I don’t work for a corporation, but let me suggest one:
Golden Parachute.
You hear this on the news a lot, usually with regard to corporate execs who took the money and ran as their companies imploded. Most people think it means “a soft landing, because it is lined with money.” Actually, it’s “a soft landing with money for you, a golden shower for everybody else.” 
The PC marketing industry now refers to every product as a “solution,” e.g. "Here is your new 6.1 Dolby Digital surround sound solution!!!. No, it is a just set of speakers, get over it.
Haha, I like that. Here is your new stereo, which as an added bonus feature is the solution to ALL your problems - not only does it find you a better house, job, car, and a life parter [THERE’s another one, by the way], it provides you with a purpose to your life and the meaning behind the whole of existence. 
that should be “just A set of speakers” A “just set” of speakers would imply something biblical. :smack:
“Managing expectations.” If I hear it one more time I’m going to have to hurt someone.
“efforting” <shudder> synonymous with ‘trying’. It’s worth than “utilizing”, for cryin’ out loud!
Just a side note… a parking lot is not so much cvhatting about it into your cars… the idea is if people start taking an idea or an issue off topic, you “park” the side question issues and treturn to it later. the place where these questions go is the parking lot.
I didn’tmake it up. I swear
“downsizing”, which originally refered to compact cars now means to fire people.
I can’t stand phrases like “on board,” “on my plate.” “Are you on board with this?” “What’s on your plate now?” And another thing I hate hearing is that people are going to “shoot” me an email. Why not write me an email? It’s much less violent.
Then there’s the “corporate initiative.” Why not just say agenda? Or this is what we want to accomplish? I’m only three and a half years out of college. When I started working in the corporate world, it was like working in another country with all the catch phrases that are bandied about. Sheesh. English Comp never prepared me for words like that!
“team player” = do what the boss says tells you to do
“strong work ethic” = willing stay at the office 14 hours a day and weekends without getting paid extra, even if there is no work to do
“on the fast track” = team player with a strong work ethic (i.e. a sycophant with no life)
“your investment is…” = my fee is…
The term “giving 110%” or any variation thereof that is greater than “100%” absolutely drives me nuts!! Besides, when do I not give my best?
Also using “deltas” outside of a scientific or data context just sounds kinda hokey.
“Unfortunately, due to the high number of qualified applicants…”
I can deal with everything but letters prefaced with that. Except possibly nothing at all.
As a friend of mine likes to say, “All nouns can be verbed.”
Empower. Do you feel empowered to make decisions?
Sure, but if you make the wrong one, they’ll cut your nuts off.
Also proactive and team. And all the other words on the OP’s list. It’s Orwellian Newspeak. twist the language till it means nothing at all.
Oh, so many choices.
But my least favourite is “utilize.” It’s “use,” for the love of Christ.
As per a post above, ‘fast-tracking’ as a compound verb.
“Let’s fast-track this stupid crap!”
Also, almost any abbreviation that ends with ‘tech’ is going to cause problems.
In the same vein, “to status”, as in, “I’ve statused the employees on the situation, and hopefully they will soon resolve it.”
The managing partner of a law firm I worked at called its young associates “RPUs,” for “revenue-producing units.” And then he had sweatshirts made up with a design of a bar code with “RPU” underneath it.
Safe to say that wasn’t his most popular action ever. Talk about dehumanizing. :eek:
This one is horrible. It makes my skin crawl especially hearing someone who thinks he deserves to be on the management track saying it in order to sound more management.
But it gets worse. I used to work for an agribusiness giant that had a meat division. What was it called?
MEAT SOLUTIONS!
Got a problem with an unfaithful spouse? We’ve got a solution! A MEAT solution!
I think that using “solution” like this is ironic since in corporations, there are not problems, just opportunities. So what does the solution solve?
Another is differential used to mean “difference”.
Role as in “that is not my role here” meaning I could probably help but I don’t want to and that is not one of the “deliverables” that my “value” is “measured” on.
OK so let us add VALUE, DELIVERABLES, and MEASURED to ROLE.
Today rather than going to work I have decided that my role will be deliver myself a valuable and immeasurable amount of satisfaction by sitting on my porch and reading Amy Hemple’s Reasons to Live while drinking ice tea.