Until recently, the answer for me was always “Hell no!” Maybe a spanking for a kid, but nothing further.
Tonight I watched 'An American Crime". I found it to be profoundly disturbing, and that’s saying a lot for me, I can watch all sorts of gross stuff, but I have a line.
SPOILERS AHEAD
The fact that this was based on true events made it even more difficult to watch. People that torture children…get a special type of punishment IMO. Kids that torture, get the taste slapped out of their mouth, and some follow up.
“Dylan, did you put a cigarette out on that girl’s arm?” “Time out.”
Fuck that! If Dylan put out a damn cigarette on anyone’s anything he gets slapped to the ground, or reported to the cops.
I pride myself about never being physically abusive with women, but the mother in that story takes the cake. I would punch that woman as hard as I would a man, and then spit on her. Torturing an innocent girl? Die.
I imagine the predominant answer will be “only in self defence/if my life was in danger from said woman/child if I didn’t physically act”.
Even in extreme circumstances like those from the film (admittedly I haven’t seen it)…I’d refer the first case to social services and the latter to the police. They’d deal with it better than I could, certainly better than I could by applying physical violence.
My go-to answer is that I would hit a female in exactly the same circumstances that I would hit a male of the same general sturdiness, strength, and threat to myself. Of course, it’s been longer than I can remember since I’ve needed to hit anyone in self-defense or the like, of either gender, so that’s more of a philosophy than practice.
Well, in general I don’t hit anybody, but yes, I could. Then again, I’m a woman.
I’ve hit my nephew but not in a “spank” way. He was hitting people. So I said, “that hurts, please don’t do it.” I asked him to put out his hand so I could show him what I meant. He put it out, I slapped it. “Did it hurt?” “Yes” “Did you like it?” “Noooo” “Will you please not do it to others? If you’re real mad, let me know and I’ll put my hand out and you can slap it.” “K.”
And yes, when he wants to hit something, I do put my hand out and he can slap it. My parents and grandparents did that when we were little, and it works wonders. For some reason it never goes beyond two slaps, whereas when kids are allowed to punch or kick people it can last for several minutes. I think it’s partly because it repeats that time when the practice got established, and partly because slapping someone else’s hand makes your own sting, while kicking someone doesn’t hurt your shoe-clad feet.
I’d never hit a child, because I don’t have my own to discipline. But I’d defend myself from a young person who was attacking me. Say a 13-year old who was trying to pickpocket me or a 17-year-old who was harassing me on the bus.
If someone is a threat to me, I would do whatever it takes to defend myself. With a child over 5, I would probably hit harder than with an adult (i.e., try to knock them unconscious) simply because it’s been my experience that children are more dangerous because they have less control over their emotions and less understanding in general of what physical violence does to another person.
I would use violence against women for exactly the same reasons as I would do to a man that is for my self-defense, against attacks on others, and for the interests of my nation.
If she was attacking me I’d punch her out. If she was attacking my children or wife I’d punch her out. If she was attacking someone in a wheelchair I’d punch her out.
Relative size and build differentials. The same beat down that might only injure a man, might cripple or kill a child or woman, so the test of using physical violence on kids and women is typically more finely parsed and taken more seriously.