Contest: Who had the cheesiest prom theme song?

Milo jumps to the early lead with “The Best of Times” by Styx.

It was off “Paradise Theater.” What a great concept album. Better than Pink Floyd’s “The Wall.”

[sub]Uh, I’m kidding.[/sub]

And do you still have the commemorative glass with the silhouetted couple and the theme song on it? Not me. Maybe it’s at my Mom’s.

Wait a minute…
I thought everybody’s prom theme song was “Stairway to Heaven”. (?)

Mine was REM’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It.” Ultra romantic, easy to dance to, and utterly original! :rolleyes:

Wait…upon tiny little prom album research, I find that my prom didn’t even have a theme. The REM song was merely the Class of 1998’s class song. It was played a good 5 times during the dance, so I hereby proclaim it to have been Monroe High’s Utterly Lame 1998 Prom Theme.

Class of ‘88. Our prom theme was that friggin’ “Dirty Dancing” song, “I’ve had the Time of my Life”. Yeah, beat that. Don’t look at me, though - on the ballot, I selected “Anarchy in the UK” and “I want Your Sex”.
Oh, and FTR, I didn’t have the time of my life at the prom. It wasn’t even the best part of that day. Which would be when I got home and masturbated.

Our prom theme was “An Evening in Paris”. No song, just a “theme”.

This might have been sweet and romantic and clever… if anything about the decorations, the music, the buffet menu, anything, had been remotely French or even bad-faux-French.

Heh. Not really a Prom Song, as we don’t do Proms in the civilised world. :wink:
We just rent a local bar and get pissed while listening to whatever the PA blurts out. Theme of the evening is usually: “Let’s Drink Copious Amounts of Beer”, or words to that effect.

But when I left elementary school at the wee age of 12, we had a goodbye party in the garage of this one girls house. Her parents house, of course. Anyway, we all slow-danced all night to Art Garfunkels Bright Eyes. Sniff.

Top THAT!

Not really cheesey, but absurd:
My prom song was “These are Days” by 10,000 Maniacs. How the hell do you dance to that? We sure never figured it out.
Not that anyone danced anyway - the band was so lousy that we applauded when they announced that they were taking a break.

Hmmm…pretty hard to beat Styx, who are, in fact, worst band of the 70s, but I think that I can at least give you a run for the money with Do You Know Where You’re Going To? (Theme From Mahogany), by Michael Jackson’s role (and facial surgery) model, Diana Ross. A pretty high squirm factor, you’ll agree.

I think I should get extra points: our grad year (1979) was so lame, we actually wound up by having the same song as the previous year’s class, the abovementioned Miss Ross extravaganza. It was warbled at our ceremony (after I gave the Valedictorian) by a girl who wore so much hairspray she was known as “brass brains.”

Silver, Blue and Gold. By Bad Company.

See, it was our school’s silver anniversary. And our school colors were blue and gold. See?

I’ll never understand how the hell I got out of that place with a halfway decent education.

although it wasn’t a theme, my prom managed to get “Gansta’s Paradise” by Coolio played. It was immediately followed by the Macarena.

My classmates sucked…

Oh jeez, painful memories resurfacing, bile rising. Ah, WTF?

My suggestion of Stairway to Heaven (remember, this was '79) was not even considered. The consensus was for Seals and Crofts We May Never Pass This Way again though my preference would have been “may we never pass this way again.” In the end the principal’s daughter got her way with <shudder> Do You know where you’re going to?

Rodd, do you have the nightmares too? I thought I was the only one.

The prom itself was a bizarre event. They hired the so-called U of A dance band which would have put Lawrence Welk to sleep. I think we actually danced more when the band went on a smoke break with all of us doing the bunny hop a capella.

Me and my date were stylin’ fine though. I had the widest lapels, the most ruffles on my shirt and the tallest platform shoes. I was actually proud of that fact until it was used as a gag on The Simpsons No limo though. Drove my dad’s new chevy truck that he still owns.

Might not win, but i can make a strong showing with… “Take it to the Limit,” by the Eagles. Made worse by the fact that my prom was in 1993! Couldn’t we find a semi-recent song, folks???

Hah! You think your songs were bad, mine was “Longer” by Dan Fogelberg.

Longer than there’ve been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there’ve been stars up in the heavens
I’ve been in love with you

Stronger than any mountain cathedral
Truer than any tree ever grew
Deeper than any forest primeval
I am in love with you

I’ll bring fires in the winters
You’ll send showers in the springs
We’ll fly through the falls and summers
With love on our wings

Through the years as the fire starts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow
I’ll be in love with you

Longer than there’ve been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there’ve been stars up in the heavens
I’ve been in love with you
I am in love with you
I was your pretty normal sappy girl in High School but even this song was too much! (The worse part is 4 years later my brother and his wife chose this as their wedding song.)

