I’m in IT, and a software vendor we’ve been dealing with for the past year uses the term “Parking Lot Issues” to denote the last things you discuss at a meeting. Presumably this term originates from the idea is that everyone is so reluctant to break up the meeting that discussion continues as everybody walks out to their cars.
Good list. Again, George Carlin likes to talk about a number of words I think of as corporate-speak, even if that’s not exactly what some of them are. The whole making-a-noun-into-a-verb thing drives me insane.
Interpersonal is a bad one. But you forgot the biggie:
NETWORK. Especially when it’s a verb.
Rather than saying “Write us a report about the effects of the blah tax on efficiency and equity” they say “The key deliverable is the circulation of an exposure draft around blah tax issues.”
“flexibility” means work the hours we ask you to, don’t complain. But they’re never flexible with our wages.
“opportuninty for growth” means you’ll start off in a junior position, and we’ll keep on dumping more and mor work on your desk, whether you like it or not.
but yes, the one I loath is “ownership” especially when it’s used to mean “mistake” like this:
Whos prepared to take ownership of this
actually means
who’s bloody mistake was this?
I’ve recently gotten totally sick of the phrase “working with,” which seems to crop up in both corporate and government spheres. It goes something like this:
“We have recognized the challenges posed by the large number of rampaging kill-bots in the parking lot and are currently working with the building management to address the issue.”
This translates to: “We know that you think we should be doing something about the rampaging kill-bots, but we really don’t know what to do and think it’s the janitor’s problem, anyway, so we called him up and said 'Hey! How ‘bout dem kill-bots? Shouldn’t you be doing something about them?’”
Those are my most-hated, and my husband (who works for the same company) occasionally uses them at home. I’ve taken to screaming “LA LA LA LA LA” during the rest of his sentence to make him stop.
Right-sizing as a “nice” word for firing hundreds of people.
Has anyone seen that (I think) Sprite commercial where they use the phrase “strategized markitecture?” Oh my God. I await with horror the day that makes it into the lingo around here. That’s the day I set something on fire.
