You and George Carlin think alike 
I’d rather just eat the leftover pizza.
I use canned clam chowder on left over chinese white rice with green-can parmesean as a makeshift rissotto. It does take a full 90 seconds in the microwave though.
I ate entire costco demi-loaves of bread with pepperoni sticks (or slim jims) as lunch during football camp in HS.
I also have makeshift thanksgiving dinners with rotisserie chicken and grape jelly sandwiches.
PRO-TIP: Open the can first.
Beat me to it!
You’re missing half the ingredients! You need the peanut butter plus jam or marmalade on one slice of bread, another slice on top to keep the rest of the ingredients from sliding around on the jam, then the mayo, sliced swiss cheese, and lettuce, with a third slice of bread to make it complete. Squish slightly as required to fit mouth opening size.
Cereal and Pepsi. Didn’t have milk, did have Pepsi. Tasted pretty good with Cap’n Crunch.
On a side note: Why does every English food I have ever heard of sound like it was named by five year olds? Toasties, Pasties, Bubble and Squeak, meat pie, butter pie, Toad-in-a-hole…
:smack: D’oh! Too late. 
I don’t know why. Given enough time and heat, it’s self-opening. 
Self emptying too.
My stepbrother did this once, with strawberry soda and I don’t remember what kind of cereal. He didn’t want to eat what mom made for dinner, insisted on cereal, but we were out of milk. He said so what, I’ll put strawberry soda in it instead. Mom said, if you do, you’re going to sit here at the table until you finish the whole bowl. He proceeded. It was so disgusting looking. Apparently disgusting tasting too. He was still there pouting at bedtime because he couldn’t eat it. So mom said, I’ll put it in the fridge for you for breakfast. He pitched a fit and stomped up the stairs to bed. The next morning parents took pleasure in setting it out for him. It had become something that looked like pink mashed potatoes. But they let him off the hook. They weren’t that cruel, just wanted to make sure he learned a lessen… What mom makes is always better than what we can come up with!
The way to make this the breakfast of champions is to add a half cup of cold coffee. Mocha-banana-peanut butter shakes are yummy.
I’ve been eating Handful of Parmesan for years and years. Also Parmesan sprinkled on tortilla chips. There’s always spillage with that one but it’s worth it. Also Peanut Butter and Chocolate Chips on a spoon. Take a spoon full of peanut butter and dip in bag of chocolate chips, remove and eat. Oh yeah, and brown sugar popcorn. Take regular butter flavor popcorn and put it a plastic bag, sprinkle with brown sugar and stir. It’s like kettle corn on the cheap.
A can of salmon, and a can of baked beans. Mix well (breaking up the salmon if it’s chunky-style). Heat in the microwave.
My mother and sundry siblings said “ewwww” when I mentioned this dish. Never could see why.
[ul]
[li]Bake some of those frozen crinkle-cut fries. 1/3 or 1/2 package or whatever.[/li][li]When done, transfer fries to large bowl (like a mixing bowl).[/li][li]Drizzle a little olive oil on fries and toss/tumble them with a fork to coat them with the oil.[/li][li]Shake some Lawry’s Seasoned Salt on fries.[/li][li]Sprinkle some sugar on fries. Not too much.[/li][li]Toss/tumble again with fork to distribute the salt and sugar.[/li][li]Dip fries in ranch dressing as you eat them.[/li][/ul]
Soooo good.
Spaghetti Bread.
Mix your spaghetti and sauce together. Glop carefully onto two slices of garlic bread. Fold. Eat.
In a bowl, place some refried beans, then add a layer of shredded Monterrey Jack cheese. Next, add a layer of diced SPAM, and another layer of cheese over that. Stick it in the microwave for about two minutes. Add some jalapenos at the top and get some toritilla chips so you can eat it as a dip.
My go-to lazy meal when I don’t feel like cooking is scrambling an egg in the microwave with mirin, salt, and a bit of sugar. Plop that on a bowl of reheated leftover rice, plop a can of tuna on that. Light drizzle of mayo and sprinkle of nori flakes and you have a great dinner in no time at all.
Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Jar - Lazy Dessert
Hungry for a bit of dessert but don’t have any in the house? Dump a hand full of chocolate chips into the peanut butter jar, and eat them straight out of the jar with a spoon.
When I recall the morning my brother and I created the Mayonnaise and Olive Sandwich, I feel no temptation to try the peanut butter version at all.
Likewise, do not sprinkle Sweet-N-Low on your Cheerios…really, don’t.
Grown Up Beanie Weinies:
BBQ beans and any sausage but a hot dog*.
Mexican Grown Up Beanie Weinies:
Refried beans and any sausage but a hot dog*.
*Chorizo and breakfast type sausage are my go to.
**Also I usually throw in some more stuff like onions or corn or chiles.
Another one- desperation pizza.
Get a round of flat bread…the thick cuminy naan sold by Uigher street vendors in China is the classic, but any thick flatbread will do.
Mix together a package of tuna and a whole bunch of parmesan cheese from a can. Spread on the flatbread and heat the whole thing up in the microwave.