Could James Bond catch the Road Runner?

The Road Runner always seems to evade the gadgets that Wile E. Coyote buys from Acme, which never work.
James Bond always seems to evade the villains with the amazing gadgets built by Q Branch, which always work.

If he wanted to (I don’t know why MI6 would make him do this, but that’s another thought entirely), could James Bond catch the Road Runner?

(I am aware that the Coyote attempted to catch the Road Runner with a spy car in one of the cartoons that was shipped out to DePatie-Freling back when Warner Bros. didn’t have a cartoon studio. But that doesn’t count, as the Coyote doesn’t know how to use spy gadgets. James Bond does.)

Sure. Not saying the Roadrunner was an idiot or anything, but remember: most of the time he escaped not because of anything special he did or any smart evasive maneuveurs, but simply because of Wile’s incompetence/bad luck/poor choice in equipment manufacturer. James Bond lacks all of those.

Yoo know sooner or later James Bond would wind up in bed with Bugs Bunny in drag.

Hah! I wonder what Bugs’ ‘Bond Chick’ suggestive name would be?

No, Q has sadly passed on, and Monty Python type gadget stuff Bond will be using now will just backfire the way the Acme stuff does. Bond would be better advised just to sleep with Roadrunner.

Well, I have heard that the Roadrunner is “fast” . . .


Bond has a license to kill, not to catch, so I can’t say for sure.

But my WAG is that the Road Runner will catch Bond. Then, instead of killing Bond IMMEDIATELY, he’ll peck around to no real end, Bond will get loose, and jury rig an Acme rocket to roast the Roadrunner on a spit.

Agreed. Bond would have to let himself get caught by the Roadrunner first, before he could kill him. Perhaps tricking the Roadrunner into showing up and mockingly waggling his tongue at Bond after an “ACME device” (In reality, a Q-Branch device designed to mimic a malfunctioning ACME product) backfires, would be close enough to “being captured” to allow Bond to kill that damnable bird.

The real question is: What pithy comment would 007 make after the Roadrunner dies?

“tastes like chicken.”
“needs more ketchup”

“Meep. MEEP Meep.”

Granted the Coyote’s failures were usually a result of his bad luck and/or stupidity, but I think the Roadrunner does have some special powers. For example, if one of James Bond’s spy gadgets was spy paint that allowed him to paint a tunnel entrance on the side of a rock, the Roadrunner could run through it. So he might have enough tricks up his sleeve to evade Bond.

The more I’m thinking about it, the more I’m wondering if the Roadrunner is one of Bond’s spy gadgets.

My head hurts.

I dunno. While Bond has a great bunch of gadgets, the Roadrunner seems to have magical powers. Take for instance his ability to seemly run through solid rock, with a tunnel painted on it. It is a real tunnel for him, and a solid one for the Coyote. Also, if we look, he can walk into the middle of a well-laid trap, but the firing mechanism never seems to spring until after the Coyote tries the same thing. I think in this case, Roadrunner wins.

Leika Rabbit

Somebody here has dangerous quantities of spare time.

the roadrunner CANNOT escape an antimatter explosion. when bond gets something along that lines, Roadrunner is Roadkill.

And james bond would use something to distract the roadrunner as he sets up that missle. like that ridiculous nearly 100% alcohol. then roadrunner would walk off a cliff, and I doubt, since roadrunner doesn’t seem to have defensive capabilities besides being really F-ing fast, and since running isn’t all that useful in freefall, it just has to be Bond, who will enjoy a nice meal of chicken and booze.

I imagine the Road Runner being thrown up into the air and falling into Bond’s arms, to which he responds, “That’s the first time I’ve ever enjoyed being given the bird.”

That needed plucking?

A real metaphysical problem might be… could Bugs Bunny catch the Road Runner? This would be an epic battle, indeed.

However, while Bugs is exceedingly clever and capable of minor magic like pulling gadgets out of nonexistent pockets, the key to his character is that he minds his own business and usually doesnt start trouble. Once abused or provoked though, hes a real stinker and always get revenge.

The Road Runner, on the other hand, is not so much a personality as a force of nature. He seldom does anything more interesting than peck at bird speed or race wildly about the desert for no good reason. So I don`t see how he would ever annoy Bugs enough to cause a confrontation.

I personally think the Road Runner is a spirit guide who is supposed to be leading the Coyote on a vision quest, which the latter is not ready to undertake yet. But then, I`ve been spending too much time in Woodstock lately…

I believe that it is the Nature of the Road Runner to be incapable of being caught by One who intends to kill or eat It. If Mr. Bond (or Anyone else, for that matter) wanted to catch the Road Runner for some other purpose (perhaps the Road Runner has some Information that 007 needs?) then he would be able to do so.

The Road Runner, like Bond, Batman, and a number of other special Beings, is incapable of being killed. Unlike Bond & Batman, who may be caught but will always escape without suffering serious Harm, the Road Runner cannot even be captured. Whether its inherent Elusiveness is manifested in the incompetence of its Pursuer, the malfunction of its pursuer’s Equipment, its seeming Violation of Physical Laws, or some other Happening, the Road Runner will not be caught. Such is its Nature.

Perhaps this is True, perhaps it is Not. Most would have Thought that the Road Runner could not run through solid Rock and Paint, but that appears to have taken place. If it is True that the Road Runner CANNOT escape such an Explosion, then it must be the Case that such an Explosion CANNOT occur near the Road Runner. How Nature and Providence would prevent such an Occurrence is unclear, but They will Protect the Road Runner from Capture and Death, just as surely as They hide a would-be Naked Singularity.