In an email about her husband going on a short vacation on his own (to get baseball player’s autographs) my best friend just said, “One nice thing about our marriage is that we give each other our space.” You know, I keep hearing that “space” and “your own interests” are important in a marriage, but I don’t see it, at least not yet.
Rick and I have been married for only 7 months, so maybe this will change, but right now, we spend almost all of our free time together. This weekend, for example, we went shopping together, to an ice skating show together, to the gym together, and to meals out together. We plan to go bowling this afternoon together. There is a mix of my interests (ice skating) and his (bowling) and then errands like shopping. We are both willing to work slightly longer hours so that we can commute to work together (a half hour or so drive). We even shower together every morning. Frankly, the only time we are alone is when one of us is surfing, which is hardly ever more than an hour or so, or when we are at work.
I think some people would say that this is too much, but it seems to work well for us. We get along wonderfully.
I guess my questions are these: I know that for some people space works and that is wonderful for them. Why, though, do you always hear that space in a marriage is good, with the implication being that it is good for everyone’s marriage? How much time do you spend away from your SO and how does that work for you? I guess I am hoping to find someone married for years who still enjoys their SO’s company as much as Rick and I like each others’ company.