Corsage etiquette....

Okay, I realize this isn’t exactly MPSIMS, but it seems like this sort of “soft” question gets posted here a lot more than GQ. So here goes.

I’m going to a dance in December with a friend of mine with whom I’m slightly enamored. She’s a high school senior; I’m a college sophomore. (Yes, I know, but really it’s not that big an age gap - she’s 18, I’m 19.) Anyways, it’s not my high school, so I don’t know the general inner workings like I did at my school.

It’s a homecoming-style dance (“Snow Ball” HA!) - read, prom dresses for girls, blue shirt/tan pants for guys. I plan on being slightly overdressed, as usual. I’m not sure whether to get her a corsage, since it seems like a corsage event but I understand that a lot of these types of things don’t end up being corsage occasions.

Do I a) Get her a corsage regardless, hoping to score brownie points if it’s a non-flower evening? or b) Just ask first and risk losing the moment? c) Just not buying a corsage is, obviously, a nonoption.

Thanks for putting up with me.

Get a corsage. So what if it isn’t a corsage occasion? Making the extra gesture shows you care. I don’t suggest you go completely over the top but I think the extra effort will be appreciated. It’s not something to score “Brownie points” it’s doing something nice because you want to, period.

Have fun at the dance Ace

Absolutely buy a corsage. But DO ask ask her her color preference.

Get a corsage, but don’t tell her you’re going to do it. Instead, ask her what color her dress is (you know, just in the course of conversation…) and then buy the flowers to match. That way, you’re interested in what she’s wearing AND buying surprise flowers. Win-win.

And make sure it’s a wrist corsage. Saves you the awkwardness of pinning it on, and you eliminate the chance that she won’t be able to wear it because of the cut of her dress.

Get a corsage. I agree with Juniper that you should make it a wrist corsage. When you go order the corsage, know what color dress she’s wearing. If she’s not specific about the color, you can always get white roses and have them add a ribbon once you find out the color of the dress.

Also, think about the size of the corsage. If she’s small/petite, get something that is appropriate for someone her size. I can’t tell you how many people would come in and order coursages with 5 roses and it practically took up the girl’s entire arm. If she’s tall, you can go with something bigger, but don’t overdo it.

If you are close with her family, you could try asking a mother or sister what dress she will be wearing. I would think any of them would be more than willing to help with a sneaky surprise. Maybe you could ask a mutual friend.

Worst thing that happens is that you blow a few bucks on the corsage that doesn’t get worn because its not that kind of shindig. You still did a nice gesture.

Just my $0.02, but I like presentation bouquets over wrist corsages. She gets to walk in looking like Miss America-esque flowers and she doesn’t have to fuss with them riding her wrist all night.

Just another idea.

Oh god, mate - ask her! No surprises on early dates! She wants to look nice, she’s been thinking and planning her look and the flowers might not be, well, practical.

Ask her. Then if she says “no I don’t want no stinkin’ corsage” you’ve earned those points for asking, and can put your money into some other delightful treat.

If you really want to do well - buy her mother flowers. Just a simple bunch of good quality flowers, that you hand her when you arrive to pick up your date. This small gesture will have everyone thinking “what a sweet old fashioned boy” even if you’re not, and you’ll have a formidable force in your favour in her own home. For keeps!

Tell your girl on the way to the dance “my mother said I should always buy flowers for the mother of a girl I really liked. I hope you don’t mind.” Then never ever refer to them again.

Hope it goes really well for you mate! Just be yourself, in any case. That ALWAYS works out.
Ol’Uncle Red

I’d say get a pin-on corsage. Wrist corsages just scream out “high school prom”, and if it doesn’t end up being a corsage event it will look ackward, whereas a simple pin-on will always look nice.

I also second the flowers-for-mom idea. I had a guy do that once and my Mom raved about it for weeks.

That would be true for adults. Adults make the mistake that formal means flowers and it’s simply not true. A formal occasion doesn’t always call for flowers. At the flower shop I worked at, we made corsages for formal events and then we would roll our eyes after they left. In this instance Thinksnow is correct that presentation flowers is the best bet here.

The only exception to this rule is for high school dances. I don’t know if it’s because corsages are kept as keepsakes or boys trying to impress girls or what, but a corsage is always appropriate for high school formal events. If the ladies are dressing up, you can feel safe that most of them will have corsages.

If the girls there dress the way they dress here (strapless or spaghetti straps), there’s not going to be room for a pin-on corsage. That’s why it’s always safe to get a wrist corsage. The corsage is usually made first and then placed on the wrist lace/cardboard thingy and then it’s held there by bending the metal prongs around the flower stem.

If you prefer the look of a pin-on, you can ask your florist for a couple of pins. If your date would rather have a pin-on corsage and her dress allows for it, you can always unhook the corsage from the wrist part.