, as a primary care doctor I no longer admit patients to the hospital. I have not been inside the hospital in about ten years. The hospitalists have essentially taken over inpatient care. I do maintain courtesy/community affiliate privileges at two hospitals which lets me access CME and keeps me more tied into the community.
When a patient is discharged, I usually receive a summary of their care. However, if another physician orders tests or an admission, I may not receive anything. Therefore, I have remote access to these two hospitals’ medical record systems. There is of course a lot of security involved in accessing hospital records. Since my electronic health record is a different system than the hospital systems, I had to see up remote access at my office. However, my IT contract only covers my office computers. At home, I have a personal laptop which is not covered by my IT guys and is not configured for remote access to the hospital. I can access my own system on my laptop but it is extremely slow. I also have some limited access to my EHR via a phone app but this also does not have an interface with any of the hospitals.
If there is a weekend emergency, the hospitalists will be caring for the patient and there is rarely an urgent need to check their results.
All this is to explain why it is not unusual that I don’t have remote hospital access at home. ( Incidentally, I also have no access to the records of doctors I cross cover over the weekends. It’s not something that has ever been needed; usually you can talk to a patient and get whatever information you need and if I really need hospital data I can go into the office to access it there.)
Curiosity would eat me alive.
I’d have to find out.
Let’s go dumpster diving and low level spying. Just open your office door and watch for passerbys.
If you see someone headed to that office follow them.
I know I would. YMMV
I be sneaky!!
Do you have a drinking glass you can put on the wall and your ear close to it, ala’ Scooby Doo mysteries. .
Oh, wait you do have a stethoscope. How convenient.
I’m kidding of course.
But …dang, I wanna know.
It’s an SNL Career Day skit