I’d have been really happy with “Take It To The Limit,” personally.

Cast your mind back to 1988, and sing along with me:

Almost paradise! We’re knocking on heaven’s door! (or something like that)
Almost paradise! How could we ask for more?
I swear that I can see forever in your eyes.
Paaaradise …

Awful as that was, I vote for Padeye and Rodd Hill with “Do You Know Where You’re Going To,” with Nausicaa running a close second with Dan Fogelberg. <shiver>

“Don’t You Forget About Me” by Simple Minds.

Sure it’s dated but it was sort of fitting as I thought most of the people I graduated with were so simple that there was no way I could forget such a huge group of idiots.

And yes, it won by a slim margin over “Stairway to Heaven”, which ultimately lost because the previous year’s graduates had used it.

From none other than that ground-breaking band, John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band, I present you the Hunterdon Central High School Class of 1986’s Senior Ball Theme…

Tender Years.

I don’t think anybody’s going to top “Theme from Mahogany”. I mentioned in a previous thread that that’s one of the few songs that actually makes me want to commit suicide.
Dan Fogelberg is only (barely) marginally better - and neither one of those are what I would call good dance songs.Hey, anybody have “Time in a Bottle”? That would be pretty tough competition too.

True, true, wbb.

But to this day when I hear a Styx ballad, my mind goes instantly back to awful white tuxedos with teal bowties and cummerbunds, and girls with The Big Bang over their foreheads.

(For those of you who didn’t go to high school in the mid-80s, this will help you picture the popular female hairstyle of the day.

Hold your hand in a position as though you are going to open a jar of pickles or mayonnaise.

Keeping your hand in that position, press the back of that hand flush against your forehead.

Now, look in the mirror, and picture that hand as hair.)

Personally, I think Rodd’s got it cinched with “Do You Know Where You’re Going To?” but here goes.

Strictly speaking it wasn’t a prom, it was a middle school “Spring Carnival”. It was arranged by the cheerleading squad who that year (1985 I think) had won some very minor cheerleading competition with a cheer choreographed to Rick Springfield’s “Bop 'Til you Drop”, so they just had to theme the whole school dance around Bop 'Til You Drop, despite the fact that the song was three years out-of-date and not really all that popular to begin with.

Now, for those of you unfamiliar with the lyrics of Bop 'Till You Drop, they go something like:

Bop ‘til you drop
In the hot city
Keep on workin’ day and night
Don’t stop 'til you get what you want

etc…

So the cheerleaders latch onto the “In the hot city” aspect of the song and decorate the whole gymnasium with backlit cardboard cutouts of buildings. To drive home the “hot” aspect they had “flames” made from fringed strips of red cellophane made to ripple via fans blowing air upwards. Very clever really, but let me stress that this wasn’t a very big gymnasium. So between the DJ’s setup, the folded up bleachers, the wrestling mats and the cityscapes, there was maybe four fifths of a basketball court to dance in.

So anyway the dance starts, and after about twenty minutes the boy/girl room polarity is conquered by the siren song of Ah-Ha’s “Take On Me” and some earnest if uncoordinated dancing begins. But on this cramped dance floor it doesn’t take long for somebody to knock down one of the flimsy cityscapes. This keeps happening, and after about four or five times loose piece of cardboard gets stuck into one of the fans powering the cellophane “Fire”.

GNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNRRR!!!

Now, being a bunch of fourteen-year-olds, everybody was absolutely mortified about embarrassing themselves. So nobody was at all willing to dance too near the “city” for fear of making a scene, so the mass of the dancing starts getting concentrated near the opposing wall – where the folded up bleachers were. The bleachers were these big wooden things that folded up like an origami shelf, and they either got jostled or somebody tripped over the locking mechanism or something because they started slowly expanding outward. Now the people standing next to the bleachers are slowly being pressed into the middle of the crowd, but the folks in the middle (including me) don’t realize what’s happening. There’s some muttering, a girl screams, the needle screeches across Rockwell’s “Somebody’s Watching Me” and then…Pandemonium! The whole dance floor is a tangle of Vans sneakers, Gunny Sax dresses and Members Only jackets.

Eventually peace was restored, and the principal even let the cheerleading squad do their “Bop 'Til You Drop” thing in thanks for their efforts. I couldn’t tell you if it was any good, my friends and I were in the parking lot practicing our breakdancing moves on the cardboard cityscape.

For my Junior Prom, the them song was Paul Anka’s “Havin’ My Baby”.

Of course that created a bit of controversy in town, so the following year, wiser heads prevailed, and so the theme song for my Senior Prom was The Beatles “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road”.

[sub]Ok, I’m lyin’. I never went to no stinkin’ prom. Hell no, I ain’t bitter.[/sub]