Who else ended their week with a seagull taking a crap on their heads? I’m just sending this out there; if you had a crappy week, this is my gift to you. Didja finish off your crappy week with a big old glop of seagull poop spashing off your forehead and onto the inside of your sunglasses while your hands were full with grocery bags so you had to look at it an inch away from your eye for another minute as you finished off the walk to your apartment?
So … if enough people chime in and let me know that this happens all the time, and pretty much everyone gets bird crap on their heads at some point in their lives, it might brighten my day. Otherwise, I’m just going to be in a “the universe hates me” mood for a little while.
Regardless, here’s hoping next week works out better for me, and for all of you as well.
I spend the first 20-odd years of my life hanging out on the beach/boardwalk as often as possible, and was shat upon by a seagull a grand total of one time.
Of course it happened to be as I was chatting up a girl I had just met, so the timing was pretty lousy, but still…
However, it has happened to me, so the universe might not have it out for you just yet.
While you were talking to a girl? That’s about ten times worse, maybe even 50. See, it’s making me feel better already. (Of course, all we might know now is that the capricious forces of the universe are angrier at you than me). Still, it makes it less awful for me, so thanks!
Five years ago I spent a month in the UK. One of those days I spent in Dover. I’d barely left the train station when a seagull plotzed on the top of my head. Luckily, I had some wipes with me, but it surely was annoying.
Well, a bird pooped on me once too, but I don’t know if it was a seagull or a pigeon. I was getting into a car to go to a wedding when it happened. There were several possible culprits nearby.
While I’ve never actually had a seagull poop on me, my father says that seagulls are indeed full of crap, and are very good at crapping. He adds that they are also good at squawking.
Daddy grew up in Gloucester, Massachusetts. His dad was a commercial fisherman/rum runner, and Daddy spent a lot of time on boats. He knows about seagulls. He thinks they are one of the most disgusting critters ever.
Reminds me of an old Nissan commercial. A squadron of pigeons, complete with the bi-plane leather helmets with the earflaps, fly in formation, swooping down over a backyard wedding and strafing the punch bowl. Their ultimate goal is to crap on some guy’s brand new Nissan. He manages to get the car into his garage just as the pigeons arrive. I’m remembering John Ratzenberger’s voice as the squadron leader, but I may be misremembering it. One of my favorites.
Ah, found it. It was from 1997, and aired during Superbowl.
Well, there are a few things you can be thankful for:
Birdie, birdie in the sky
Why’d ya do that in my eye?
Never mind, don’t you cry
It’s just a good thing cows don’t fly!
I spent a couple summers working on a charter fishing boat. Been hit by seagull crap a number of times. The worst time is when it hit right on my nose.
I was also hit by goose crap once while golfing. The geese had to have been a couple hundred feet up at the time. I thought I was hit by a golf ball it hit me that hard.
Well, no seagulls ever used my head as a port-a-potty, but I do harbour certain feeling of dislike for them when at the wee hours of the morning they make that loud sort of laugh-like sound. Screeching little bastards. Go to sleep, stupid birds!
As for seagull excrement landing on your head, they say it’s lucky, maybe because the rest of the day can only seem better in comparison.
This past Wednesday, a bird pooped on my eye. While I was wearing glasses, meaning that it displayed very impressive aim. I mean, if you had a bird trained to poop on command, and a hundred attempts, I don’t think you’d be able to manage that kind of precision.
A relevant quote I’ve seen online: “There’s no such thing as a constipated bird.” I’m not sure if it’s actually true (I’m sure they could have GI issues), but it sounds reasonably accurate.
I’m a terrible person. During my college orientation, a flock of chimney swifts came twittering overhead on our tour. One of them nailed the girl next to me and, try as I might, I couldn’t help but giggle. Good thing I never saw that girl again.
I graduated from a high school that is about two miles from the beach, plus has a large open lawn out front where we were allowed to eat. The local seagulls had figured out years ago that there were good pickings there after lunch period since so many idiots left their trash behind. I think almost everybody got hit at least once. My left shoulder got it, fortunately, not anywhere on my face.
Where I work we have a family of swans that lives on the pond right out front, which is lovely, except that Dad Swan is incredibly cranky and Mom Swan isn’t much better and I’ve been chased by Dad on several occasions. Swans are big birds when they are out of the water! And this morning I also got divebombed by some blackbirds. I like the birds, but I don’t want to be attacked by them!
