Tomndebb,
Boy, don’t I know it. Our county has two major USAF bases. Nothing will ruin your day better than having your traffic radar mistakenly aimed at an F-15 Eagle.
…send lawyers, guns, and money…
Warren ZevonThe other day my daughter asked me “What’s a lesbian?” She is 8, that was a conversation I really hoped I would be able to avoid. :eek:
Thanks for the smile this morning.
How do you feel about doing someone you don’t know?
Please, please, please (on my knees) please, please ~~ originally posted by GolfWidow
Man, it’ll seem like I have a one-track mind, but the most mind-numbing conversations happen when someone finds out I’m vegetarian:
“You can eat fish and chicken, can’t you?” (No, fish and chicken are not vegetables.)
“You’ll get anemic!” (I’ve been veggie for many years, not dead or anemic yet!)
“I don’t eat much meat myself.” (Didn’t ask.)
That’s the short list.
Also, when someone finds out I’m from California (I moved out-of-state recently) they invariably tell me that they have either:
- Visited California,
- Have relatives in California
- Once lived in California
I guess this is because CA is such a populous state. Oh, an optional conversation would be prodding me to tell them how much I like it where I am now as compared to California.
(Which isn’t going to happen. I miss CA terribly, where I live now is like Hooterville.)
You lived in South Africa? My cousin, Bill, lived in Nigeria for two whole years once, do you know him?
-yes, of course. I am on a first name basis with the entire population, past and present, of Africa.
You’re a vegetarian? Thats all right, I made fried chicken, you can eat that right?
-yes, of course. Chicken is my favorite vegetable.
Are you drunk?
-No, I just enjoying staggering around campus late at night on the weekends.
…For the glory of Ed Zotti.
Esprix, Puhleeezze, tell me that was a joke, that someone * actually has the nerve * to act like you have all the ** homosexual answers **?? No wonder you have such a sense of humor! What dimbulbs!
'hot ‘nuff fer ya?’ usually said after I come in to pay at the gas station, accompanied by them wiping their sweaty head with their shirt sleeve.
‘ja find what you were looking for?’ typically asked by the Home Depot cashier. I’m always tempted to say, ‘why no, I didn’t, so I just HAD to buy SOMETHING to get out of here, and this is what I chose, it’s a poor excuse for a purchase, but, hey, that’s just me!’
This always gets comments when I’m finished getting gas for my car, I usually buy a large 1 liter coke,
‘ja like coke?’ of course, I just smile politely, but, WHY do they feel so compelled to saying ANYTHING?? Much less something so goofy?
“NO, I hate coke, but at least I don’t get arrested for being seen drinking it, like I did when I was caught drinking the cold Bud in the car last week!”
“Muck should replace ‘suck’. For ‘muck’ is yucky, while ‘suck’ feels very lucky. So, don’t stay stuck on suck, switch to MUCK, today.”
Well, actually, Anti, I do have all the answers - haven’t you visited my “Ask The Gay Guy” thread yet? 
It’s one thing to ask someone’s honest questions about what it’s like to be gay, but it’s another when it’s some drunken idiot who is only asking me because (a) he’s drunk, (b) he just found out I was gay, or (c) he’s got some tendencies that only surface when he’s drunk.
I will admit, though, to having been cornered by straight boys or girls who were sober, but felt comfortable enough asking me after they’d gotten to know me, and I usually don’t mind those. It’s when complete strangers start in (or better yet, start arguing with me, when we all know I only do that here).
Esprix (link below)
Ask the Gay Guy! (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, Asketh the damn Priest Guy!)
“Why aren’t you smiling?”
I HATE HATE HATE that! “Why don’t you mind your own effing business?!?”
<<<<<Well, actually, Anti, I do have all the answers - haven’t you visited my “Ask The Gay Guy” thread yet? >>>>>
No, I haven’t visited, because I didn’t think I had any questions before, to do specifically with the gay lifestyle. But, I, confess I’m still amazed that someone would impose upon you in such a way. Kinda puts a damper on the night out doesn’t it??
Judy
“Muck should replace ‘suck’. For ‘muck’ is yucky, while ‘suck’ feels very lucky. So, don’t stay stuck on suck, switch to MUCK, today.”
Come visit anyway - it’s a fun thread.
Wait, my Gay Guy thread or people asking me about being gay IRL?
I started the Gay Guy thread voluntarily. If people start in on me about “what’s it like to be gay” when I’m out and about, I either decide to go with it until it bores me, or I just tell them I’m not getting into the conversation and walk away. I take control when necessary.
Esprix
Ask the Gay Guy! (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, Asketh the damn Priest Guy!)
“Do you know you look like Mark Walburg?”
God I hate that, and I DO NOT LOOK LIKE HIM!!!
“Clatu, Verrata…nector?..neck-tie?”
You look like…! Oh. You don’t.
{SIGH}
Oh, well. You’d have gotten a marriage proposal from me.
Esprix
Ask the Gay Guy! (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, Asketh the damn Priest Guy!)