Spouse, sig. other, whatever, anyone else feel the need to get away for just a week?
And I’m a widow, so I should cherish every moment right?
I do love him, he’s my friend, we travel together a lot, live together.
But once a year I go to visit a girl friend for a week. Just to completely and totally veg. No job, no house, no responsibilities, no partner. 1 week.
It’s not like we’re going to put on our stilettos and cruise for men and meaningless sex. We’re not kids, besides, it would be weird since she’s gay.
When I talk about my upcoming trip, the men make suggestive comments about the nature of our relationship; the women, a lot of them, kind of imperceptibly nod in agreement to the “getting away from everything” part of my trip.
Just finishing a week where the Old Wench went to the Left Coast and I stayed home. It was actually nice to just be alone for a bit. OK, I still had work and the usual things but for a week I didn’t have to consider anyone else in my time.
I’m going to be vacationing apart from my spousal unit for 4 weeks. But it’s not to get away from him. My mom and I are doing a 4-week cruise and he wasn’t interested in going.
He goes on trips with his Harley chapter and since I mostly hate motorcycles, I stay home. If it’s close enough, I might follow him in the car, but I’d rather be home alone with the critters than hang out with bikers who can’t understand that I do *not *like to ride and no, I wouldn’t get hooked if I rode myself. Been there, done that, didn’t like it.
I love traveling alone, and wish I could go more often . . . not to get away from my partner, but everything else. He, on the other hand, travels a lot for work, so he’s happy just to stay home and take care of our critters.
But a few years ago, we met in Paris for a few days. That was so special, but we agreed not to do it again for a while.
I like Caribbean vacations, which we do together. She also likes non-Caribbean vacations which I avoid. Recently she’s done London with a female friend and Ireland with a friend and their mothers. In March 2015 she’s going to Iceland with a woman she works with.
I have a group of girlfriends that I have traveled with every year for the past 15 years. Some years it’s a single night, one year we managed 10 days but it’s usually somewhere between 2 and 7 nights.
It’s not so much the need to get away from our spouses (but that’s a great bonus some years) but time to connect with each other away from the other demands in our lives.
I love it when my husband goes out of town. I don’t have to cook dinner and I can watch chick flicks on the couch all night. Of course I start to miss him after a few days, but that’s a good thing because it makes me appreciate the relationship more. I consider it very healthy for couples to spend time apart once in a while.
I guess my wife and I are outliers- we don’t like vacationing apart. A few years ago she joined a few girlfriends for a long weekend in Vegas, and upon returning admitted she really didn’t like being away without me. She had fun, but wanted to share stuff she did with me instead of with them.
Over the summer my wife often takes our kids to her family’s beach house for a few days here and there. I don’t go because I have to work. I sort of look forward to it, but typically by the 2nd day I just sit in the house alone when I get home from work and wish it wasn’t so empty.
So we do spend time apart, but generally agree we would have enjoyed the time more if we had been together.
My husband and I frequently travel separately. There are things I like to do that he doesn’t, and vice versa. For example, I had no interest in climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. He would have been beyond bored going to the Iditarod or spending a week on a beach doing nothing. We do enjoy traveling together also. We just returned a few weeks ago from a nice drive west to Devil’s Tower, Wyoming, Deadwood SD and the SD Badlands.
Also, even when he was working he had lots of vacation time; after retirement he obviously had infinite vacation time. I changed jobs about every 7 years and rarely had more than 2 weeks per year off. It would have been selfish of me to object if he used his time as he wished.
We’ve been an item for six years and co-habiting for 5.5, so the timescale between us isn’t epic yet. Since he began to work from home, though, I do sometimes I wish I could have a whole day in the house by myself.
I can recall traveling without my ex-wife a couple of times during my first marriage and really enjoying it. It wasn’t so much about getting away from her as it was I was doing things (in one case, at least, a bowling tournament) that held no interest for her, and so the time spent was going to involve one or both of us spending the entire time compromising on what we were doing. It was nice to be able to go do what I wanted to be doing without having to take that into consideration.
The one time she took a lengthy trip away from home without me, I remember enjoying not having to ask anyone else what they wanted for dinner. But again, I missed her company, so it wasn’t about the general idea of wanting to be away from her. It was simply appreciating the positive aspects.
Everyone is different - I wouldn’t like a vacation without my husband. Who would I share things with? - he’s my best friend! I wish we could go on more vacations together, without the kids.
I guess one difference is that, if I want to veg out and watch Dirty Dancing, that’s what I do. And I don’t cook anyway, so that’s not a concern. He’s got his games and hobbies and TV shows, and he does them as he feels like it. So vacation is special time for us, where we can do new cool things together.
It’s weird, I guess - we’re totally best friends, closer to each other than any friend or family member, but when we’re living day to day, we’re totally cool about not being on top of each other 24/7. We talk when we get home, then usually separate and do our own thing until later, and then we hang out before bed.
I enjoy this a lot, actually, whether I’m the partner traveling or the partner at home. As others mentioned, it’s lovely to do what you like without abridging or omitting trips or sights that your partner doesn’t have any interest in. I love the chance to eat Taco Bell over the sink instead of fixing a big meal too.
And there are other reasons. For his Father’s Day gift, I booked my husband and his two daughters a weekend in the Chicago area so they could go to Six Flags, attend a Cubs’ game, and generally have fun together. Sure, I could go, but it’s really important to me that they have their dad-daughter bonding time. They don’t need me around for that - at least, not always.
It can be healthy for some couples. My first marriage would never have lasted 20 years if not for the fact that I was gone a lot. My present spouse and I don’t feel any need for separations of that kind, though.
We like trips together, and we like doing our own thing too.
My favorite week of the year is in April when I go to KY to watch an international level horse show and meet friends I’ve had to move away from. That week is heaven - I don’t have to be responsible for anything or anyone but myself. No animals to feed and let out or in, no husband to feed or work around his schedule, nothing to clean but myself. With the advent of cell phones the trip is even easier. We can separate and do our own thing for a while and then find each other easily.
Husband and I are going on vacation for 10 days next month, and while we’re going to my favorite place in the world, it’s still not quite as relaxing. I’m the one that does ALL the pre-trip planning, and 90% of the packing. I still end up doing most of the cooking, and the dogs come with us so they are on my mind too. Don’t get me wrong, I love this trip, but it’s not the same as being on my own.
When I lived in Florida, a female friend of mine hosted a married female friend on vacation from the cold north. The married friend ended up having quite a torrid fling, actively encouraged by my friend. When the married friend visited again several months later, the fling fired right back up.
