Cool things you know that you wish you didn't

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@Max_Torque

I’ve had LASIK, which means I know what burning eyeball smells like.

I had a vasectomy, so I know what burning crotch smells like…

[aruvqan]

@Baker

Not exactly the same, but related to the OP, I know that a sanitary napkin can be good in an emergency for covering a bad gash or other bloody injury. It’s clean and absorbent.

and tampons can be shoved into small caliber bullet holes…
[I asked the SEAL I was living with why he had sanitary napkins, tampons and unlubricated condoms in his medical pouch … ]
I can describe what my particular form of hand and foot chemo neuropathy feels like to someone who is used to living in a snow and cold area in terms of how frostbite encroaches the extremities …

[bump]

@aruvqan

and tampons can be shoved into small caliber bullet holes…
[I asked the SEAL I was living with why he had sanitary napkins, tampons and unlubricated condoms in his medical pouch … ]

Totally anecdotal, but my father was stationed at Kelly AFB in 1969-1973, and at one point wondered out loud why there were so many pallets of Kotex maxi pads being air-freighted to Tan Son Nhut, and was told they were used as wound dressings.

[vperry1]

@DCnDC

I know how to restrain a cat and shave its butt without help.

Please, PLEASE explain your procedure. I can’t stand the smell of my cat. Even drugged up (recommended by vet) and barely able to walk, she put up a fight that I do not want to experience ever again. I got as far clicking on the razor.

Your answer will outshine Google and Youtube.

[Gatopescado]

I know how to remove the distributor on an AMC 360, replace the drive gear with only a Crescent wrench, a nail and a rock while miles from nowhere, hand-time and get home before dinner.

Wish I didn’t have that knowledge.

[DCnDC]

@vperry1

Please, PLEASE explain your procedure. I can’t stand the smell of my cat. Even drugged up (recommended by vet) and barely able to walk, she put up a fight that I do not want to experience ever again. I got as far clicking on the razor.

Your answer will outshine Google and Youtube.

Sounds like you have a feisty one. I’d recommend you take her to either the vet or a groomer and they can show you.

I’d love to help you, but I’m not sure I can accurately describe it in a way that’s going to help you. I don’t want to write up anything that might get her hurt.

[Mahaloth]

@MrDibble

I wish I didn’t know that the same sea otters who look so cute when they’re holding hands while asleep are also inter-species rapist-murderer-necrophiliacs.

It’s a cool fact to bring out (especially when someone foolishly tries to share cute sea otter memes with me), but I nevertheless wish I didn’t know it.

Mallard ducks are also brutal.

@Ashtura

What Gwendolyn Christie looks like naked (don’t do it).

Is there a story to this one?

[kenobi_65]

I know the biological mechanisms which lead to underarm odor. Amusing cocktail-party conversation, I suppose, but grottier than I care to really know.

[zoid]

@Mahaloth

Mallard ducks are also brutal.

In my experience birds a just dicks in general. The bigger thy are the more dickish they are.

[Beckdawrek]

I know what the crunch sounds and feels like when a seat belt breaks your ribs. Certainly wish I could forget that. But, I have party favor from that day every time the weather is icky.
I know what it feels like when your college student is obviously smarter than you. I can still pretend it isn’t true when she does something stupid, which happens regularly. So, there’s that.
I wish I didn’t know how hard the grassy ground is when you fall 8 feet from a deck. Yep, fun times, fun times.

[Alpha_Twit]

Two words:

Fournier’s gangrene

No you don’t want to google it.

Only cool because the stubborn asshat kept demanding he could treat it with homeopathic remedies even as he was being carried into the ambulance.

[Beckdawrek]

Well, I certainly wish I didn’t Google that AlphaTwit. You warned me but I am stupid, and looked it up, anyway. Aaaccckkkk!

[Ashtura]

@Mahaloth

Is there a story to this one?

Not really. I just googled her and she has some tastefully done artistic nudes out there. Let’s just say some things are better left to the imagination. Just my opinion.

[Mean_Mr.Mustard]

@Procrustus

I wish I didn’t know what autopsy photos looked like.

I have a bad memory in a lot of areas, but I’ll never forget any of the autopsy photographs I’ve seen.

Try watching one live, up close and personal.
mmm

[Annie-Xmas]

I knw what a house smells like when there’s a dead body in it. For a week. In July.

Anothere “don’t google this” warning Lattie McGee

[panache45]

@DCnDC

I know what it looks like when a dump truck collides with a bicyclist at 40 mph.

I know what it looks like when a bicyclist loses his balance, and falls under an 18-wheeler’s tires. And how the truck driver reacts after learning what had happened.

[road_lobo]

@MrDibble

I wish I didn’t know that the same sea otters who look so cute when they’re holding hands while asleep are also inter-species rapist-murderer-necrophiliacs.

It’s a cool fact to bring out (especially when someone foolishly tries to share cute sea otter memes with me), but I nevertheless wish I didn’t know it.

Inter-species or intra-species? Not trying to be pedantic, but transposing murder from humans to sea otters implies intra-species killing to me (disregarding malice and premeditation).

[MrDibble]

@road_lobo

Inter-species or intra-species? Not trying to be pedantic, but transposing murder from humans to sea otters implies intra-species killing to me (disregarding malice and premeditation).

inter. Obviously, once you’ve opened the anthropomorphising door, inter-species murder is possible as well.

[markn_1]

Is every predator a murderer? It seems to me that interspecies killing is extremely common in the animal world.

[Machine_Elf]

@road_lobo

Inter-species or intra-species? Not trying to be pedantic, but transposing murder from humans to sea otters implies intra-species killing to me (disregarding malice and premeditation).

Both.

For inter-species murder, Here’s otters murdering a monkey. Otters and monkeys together in a common zoo enclosure, and the monkeys are perpetual assholes to the otters. Finally one day the otters got tired of it, and ganged together to drown one of the monkeys. See at 1:38.

For intra-species murder, look at lions. When one male dethrones another and assumes leadership of the pride, standard operating procedure is for the new king to murder the other male’s cubs. Just walk around and chew them to death.

Lion infanticide (kinda graphic)

To quote Eric Raymond:

@Eric Raymond

In reality, Nature is a violent arena of intra- and inter-species competition in which murder for gain is an everyday event…