Bats did waste Drac. Twice. Once in the “Red Rain” Elseworlds by puncturing his heart; and also in “Batman versus Dracula” the animated movie where he zorched Dracula with a device that “stores sunlight.”
Besides, Dracula isn’t “people.” You can’t “kill” the undead. So there are no moral problems to overcome.
Insubstantial mist has a head?
Insubstantial mist isn’t a problem either. Kal munches on a head of garlic he had stashed in his cape, then uses his super-breath to inhale Drac. He then can exhale the now-extinguished vampire remnants into the sun. Either Drac dies and remains mist, or he resumes his physical form inside Superman’s lungs, which squishes him into vampire jelly. No problem in either case.
Superman is so uptight and a ridiculous parody of a normal man, I highly suspect he’s deeply closeted. Drac would just charm the pants off him. I give this one to Drac.
But can Dracula crucify himself?
Superbreath. (or super-freezing breath if you prefer). Yes, Supes is pretty unimaginative, but he’s not completely dense.
Superman is the master of Super-hypnotism, so there’s no way Dracula could be him that way.
Superman could also fly into the past, borrow the Lone Ranger’s gun, and shoot Dracula with a silver bullet which would totally kill the vampire.
Are you saying he sucks? 'Cause he’d be the first to admit, yeah, I guess so.
There’s a recurring idea of using cold against Dracula here. What evidence is there that it would have the slightest effect on him? One of the few constants about vampires in popular entertainment is that there are only a very few things that can harm them. Generally, these are
- Getting staked through the heart. (this one isn’t even necessarily permanent)
- Exposure to sunlight.
- Garlic is shown to be repellent to them, but not necessarily damaging.
- Holy water burns them much as a strong acid might burn a human.
I’m increasingly convinced many of Superman’s strengths are actually of little use here.
Physically or on straight up supernatural/superhuman terms, there’s no comparison. The only way for Dracula to win is to seduce Kal-El with his old school, aristocratic Eurocool. Start by biting Lois Lane or someone, then get her to sell Supes on the allure of an eternal un-life in the Everdark.
Dracula don’t suck. DRACULA SCRAPE AND LICK!
Max friggin’ Lord, deceased, mind-controlled Supes. All one needs to do is get the drop on Supes.
I’m reminded of this exchange from Love At First Bite
These are the ways of permanently destroying the Count (though a Holy Water bath might also work. With the stake, one must also cut off the head and some say fill the mouth with holy wafers.
Nah. No matter how he tries, he can never bang that last nail in.
Can Superman’s heat vision destroy Dracula? If so, the battle lasts nanoseconds.
Easy peasy. Set up crucifix. Attach nails in appropriate places, but don’t drive them all the way in. Turn to mist. Re-materialize in crucified position.
Enjoy,
Steven
In this issue a common vampire named Ellie Mae Skaggs almost kills superman by using her hypnotic powers. Her claws (and presumably teeth) were able to slash him because she’s magical.
He literally was moments away from being killed by her, but Batman staked her with what looked like a 10 foot fencepost.
I’m sure our Wallachian buddy would have a better chance than the dear departed Ms. Skaggs.
Doesn’t matter if getting staked is permanent or not. Once Supes stakes him and renders him powerless, Superman merely picks him up and carries him into space where non-atmospherically weakened sunlight can hit Dracula full on. Then the dust is blown away on the solar winds.
Jack Handey: “I wish I had a kryptonite cross, so I could be safe from Dracula and Superman!”