Cracker jokes and novelties. Share yours!

From a box of Sainsbury’s, 12 for GBP9.99 :

Q: What do you call a bee with a quiet hum?

A mumble bee!

Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?

I’ll meet you at the corner!

Q: What do you call Mrs. Santa Claus?

Mary Christmas, of course!

Q: What do you call a girl with a fir tree on her head?

Christmas Carol!

Loot: a tiny mirror, a magnifying glass, a 3-D assemble-the-ball puzzle, and a strange blue thing with a multifaceted lens one end that you can look through and see multiple images of everything.

Christmas crackers aren’t done very much here in the US. Until I moved to the east coast, I’d never even heard of them. Now I’ve heard of them, and seen them, but never gotten one. I should get a box for next year though. Looks like a fun tradition.

There were these two red clay farmers. . . .

oooops! Wrong crackers.

The only time I ever had crackers was when I was living in York. They were fun, but the jokes were L-A-M-E. I see that hasn’t changed since I moved back.

The jokes remind me of Halloween jokes told in St. Louis. Hijack, does any other city in the US require the kids to either tell a joke (trick) or do a song and dance routine (treat) before giving out the snickers bar? End Hijack

ps we don’t have a cracker tradition here either but they are now appearing in stores such as William Sonoma. They seem to be way overpriced at about $30 for a dozen. Does this seem overpriced to you UK’ers?

It’s five o’clock, it’s Friday, it’s Cracker Joke!

All the latest news on cracker related humour.

The jokes in the OP sound a lot like the kind of jokes you find on Laffy Taffy labels. Do you like those, too? Or are there no Laffy Taffies in the UK?

The best cracker joke i’ve read in years:

How did the man almost drown in his muesli?

He was pulled in by a strong currant!

We had them at a work morning tea and the crappy little crowns were smaller and wouldn’t fit on anyone’s head. Now that’s cheap.

I thought this thread was going to be about white jokes!:o

Me too lol :slight_smile:

I’m bummed. :frowning:

I stayed home for Christmas, so I didn’t get to distribute crackers to my sister and family or my mom and her husband. They like them. (Even my mom’s husband, a taciturn Finn, wears the paper hat!) I did spend Christmas eating Chinese food and watching videos here with Nymysys and her husband, but I forgot to give them crackers. (I even got them out and put them on the couch.)

Oh, well. There’s always next year. Maybe I’ll have it together then.

This is where I get to post a picture from several years back of me and the missus looking like total dorks…wearing cracker hats while having Christmas dinner in Dublin.

i tossed the joke in the recycling, but i got a dragonfly hair clip as a prize.

the prizes this year were better than usual.

My prize was a green yo-yo.

My riddle was “what do you call a girl with a wreath on her head?”

Christmas Carol

We also had trivia questions. Mine was “what is the capitol of New York state?” That might have been a tough one back in England, but I live in NY.