Police Blotter

From Cascadia Weekly’s ‘Fuzz Buzz’:
On April 11, that fellow was again spotted masturbating in Whatcom Falls Park.

On April 11, Bellingham paramedics transported a woman to the hospital after she deliberately cut her private parts with a sharp pruning tool.

On April 10, police learned a Bellingham resident had sent $1,000 to Jamaica on the instructions of someone who claimed to be an FBI agent.

In other news, roomie and I were headed to Bellingham yesterday when traffic on the freeway came to a halt. Here’s why. He has the same surname as a local propane supplier, real estate agents, and park.

From The Northern Light:
April 13: Dispatch reported that two small dogs were running loose and unattended on D Street near Allan Street. An officer arrived in the area and searched for the dogs, but they must have been really, really small.

From The Arcata [CA] Eye:

Festivities at a dainty soirée in the 400 block of Fourth Street became slightly unruly when a woman in the parking area started vomiting. A gallant male attendee clad in reversed baseball cap and camouflage jacket rushed to her aid with a somewhat unconventional form of assistance – urinating on her, then running away.

Linky no worky…moved or changed. Have a search term?

It looks like the freeway was shut down due to large amounts of snow.

Weird. It worked yesterday. When I put the guy’s name into google, that link comes up – but the paper says it’s no good. Anyway, there was a crash. Only that.

“Jonathan Vander Yacht (pronounced Throatwobbler Mangrove) 26, was driving south on I-5 near Birch Bay-Lynden Road when he lost control of his car and struck a tree in the median at about 1:15 p.m.”

Ha, inkling. I had forgotten all about the Arcata Eye police blotter. Thanks for the link, which I bookmarked.

Yes, indeed. I used to read it. Didn’t we have someone one the board complaining about a woman looking in his window? Coincidence?

Oh, great. You do realize that Arcata Eye police blotter is an irresistable time-devourer, don’t you? Just what I need…

Is it all a spoof?