Could I undergo a Scientology "Auditing" and remain in control?

I know cults are supposedly strong, but they’re usually dealing with very vulnerable people who are sincerely searching for a meaning to life. I wonder how far someone who is of sound mind, skeptical, and terribly cynical, would be able to get up the Great Green Throbbing Ladder of Zargon Seven - or whatever the Scientology hierarchy is called - before being found out?

Would I be able to go through the motions of belief*, or would eventually I succumb, despite my best intentions? In order to convince fellow Scientologists that I was sincere, how much “Dianetic Auditing” would I be able to endure before I either started actually to believe it, or got outed as a non-believer? Anyone had any experience with this sort of nonsense?

*Of course this is moot, since I wouldn’t actually want to part with any money.

We did a thread on brainwashing & related stuff not too long ago, lemme see…

Best defense against “good cop - bad cop” tactics (not just in police interrogation)?

If you don’t immediately see the connection between “good copy / bad cop” techniques and scientology, you better read up before you place yourself in the tender hands of any cult.

I had a lengthy stress test interrogation once at the Scientology center in Hollywood.

The poor guy giving me the test was really grasping at straws. I did go in with an open mind so I wasn’t being dodgy about it. I was just in a really good place at the time. Finally the guy was just tossing out these random non-sequitor questions but finally he asked one that did actually get an emotional response (the ‘stress needle’ spiked for a moment) it was then that he whipped out “Dianetics” and started the hard sell.

All I can say is, look what it did to Tom Cruise. :eek:

Yeah, you remember old jjimm - fairly together guy, right? Well I hear he got involved with Scientology - said he was just gonna go to see what they had to say. Haven’t heard from him since - someone said he’d got a job in Maine, as John Travolta’s butler, but I dunno. Miss him.

When I was in High School I had a friend who was a Scientologist, well her mom was, so she was (she’s not anymore) and as a favor to her I went in and had an interview and took the test. Basically they told me what they thought I wanted to hear, which even at 16 you know is BS, but I will admit it was attractive BS (I wasn’t just a somewhat bright immature selfish pedestrian white kid, I was really a misunderstood genius iconoclast). Then she (my friend) asked me to take part in some sort of youth activity skit thing which was totally creepy and Hitler youthian (I pretty much had to repeatedly and ultimately, aggressively say no to a room full of people my age, getting a lot of negative social feedback).

Basically its yet another manifestation of how stupidly exploitive and exploitable we humans can be (me included, I didn’t fall for scientology but did fall for booze, cuz I am a misunderstood genius iconoclast). Realistically if you have you shit together you should be fine up to a point (like the point right before you stop spending time with anyone not in of the cult).

So be honest with yourself…do you regularly challenge others, and your own (especially your own) assessment of situations and realize mistakes you have made…or are you more of a “this is what I think and I am sticking too it” kind of person? If you are more the second type I wouldn’t fuck around because you may not notice yourself getting sucked in until its too late, and then you might not be mentally flexible enough to get yourself out. Playing chicken with cults, especially boringly dumbass ones like scientology, is probably not worth the time, much less the risk.

If you were going to infiltrate some kind of neo-Wagnerian Viking death cult, as opposed to say an extremely hokey pyramid scheme/rip off, then it might be worth the risk and the time. Think of the cool stories you would have to tell about neo-Wagnerian Viking death cults, and if you got sucked in, then hey, think of all the non-consensual sex the leader will have with you before they set you on fire.

I honestly think Scientology is a “whatever” religion with many paths. The Mythos is unfairly characterized and probably just a an archetypical tool. As faras pragmatism, I would probably trust Tom Cruise over GW.

According to the Penthouse interview with L. Ron Jr., part of auditing involves telling all the details of your sex life. Then, if they don’t want you to leave or turn against them they can blackmail you with this information.

There are allegations on anti-COS websites that they have imprisoned people (as part of an “Introspection Rundown”) who they regarded as threats, and that you have to sign waivers that allow this and protect them from suits if you are harmed or killed. Presumably that sort of business wouldn’t be an issue unless you were important and high up in the church, far beyond basic auditing courses.


That is everything you need to know about Tom Cruise.

Tom Cruise has a sex-life?



You might want to test the waters by first joining the Church of the SubGenius™. They’re not as “kooky” as the Scientologists, and with the Church of the SubGenius™, the Brainwashing is optional, and DIY. Few people leave with their sanity intact, though few join as such. And I’d recommend putting your wallet in a safe place if you go to any of their Devivals (you could, uh, leave it with me, for instance).

Hail Bob!

Sheee-it! You’re braver than I. If I had to live next door to one of them, I’d choose. GW. As long as Cheney doesn’t come around wanting to hunt quail in W’s back 40, I think I’d manage.

Cruise, however, just sends my skeeve meter slamming off the charts. ::::Shudder::::

I couldn’t agree more!

Heh, that wouldn’t work with me. I have no trouble with anyone knowing about my sex life.

You could prepare yourself by having someone read you the works of HP Lovecraft in the voice of Anthony Robbins.

Um, no, they’re not, not at all. They’re an extremely controlling organization and they don’t tolerate any way but their’s. There are not “many paths”.
I don’t think it would be too hard to make it through a single audit session, as long as you go in prepared. Do what Christopher Reeve did-make up a bunch of bullshit and try to see if they go for it.

I knew there was a reason I always cross the street when walking past the Scientiology building in Toronto.

My sex life is so pathetic that revealing it would not rate even a mention in the gossip pages. No children out of wedlock, no orgies, no frantic trysts on the beach, no bathhouse cruises, no high-priced hookers (or low-priced hookers either), no wardrobe malfunctions while clubbing, no stimulants or other substances, no unusual hardware, software or wetware…

I’m almost embarassed to call myself a pagan.

Explain please.

Apparently, it helps if you can bullshit using mythology.

Christopher Reeve described his encounter with Scientology in his book Nothing is Impossible:

So, jjimm, polish up on your Greek mythology before starting your Scientology adventure! Reeve used Theseus, but there’s plenty more where that came from.