Cost of a child in sports

I was talking with a coworker about her daughter, who plays softball. This is a middle-school girl, so she’s probably about 12-13. She’s on her school team as well as travelling teams. The parents have about 3 weekends per year where they aren’t travelling to games. They have two younger daughters as well. I thought that kids who played on their school teams just had to buy shoes for the right sport, and the schools provided the uniforms, etc. Apparently this is not so. She said that all told, with uniforms, fees, camps, private coaches and travelling, they paid $17,000 for their kid to play softball. They’re hoping it pays off down the road in a college scholarship.

It seems to me that it’s unfair to drag the younger girls to all these gamess, many out of town. I’m sure they can’t have time to do the extracuricular activities they might want to do. And it seems to me it would be far wiser to put that money into a college fund, if a good education is what you’re hoping for. I know these aren’t rich people - that $17K probably represents about 2/3 of her take-home pay, and her husband is a small-time contractor.

Now, if this child is fabulously gifted and has a potential professional career, spending out that kind of time and money might be worth it. And she’s apparently good. But not that good. Her mother said the college scouts were looking for general utility players. It seems unfair to the younger daughters to monopolize the family resources on one child.

I guess this goes along with the $65,000 wedding thread. What is your opinion?

StG

Most of your reasons for disagreeing with their actions are conjecture.

You do not know:

-whether it negatively impacts the other daughters, financially or time-wise.
-whether it’s a drain on the family’s finances.
-whether the girl in question might need the athlete’s admission boost that exists at every university, to get her into the one she wants.
Pretty much every reason you have to object is based on an assumption you’ve made.

If it doesn’t hurt anyone, why not do it? For every asshole hockey dad out there, there are five or six kickass softball moms or soccer dads who genuinely LOVE watching their kid do something that makes the kid happy.

Professional women’s softball? Does that actually exist?

That said, it’s their money, and apparently that’s how they want to spend their leisure.

Both of my kids are invovled in sports. For us the financial commitment is well below $1,000/year for both. Time involved is fairly significant, but not totally overwhelming.

Happy Scrappy Hero Pup -

I do know they travel out of town almost every weekend for games and have games or practices every weeknight. That means to me the other girls don’t get to do what they want because they have to be sitting at some ball field. Although, to be fair, I guess spending all weekend in a strange town at a ball field might be what they want to do. It doesn’t seem likely, though.

I know roughly how much the wife makes, although certainly not the gross family income.

I know the girl is a straight-A student, although to get into Vanderbilt (what she says she wants now) she might need that extra edge.

But you’re right - I’m not a fly on the wall. They could be rolling naked in their extra cash and maybe their younger kids (who aren’t athletic according to their mom) might by happy with their noses in a book while at the ball fields.

Shib - No there isn’t (as far as I know) pro softball. That’s why I think it’s insane to spend money with no hope of return.

StG

wow, that’s a lot.

I rowed for years and I still think spending on crew maxed at around $1000 a year (at UF it was significantly less expensive, at that). And crew even has the ridiculously expensive equipment that you’d expect. that $17k for all that softball wouldn’t even buy a 3rd tier new racing shell. Even so, the amount of money they’ve managed to spend is outrageous. I know a girl who got a college softball scholarship, and all she did was play on the HS team.

That’s pretty much all I’m saying. When I was younger, oddly enough, I didn’t care a lick about sports. As long as I had a book to read, it didn’t matter where I was. My parents could have brought me to gladiatoral combat games and I wouldn’t have even noticed.

I would like to emphasize this- and people don’t think it exists, but I cannot stress enough that the athlete “bump” exists everywhere. Even places you think it doesn’t. Either coaches submit a list of recommendations to the admissions committee (who are “considered,” but almost universally admitted), or they get an application stamped “athlete” that the coach sends if you contact him, etc.

I can state for an absolute certainty (because I’ve been involved in each school’s process) that this happens at an Ivy League school, a Seven Sisters school, a small Jesuit university, and a major Southern university, all of which are good schools and some of which you’d NEVER believe gave extra consideration to athletes. And I’ll tell you this: if I had to spend $17k to give my daughter a better shot at a top-flight education, I’d consider that money well spent.

That seems awfully high, but within the realm of possibility. I’ll bet most of it is travel expenses. A tournament can be very expensive if the family goes - airfare for three = $1000, three nights in a hotel = $300 plus food and rental car and tournament fees, etc. Every tournament could run $1500 + if three go.

I have a kid who’s 15 and has been on a team like that for years, and I’d guess I spend around $4000 a year all told. No private coach, but a couple out of state tournaments and a summer camp every year.

My guess is that an elite musician costs the same for lessons, instrument, etc.

I have a daughter in cheerleading (football). $160/year for the privilege, add in uniforms (game and practice), shoes, accessories, game fees (it costs me $3 per game to see my own daughter, for crissakes), and the formal final party ($25 per person tickets and at least $100 in dresses, and such).

Now she wants to get into competition cheerleading. $600/year plus all the aforementioned stuff as well as driving all over Florida going to the competitions monthly. I put a quick “no” to that.

If you have 17K a year to spend and your only concern is getting into a top school, there are better ways to spend it than on select softball. A good college counselor starting in middle school who can help you build a whole resume, for one. I would still think that was obsessive, but if that’s what you want, that’s the way to do it.

On the other hand, if a kid has a deep and genuine passion, you hate to hold them back. And that can be a passion for sports, art, academics, whatever. However, I’d be leary of being taken for a ride–I’ve known coaches who promise the sun, moon, and stars to kids and without the background or the objectivity to see the real situation, parents and kids alike get taken in. Parents need to do their research, and not just listen to coaches and the other parents that have already fallen under that coach’s sway.

In my experience as a HS teacher, I have certainly seen parents shill out thousands of dollars for athletics. I would say the biggest single expense is one not mentioned in the OP–all the damn medical care. You play a sport four, five hours a day, you blow out your knees, wear out your ankles, develop shinsplints, rip chunks of your own elbow off, break your wrist, and, on one notable occasion this year, hit poles as fast as you can run. With your face. Each of these leads to trips to the emergency room, surgery, boots/braces, rehab . . . Honestly, my biggest concern with these kids is that when they throw everything into a sport and then have one of these injuries, they collapse–their whole reason for being is gone. If it’s something they can come back from, they are ok in the long run, but when it’s not–and many times all that surgery and rehab means they are ok but not what they were–then they really struggle to move past it. You can’t be that dedicated to something and have a backup plan. There isn’t time for one.