A friend of mine (I’m french) fell in love with an american guy…over the net. She intend to meet him in the US, but she would like to see a picture of him before (which seems an extremely reasonnable request to me).He promised to send one quite a long time ago, but still didn’t. He wouldn’t have any recent one, and said that it was rather costly in the US to have a picture taken (he’s a poor student)
Well…I can understand that there could be price differences for the same service or product in France and in the the US, but I’ve a hard time believing that it could that costly, even for a poor guy.
So, how much does it cost to have a picture of yourself taken in the US?
With digital cameras the cost is virtually zero. Even so, how hard would it be for him to dig up some sort of group picture with him in it? Nah, the guy’s bluffing.
He’s lying. He can put a dollar into a machine that will give 4 wallet-sized prints. A friend can take pictures, too, and a friend with a digital camera can send it right over to your friend; he doesn’t need to go to a studio, and anyone who can’t think of a way to get a picture over there doesn’t really want to.
He could go to a photo cabinet in a mall and get 4 pictures for a few bucks.
He could scan and e-mail his driver’s licence, student I.D. or passport photo.
He could get a friend with a camera to snap his picture.
For less than $15 he could buy a disposable camera, take 27 pictures of himself doing fun and fabulous things and get them processed at Wal-Mart.
In short: there’s no excuse. He just doesn’t want your friend to see a picture of him.
Thanks for your answers. That’s more or less what I expected. Though I wasn’t sure about the photo cabinet since i’ve read american posters on a travel board complaining about having difficulty to get a passport-sized pictures, so I thought perhaps photo cabinets were uncommon in the US and one had to go to a studio. I thought about a friend taking pictures, but not about disposable cameras (not sure why…I’ve one just in front of me at the moment) or scanning a student ID. These are good arguments.
As for why, I’m not sure. He gave a description of himself, which wasn’t particulary attractive, so it’s not like he wanted her to believe he’s an incredibly handsome guy. The only thing I can think of is that perhaps he’s much older than he pretends to be (wouldn’t she guess it from his voice, though? hmmm…not necessarily, of course)
Why bother continuing the relationship? Well…this one is easy : she’s in love.
Related to that, I’ve another question : knowing the name of the guy and the name of the university where he’s studying, is there some easy way to know if this person is actually a student there?
There doesn’t have to be a sinister reason for him not wanting to send his picture. It doesn’t mean he’s on the FBI’s ten most wanted list. Maybe he’s just had a really bad haircut.
Just a quick FYI: I just applied for new passports for my daughters (their old ones had expired), and it took all of five minutes to get passport photos at the local Kinkos (a chain store in the US that makes copies, binds publications, etc.) They weren’t the best photos, but they were just what the pasport folks wanted…
Most American universities of any size have a student directory on their webpage (sometimes just for email, sometimes for more info). You could search his institution’s directory for his name, but students are usually able to opt out for privacy reasons, so if he’s not listed, it wouldn’t be a guarantee that he was lying.
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FYI - There is a difference between “passport-sized” photos and “passport” photos for US passports.
The US Passport Agency can be pretty picky about photos they will accept for US passports. When I renewed my passport, I was provided a detail sheet listing all the requirements for an acceptable set of photos. The detail sheet was even more stringent than listed by the Department of State. It could be because I was overseas at the time, but those details specified (above and beyond what is found in the preceeding link) that the photos must be in color, must be of a satin finish and on a particular grade of photo paper. With the added requirements, I had to visit a professional photograher and ask for the US-standard, not to mention folk over US$25.00 for a set of six photos.
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FWIW, the guy is being an ass. Ask your friend to dump him now. He’s not worth it and there are more sincere and honest guys out there. Even from America, too!
Maybe he’s someone really really famous, and is trying to determine if your friend loves him for himself and not his fame and fortune. The picture would give him away! Yeah, that’s the ticket!
As for telling her to dump him, she’s adult and I’m not her legal guardian. All I can do is pointing out what appears suspicious to me.
Plus…let’s imagine voguevixen is right…she would hate me forever
