Cop humour - an entertaining link

I stumbled across this recently and have to share. It’s the police activity logs from a local newspaper in Arcata, California, and whoever writes it should get a medal for services to mangling the English language.

Arcata Eye.

Please, nobody tell me it’s satire. I like believing it’s real.

1:38 p.m. Cows made it out of their pasture on to Bayside Cutoff, but proved too stupid to take their liberation from enslavement any further

:smiley:

A friend of mine attended the university in Arcata. I visit Arcata annually (I stay at the Motel 6) since it is on my “Hwy 1/101 Coast and Redwood Tour.” I never knew Arcata was so fun!

It is a sleepy little college town. It is full of liberal/vegetarian artsy-fartsy types. Somehow I think that this police log is legit. It kind of fits. (But I could be wrong.)

I especially like this one:

Thanks for the link! I am going to forward it to a cop friend of mine.

Wonderful- Thanks.

Just a sampling:

Poetry in Mundanity

I love this! I think I will copy and paste the whole entire police log and print it out. It will make great reading!

This is hilarious. Lanna lives in Arcata; I wonder if she knows about this. I’ll ask her the next time I talk to her.

Great stuff.

My mom lives in the Greenwood area in north Seattle, and the weekly newspaper had a column years ago that was almost as funny as this, Hash Ground Twice Weekly, or something.

This is a hoot. Thanks for sharing!

Humboldt county is also noted for the fine marijuana it produces.

AND MY PARTICULAR FAVORITE:

Egads, I have fallen behind on the boards. The writers for the Eye are really great, but the police logs are by far the best. Most of the crimes here involve bongos or missing washers and dryers… It’s nice that Kevin Hoover can make them so witty. I’m always clipping parts and sending them to out of town relatives.

Anyway, the site doesn’t include the HSU or Blue Lake logs, which are also rather choice. I’d recommend subscribing to my little local paper if you enjoy the Arcata reports, as chances are you’d enjoy the rest of it.
-Lanna