Suggested, obviously, by Barry Obama’s mis-statement earlier this week. The thread’s subject is absurd so the poll’s results will be public.
While you’re at work one day, one of your coworkers approaches you, holds out a small brown box, and says, “Hey, DoperName! You got a package from some business called Rhymer Enterprises!” Your first thought is that there’s a fifty percent chance that opening the package will give you super-powers, but there’s also a fifty-percent chance it’ll send you into some sort of elaborate death trap, so you scream “Get that thing the fuck away from me!” Unfortunately, your voice activates the package’s transporter. Before you can blink twice, you get zapped into a small cage dangling from the ceiling of a large room. Directly below you is a pit of lava.
“Hi there!” a voice calls out. “Thanks for, um, ‘volunteering’ for Rhymer Enterprises latest psychological experiment. We’re wondering if any human being can be trusted with certain telepathic powers: specifically Jedi mind tricks or Vulcan telepathy. We’ve done sufficient human testing to be sure we can give them to you without any ill effects (a couple thousand Welshmen gave up their lives for science in the process), but now we need to release subjects into the wild. You’ve been chosen, and you get to choose. Say “Turn me into a light-saberless Jedi!” and we’ll zap you with the beam that’ll give you Anakin Skywalker’s mind-fucking powers; say “Make me a round-eared Vulcan!” and you get Mr. Spock’s touch telepathy. Either way, once you’ve been zapped we’ll teleport you back to where you were, right beside the smoking corpse of whoever was holding the package when you triggered it. Say anything else–or nothing–and in 15 seconds we’ll drop the cage into the lava.”
Which powerset do you choose? Do you think you could be trusted not to abuse it? Do you even TRY not to abuse it?
Poll in a moment, but don’t let that slow you down.
Yes, but WHICH? You have to voice your choice, and since saying anything other than the code phrases will get you dumped into molten rock, you can’t say “Both, please.”
I opted for the Jedi power, which looks kinda like you’re having an amiable conversation with a guy who gestures a bit while he’s talking; using the Vulcan power would look kinda like you’re having a stroke while I’m putting my hand all over your face, which greatly limits the possibilities.
First, it’s harder to use, which means it’s easier to refrain from using it which should reduce the temptation to misuse it on impulse. Having Jedi powers is too much like having a gun in your hand at all times, and hoping you never lose your temper.
And second, it’s more sophisticated; it can be used for more subtle and generally ethical purposes than dominating people.
I know the Jedi mind trick is something Odin would approve of, Oak–but I thought you worked for THOR.
Another thing–for persons not wishing to be abusive but also not wishing to bathe in molten rock–is that in many applications, the mind meld is actively unpleasant to use. I can recall Kirk asking Spock to use it twice – in the Nomad and Horta episodes – and both times, the captain was both hesitant and apologetic.
I spoke of the redheaded Thor, champion of the common people, bringer of fertility, who was so often away from Asgard during giant attacks because he was off protecting humans from giants (and the Aesir tended to bring their Jotun-problems on themselves anyway.)
Jedi. And not going to even pretend to use it for anything but my own amusement. Considering that my alignment tends towards chaotic neutral leaning towards good.
Most of the time, that’s true…but I do some freelancing as well. Red Beard is generally ok with it. Especially when I get the Druidess to make chili when he’s in town.
I chose the Jedi power, and though I don’t have every intention of using them for evil, I have some intentions to use them for some things some people would consider evil, and if those people get in my face about it, then a few more.
