Wacky police blotter items

For the uninitiated, Arcata is a small town on the Northern California coast, about 4 hours north of San Francisco. It’s home to a lot of normal folks, as well as a lot of hippies, stoners, campers and other types passing through that bring spice to life and misery to residents.

The Arcata police log is written by Kevin Hoover for the Arcata Eye, and he’s got quite a way with words. Good enough to have a book published, but I’ll leave discovery of that to you.

A couple translations - The Pink House is the police station, the Intermodal Transient Facility is the bus station and the Schwazz or Plaza is a park downtown where no skateboarding, dogs or drumming are allowed.

For your enjoyment, here’s a sampling gathered from a few months’ worth of logs - hopefully, this is a small enough sample so as not to rile the copyright cops:

If you’ve got some time to kill, head over there and read it for yourself.

These are hilarious!
Thanks for the interpretations, by the way.
I’d hate to think of what ideas would’ve come to my innocent lil’ head with the phrase “Pink-Plopped”.
:wink:

On further reviewing, me thinks he may be related to ETF

:smiley:

gotpasswords, these are great!

From January 5, 2004:

Two menfolk of feistier fettle
Got testy with each other’s mettle
The crux of the gist
Was expressed via fists
Time in jail let the booze finally settle

-and-

Hospitality is surely lacking on a Park Avenue porch. Random passersby who go to sleep there are asked to leave.

Another poster (yosemitebabe, IIRC) has had a link to the Eye CopLog in her sig for a long time. I appreciate this chance to thank her for it, too; I got addicted to the Log from her link a few years ago. So much so that I took a vacation there, had a great time, introduced myself to Kevin, and had the honor of being the official “Eye” on the cover of the paper that week.

Arcata is as colorful and fun as the Log portrays it, and may just be the Cute Young Guy Capital of the World.