I seem to have acquired another teenager somehow. At my youngest’s high school is a boy who won the shitty-parent lottery. Their idea of parenting is feed 'em and ignore 'em until they can legally toss them onto the street at 18. A continuing series of harsh treatment, arguments and lack of care has resulted in the poor kid appearing on our doorstep in tears, having walked 8 miles with nothing but his clothes. No phone, no money, no idea how what to do.
Now for the real kicker… this is my daughter’s boyfriend (has been for a couple of years). Yeah. What could possibly go wrong here? :rolleyes:
Originally, I thought the tales pullinDaughter told were probably exaggerated, being filtered thru teens (one of which was spinning tales of woe for his GF). Having met the 'rents, I’ve concluded the kids weren’t critical enough. Simply put, these are two of the most horrible people I’ve ever met. Mom’s life plan seems to be: Acquire Thug BF --> squirt out kid -> repeat step one with new TBF. The latest in the series of bad-boys has disavowed any responsibility for the kids that aren’t his (only one is ‘his’). This apparently means none of his earnings can be used for my afore-mentioned couch-surfer. Mom has no dough, dad wants him out of the house, and apparently this kid with no car, money, skills etc. is supposed to figure out life and manage on his own now.
We’ve taken in a teen before in this situation (two years until adulthood), but the second paragraph (above: “real kicker”) seriously complicates this problem.
So to my question. What the hell do I do? I pride myself on seeing solutions to most problems quickly and accurately, but I’m at sea here. Due to the romantic involvement with my kid, there are waaaay too many red flags to let him move in. I don’t know who to call, or even what the rights of an 18 yr old are in this situation. With a variety of additional expenses (not to mention my own kid’s college) I’m having to be more thrifty than in the past. The economy has affected us like everyone else since the last time we acquired a wayward teen. Providing this one with a car, apartment, etc. isn’t really an option. CPS doesn’t seem to provide for 18+ kids unless they’ve already been in their care.
If you’re still reading, a few examples of these lovely parents:
- In 4 years of high school, never attended anything for him. No games (w one exception), no ceremonies, no awards, nothing. It’s just been us (we cheer for him like idiots, but I think it helps to know we’re always there.)
- Once when I visited their house, Thugdad ordered all women to the back of the house since it was time “for the men to talk”. I’m not making this up. “Ordered”, not “asked”.
- Refused to pay for ACT, SAT, etc. Without us he wouldn’t have a chance at college.
- Refused to transport him anywhere, ever. He’s ridden with us (or others) the entirety of his school life.
I could go on (and on and on) but I’ve probably crossed the TLDR boundary already.
Any advice? Can CPS intervene at this age? I’m almost out of ideas.