Are there some things you’ve learned that you regret learning? About your spouse, friends, relatives…about the world in general; science facts that positively grossed you out?
Essentially, this thread is for everything you’ve learned that you would have preferred not to learn, and if you had a hottie of a Time Lord, a TARDIS, and fifteen minutes to spare, you would go back in time and prevent yourself from having learned it.
I hope my intentions for this thread have been made clear. Now, on to what inspired this thread…
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I learned the other day that my sister doesn’t always wear underwear…**
The bolding is meant to convey my horror. Now, what else have I learned that I didn’t want to know?
I was once told about the man with the largest ever recorded penis. On reflection, what my friend was saying was a load of nonsense. I shan’t repeat it.
Back in the day when this very message board allowed users to post pics, I was unfortunate enough to see the goatse pic several times. That’s the sort of thing that you can never, ever unsee, even with a lot of eyeball and brain bleach.
In a similar vein, I learned about intestinal prolapse. Again, the brain bleach doesn’t help.
I’ve had cellulitis on a few occasions. I really, really didn’t want to know what this is, and how hard it is to get rid of. And I highly recommend that you, gentle reader, do not do an image search on cellulitis.
That the bully sticks my dogs love so much (actually, one is still finishing one while leaning on my back so the other two can’t steal it), are bull penises.
I had a really good astronomy professor. He has been around for ages at the same University. So, I am sitting at business waiting my turn. Read a local mag that highlights the town. Latest places to eat, places to visit… A few human interest stories. In it happens to be the professor. They asked him his guilty pleasure that would suprise most people if they found out.
His answer?
He loves to read gothic romance novels ! A man, of science, loves to read gothic romance novels…
When my mom was going through her divorce, she revealed that – oh god, I can’t even bear to repeat it. Suffice it to say, she and my stepdad were sexually incompatible in some ways, and she felt the need to share some of the intimate details with me.
This is not described in wikipediaas a use for these “glands”. Do you have any kind of any authoritative cite for this? All I see on google are lists on keeping kosher that state it’s use in soda flavorings as a fact.
Oh god, why did you have to remind me?!? My dad got more open with me as his marriage crumbled and his pain meds increased, much to my dismay. I really didn’t need to know about the threesome where he went outside to the car trunk naked to grab the bondage gear, and the door swung shut and locked behind him. :smack:
So in my family, we’ve always had a kitchen drawer defined as a ‘junk drawer’. All the miscellaneous stuff is in there, like pens and paper and nail clippers and scissors. I was home for the weekend and just decided to see what was lurking in the junk drawer.
What was lurking in there, you ask?
A box of Viagra!
I’m not sure if the freakiest part was finding that or my mom saying it was Dad’s and it had nothing to do with her. Uh, Mom? If it has nothing to do with you, then I’d be worried about who else had something to do with it.
When I was taking a class on keeping kosher in high school, we did a section on random nonkosher additives that wouldn’t appear on the label, but are commonly used. We also had a professional mashgiach come in and talk about his job. He treated us to the tale of how it occured to people to cook up beaver butts in the first place (drunken Indians, apparently).
I had a great class on parasitology once. I actually enjoyed it, but many of my classmates would have included it in this thread. F’rinstance, the picture of a girl who had just been given a deworming medication. She was lying on her stomach, naked, and the worms formed a huge pile reaching from her crotch to her knees. Or hearing about the nasty little worm parasite whose eggs have teeth and will chew through your foot skin into your bloodstream if you are unlucky enough to step on it.
Well, there’s the TMI stuff, like my parents’ and maternal grandparents’ favorite positions, but the things I would really really really rather know nothing about:
that my grandfather’s incest taboo is extremely limited
and that both his wife and daughters would rather let him get away with it with their own children than burst these soap bubbles they live in
Oh, sure. I’ll call the local police and file a complaint on my 69yo mother and my 95+94yo grandparents, all of whom are pillars of the community and have hundreds if not thousands of people who will swear up, down and sideways that there is No Way.
“I like it when guys shave their balls because I have an oral fixation.”
-much older coworker at my first job to lil’ ol’ never-been-kissed virgin (at the time) me
“My husband can’t wait for me to get my teeth pulled 'cause he’s always wanted a blowjob from a woman with no teeth.”
-much older coworker at my current job
Postmenopausal women seem to want to confide with me Shit I Don’t Wanna Know.
What visually happens to your head if you’re in a motorcycle accident without a helmet.