You will never, ever, ever, ever be able to convince me that Alameda County Family Court isn’t biased against men. My latest court date proves it, beyond a reasonable doubt. Wait let me give you some numbers:
Total time I had physical custody of my sons: 5 years
Total time I had court approved custody of my sons 2 years
Total child support paid by me but not owed 12k+
Total legal fees paid by me 8k+
Total child support collected by me $0.00
Total jail time spent by ex on fraud charges approx 28* days
So I went to court today for a child support hearing. As Alameda County is also a party to the case my attorney also made a motion for them to return support payments I’ve been garnished through various means. But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. To understand the total ass raping I’m getting, let’s start at 9:00 am.
I get to court at 9:00 am, why; well because that’s what time it says I’m supposed to be there. Apparently I’m the only one that got that order other than my lawyer, because we were the only ones ready to proceed at 9:00. The judge didn’t make an appearance till 9:20, but that was apparently to shoot the shit with the court staff. Court didn’t start till 9:40.
Now you may have noticed, I have a lawyer. That means at $300 bucks an hour, I’ve just wasted better than $150 for her to stand around picking her nose. Not that she was doing that, but at $7 per minute, at least it would have been interesting. But wait, the butt fucking doesn’t stop there, now I’m a victim of the court Calendar. See the court calendar is done as so: There are two dockets; a 9:00 docket and a 9:05 docket. The 9:00 docket has 10 parties, and the 9:05 docket has 10 parties. I’m on the 9:05 docket; information that may have let me at least have a cigarette before court (sure they’ll probably kill me, if I don’t have a stroke from dealing with court shit first).
Next is the thing that really pisses me off. For some reason, the Judge always calls all the County business first. This is despite the fact that the county has a person permanently stationed there. That means the county courtroom gives premium time to county personnel costing me even more. As a practical consequence that means my case isn’t called until 10:35. And now the fuck over begins in earnest.
This is the fourth motion for child support. The first time my Ex hadn’t filed an Income Declaration. The next two times, she didn’t bother to show up. This time she still hasn’t filled out an Income Declaration. Case continued till late August. Now let me tell you how it went for me. Me; totally unaware that proceedings are underway and I have the children in question in my home; missed first court date. Ex presents a pay stub (I assume). I’m assessed 125 per child/mo.
Next is the first motion for return of child support vs. the county that they took erroneously. County breaks out rulebook. Since my child support was in arrears**, I’m not eligible to receive a refund, unless I could establish fraud. My lawyer presents documents that in fact we are alleging fraud and my Ex readily acknowledges that yes she has pleaded to a fraud charge. Judge asks County; Ok he’s done that now what?
Well, since in the intervening years the Fraud department has switched form Welfare to the DA’s office, I’m still not eligible for a refund, but she’ll look into it. So ordered by Judge.
Cue sound of Stuffy banging head on desk.
*Most of these were for a forged check charge.
** You essentially start off in arrears as once the order for support is established that start collecting from the original complaint date. This, in spite of the fact, that I shouldn’t owe support in the first place.