Craigslist "casual encounters"

Hi SD,

What do you imagine is the “success” rate of casual encounter ads on Craigslist? Can I assume all these horny guys and girls are getting what they want? I am thinking of posting, and and both awed by the frankness of the posters in detailing their darkest fantasies and frightened by the safety issues inherent in going public with your desires. What is the straight dope on Craigslist?

Mods, not sure if this should be moved to IMHO.


You might want to keep an eye on the ads for a few weeks before you post.

If the same people keep posting fresh ads, they haven’t been killed or robbed yet. If there’s lots of turnover, either it doesn’t work, or they’re not surviving the first hookup.

Here’s a joke I’ve always wanted to use on a Craigslist date:

Me: Hey, have you ever been killed on a Craigslist date?
Her: No…?
Me: Sorry, the correct answer is “not yet”

It costs how much to post an ad on CL?

Ever hear the expression “get what you pay for”?

IME, that is “Might get what you pay for, but never more”.

There was an item on Fark a year or so ago about a young woman whoring herself out via CL*.
The mug shot showed exactly what I’d expect for a CL whore.

    • she was busted after a hotel manager recognized the “in call” premises as a room in his hotel.
      Yes, that bit of info does raise some questions, doesn’t it?

Let’s move this to IMHO.

General Questions Moderator

isn’t craigslist free ? I thought they had gotten rid of personal ads years ago due to the number of underage girls being pimped off through ads …

what surprises me is an hotel owner call the cops in the first place …from knowing people in the hotel biz usually what happens is they charge them more and then keep the difference most of the time its the clerks ripping everyone off…

It sometimes depends on what city you live in, but generally speaking, the men and couples are real, but 99% of the women’s ads are just spam, so don’t even bother replying to them. And if you do post an ad, don’t use your main email address because you’re likely to get hit with a bunch of spam that way as well.

My wife and I once met a nice couple on casual encounters before. We had dinner and chatted, but nothing sexual happened. You may have a higher rate of success on a site like

From what I’ve heard of people responding to them, results ranged from “mediocre,” to “dumpster fire.” From the other side, a friend actually found someone we knew posting an ad for a 3rd one night, but actually had to abort soon after because family came into town.

So all in all, I’m not sure I’ve heard anyone really being overly satisfied by the arrangement.

On the podcast Uhh Yeah Dude, one of the funniest shticks over the years has been when they read aloud from Craigslist’s various personal ads.

I’ve had quite a bit of luck with gay sex during my trips to the states. Not a whole lot with women, though, and almost none in Germany.

It works great if your goal is to have anonymous sex with strangers. I agree that as a straight man you’re much better off posting an ad than responding to women’s ads.

In my experience you can expect that for every 50 responses you get, 45 will be spam, 4 will be whores, and 1 will be a real woman.

Depending on your outlook that could be demoralizing or encouraging. The spam is always obvious, so you have to delete some spam. I don’t think I ever accidentally struck up a conversation with a whore, as they are quite clear about being sex workers. Bottom line is every time I posted an ad I’d get in touch with real women looking for casual sex and all I had to do was delete some spam.

It’s been about 5 years since I was single so I don’t know if anything has changed.

Never tried it myself, but I know a few people who have used it, the consensus seems to be that it can work but it takes a significant effort. You will want to use a disposable phone number and email account because you’ll get a ton of spam/scam stuff on it. You have to be prepared to filter out a lot of junk; generally women have to filter through a ton of dudes who don’t read the ad, may actually be looking for online chat, and may be grossly unappealing, while guys tend to get a ton of spambots, catfish, and scammers. You need to figure out how to filter out the worthless responses pretty quickly, exactly how you do that depends on your personality. What you’re looking for makes a big difference too, ‘young guy looking for a hot chick for NSA sex tonight’ is a bit of a crowded field, but someone looking for something more interesting can probably find a taker.

So, like most things, it works if you’re willing to put in a good bit of effort and aren’t trying to score ‘easy money’, but it’s not the secret way to have hot chicks magically appear at your door when you’re bored on a Wednesday.


Whores are real women.

If you are straight, I would suggest reading posts by women first. Then keep in mind women have different interests than men. Note the men’s ads show their peckers and it is obvious that is all they are interested in. I don’t see any women doing anything like that. (Hint!)

If you are gay/Bi and posting for other men (M4M), then do as they do!

Do you really want to see ads with women showing their peckers?

Catfish are people who engage in catfishing, which is making a fake online persona to connect with other people. They’ll assume a false identity with a some combination of a different age, size, gender, orientation, race, location, etc., have some amount of fake social media presence under that account (usually with stolen photos), and present themselves as this other person. It’s generally done for a psychological thrill for the other person; maybe it’s an older woman enjoying the attention a scantily clad 18-year-old gets, or a ‘parent’s basement’ type pretending to be impressive, a guy who likes fooling other guys into cybering with him, or someone who thinks they’re not attractive but can be online. If it’s done for straight quick profit, like random foreign workers using fashion model pics on facebook to get guys to spend money to sign up to a ‘dating’ site, I generally class it as a ‘scam’ though technically that is a false identity and so could be considered catfishing.

The idea was that the OP reading my message would perhaps mention that he is a rich doctor who loves to go shopping and wants to have lots of babies - rather than showing potential female dates pictures of his privates.

i.e. Place yourself in the shoes of women and think about what they want!

Further reading, look up the word “empathy”.

This was years ago, but I posted in Casual Encounters. I’m female, btw. I set up a nice from the neck down but not too revealing shot (I’m very fit), said a little bit about myself and what I was looking for. I wasn’t in denial about where I was posting, but it was a PG-13 (not x-rated) ad. It wasn’t all about sex. I said I wanted someone who was into fitness, educated and could hold up their end of a conversation and was doing this for reasons similar to mine, which I detailed.

I got tons of responses. I said no dick pics and I got hundreds. They got deleted and blocked right away. No couples. Every obese couple in the tri-state area responded. No married men. I’m married but … Don’t want to hear it pal. Responses that consisted only of “Are you real?” Don’t waste my time. Generic responses. Wow, you’ve really captured my attention. Let’s fuck!

I tried for three weeks in a row. Just as I was about to throw in the towel, a single personal trainer from London with a master’s degree sent in a great response with a normal photo. I met him a few days later and we were each others regular go-to until he moved out of the area.

That’s actually a bad idea; most women that I know who are looking for casual sex would be really turned off by someone talking about how they want to put a baby in them or how marriageable they are, and would find the ‘likes to go shopping’ thing either silly or sexist. If they’re after money, they’re not going to be satisfied with just a line in a message and if they’re not they’re going to be turned off by the assumption that they are.

I mean, posting some stereotypical ‘what women allegedly want’ stuff is better than posting dick pics, but that’s a pretty low bar to overcome.